I've been going through tough times, lately, especially psychological problems. Depression, being the main issue. As some people know, I consider myself to be "bi-gender." Which is basically being physically one gender, but have the mind set of both genders. Sometime, it's one or the other, and other times it's both at once.

With that being said, I've been noticing lately that when I'm in my male mood, I've been happy and nearly my old self. But when I go back to my female mood, I become depressed and sensitive about everything. Sure, my guy side can be a bit bittersweet, but that's easier to deal with, since lately my female side has been having a lot of suicidal thoughts lately. >.< (Please note: no, I do not have a split personality, these are just the different sides of me.) So for me to kill off my female side and go fully male has become more and more appealing.. It's still something to consider..

Especially since I will most likely not have children, even though I do want them.. My mate recently came out as not seeming as eager to having them, as I am. Which, also, put me into a bit of a depression, being that I've always wanted little ones of my own.. I have always thought that, if I'm unable to conceive, then might as well be a male, since I have been raised to be male by my father.

Meh.. Just late night thoughts..

-Sammeh<3