If you don't care much for me venting then you can just ignore this.

I try to keep my personal feelings away from people Because I don't want anyone to feel bad for my sake. Bit doing that just kinda makes it worse. Also it seens to be a general opinion among people that venting and stuff is a bit pathetic.
But I feel like I need to be honest to you people right now, I wish I could just die right now. And I really mean it. These past few months I've been feeling pretty much worthless and I've sorta lost motivation for doing things, so my life has sorta been stuck. I hav'nt been able to draw anything new, because whenever I try drawing it does'nt appeal to me.
This is a feeling that starts to get to me very often and it usually comes in waves.
Although I did feel better for a while after I saw Zootopia, because that movie made me feel good about myself again :D But that only really lasted for maybe a week and now I'm just back to this same state again.
It's not the first time in my life that I've felt this suicidal-ish though. There was that one time in high school when I was'nt doing well in my classes and I mean, I was always feeling pressured very harshly by my family to do good but my concentration problems pretty much made it impossible to do any good. So back then I sorta had some suicidal thoughts but I ended up not really doing anything and then I just sorta failed school and now I don't really have any future.
These thoughts are something I've never really admitted to anyobe before, because I really don't like being that guy who ruins the party by being a downer. So I apologise for doing that. I don't know how active I'll be now, because right now I'm not feeling for anything.