I thought about things and believe me it is very hard at times thought about leaving this world but unlike fairytales really cannot leave this world and less you do drastic things. I thought about how it would hurt people people I know I know deeply I can count them on one hand, not much to be said there.

Then I thought about my kids? My true children you see I was never blessed with the ability to have actual human children I was born sterile, I had many many pet children I think that's what brought me closer to the fandom, or are furry children and for them I will not leave voluntarily I do not know what would they do without me, especially one that is Smudge sorry I just do not know what he would do without me or anybody would do with him or how much it would break his little heart that I was not around to pick him up in snuggle him to rub is little nose or ears yes I have two others but out of all of the children he is the most important to me, that may sound harsh I do not love the other ones any less but he is the most closest to me.