FA+
Shop
Memories (A crazy long piece of my mind atm)
9 years ago
General
It's not a bad day.
It's just one where I remember quite a few things that boggle my mind or used to send me into panic attacks. I can't even believe I used to have panic attacks after starting anxiety meds. Everything's been so calm in comparison.
I'm not special.
That's the major message that's been floating around. I mean, childhood was no easy task when I was relied on to take care of my sibling and protect from bullies. I never really got rewarded for much, and at one point, that caused quite a few emotional issues. Sometimes, it still does.
BUT the one thing that's just impossible to believe for me right now is the teacher I used to deal with that just pushed that message on everyone. Memories of a class being told they would never achieve anything close to their dreams, being told to "get over" any mental issues being dealt with, and even being expected to pass up other teachers assignments in favor of theirs just still continue to make me wonder how this lady was capable of showing so little compassion to others.
I mean, she caused a suicide attempt in my life, and I can still remember being picked up by 4 friends and thrown in a backseat of a car before being rushed away to safety after they found me immobile on a street late at night.
What possesses someone to feel that little remorse? That little care towards people in general?
It's incredible.
For anyone dealing with said "LOVEly" teacher, I'm sorry. ....you're gonna have a bad time, probably.
Otherwise, I've gotten so many nice comments, so much attention for my work recently, and I'm so grateful to say I've met such awesome people. Thanks guys! You're all amazing.
-Spastic
Tl;Dr: Emotional shit about teacher and stuff. Thanks for being friends. You're so awesome.
It's just one where I remember quite a few things that boggle my mind or used to send me into panic attacks. I can't even believe I used to have panic attacks after starting anxiety meds. Everything's been so calm in comparison.
I'm not special.
That's the major message that's been floating around. I mean, childhood was no easy task when I was relied on to take care of my sibling and protect from bullies. I never really got rewarded for much, and at one point, that caused quite a few emotional issues. Sometimes, it still does.
BUT the one thing that's just impossible to believe for me right now is the teacher I used to deal with that just pushed that message on everyone. Memories of a class being told they would never achieve anything close to their dreams, being told to "get over" any mental issues being dealt with, and even being expected to pass up other teachers assignments in favor of theirs just still continue to make me wonder how this lady was capable of showing so little compassion to others.
I mean, she caused a suicide attempt in my life, and I can still remember being picked up by 4 friends and thrown in a backseat of a car before being rushed away to safety after they found me immobile on a street late at night.
What possesses someone to feel that little remorse? That little care towards people in general?
It's incredible.
For anyone dealing with said "LOVEly" teacher, I'm sorry. ....you're gonna have a bad time, probably.
Otherwise, I've gotten so many nice comments, so much attention for my work recently, and I'm so grateful to say I've met such awesome people. Thanks guys! You're all amazing.
-Spastic
Tl;Dr: Emotional shit about teacher and stuff. Thanks for being friends. You're so awesome.
I'll keep workin'!
Lol. I just felt like putting it down somewhere. Maybe it'll stop crowding my mind. ;p
-hugs the dragon-
Teachers. Rolling their eyes at me and blaming me for being bullied, not once did they even stand up and tell the other kids to stuff it when it was happening right in front of them. And we still had those "no bullying tolerated" posters and junk everywhere, too.
I feel your pain. I know mental disorders weren't all that commonplace to talk about when I was a lil' kid, but jeebus. You'd think somebody, somewhere would have looked at people like us and said "you know, this maybe isn't your fault, maybe we shouldn't be making it worse."
Hopefully you're feeling better!
Y'know, I had similar issues like that in elementary school, too. A catholic elementary school, in fact. It seems like they just put up with stuff for money in many of those situations. Plus, everyone seems to be under this impression that you can't get sick like that until you're older, which is completely bogus.
I'm so sorry to hear about you going through all of that nonsense and having to cope with the mental and physical stuff to put on the frosting. My friend went in and out of the hospital as well, only to find out she had a kidney infection. People at school had no clue about any of it.
Bwaaahhh! I hurrrr for joo, too,!!!
I'd also like to share one of my favorite songs, its very powerful, and on subject.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ia5STunnvaU&nohtml5=False
(I chose this edit because it goes right into the lyrics, but the original is better)
Supes excited for new music. :DDD
Gonna listen as soon as I get hooommee..