when so much shit crosses your mind that you worry and panic and fuss over everything to the point you feel like you driving people away, just seems to make me worry more when i just want to fucking stop. i want a fucking off button for it. i want to stop loosing literal hours of sleep over worrying and remembering shit thats Long since past that shoul just remaine burried and dead. but no, here i am writing this fucking post because im worried yet again over something stupid and small and it needs to stop. Drowing my brain with music or long play through videos only helps so much. And also my fucking anxiety is running rampant as well....i used to have all of this shit under control without medicine or a fucking shrink that charges too much, why now? Why rear your ugly fucking monsterous head Now? so to recap, Im a worrying stupidly anxious person who needs to learn how to get control again over this stupid brain of hers before spiraling into that deep dark and ugly hole of depression she once crawled out of....I just want it all to stop....i just want to be fucking normal for once for more than a year or two.....