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Life Update: Turning Pages
9 years ago
General
Taking a load off.
Hoh boy. Graduation’s coming. It’s almost here.
Soon I’ll be leaving Los Angeles and making for my college campus nestled in the Finger Lakes in upstate New York. They’ll walk me out on the stage, hand me a diploma, have me pose with the dean, and then throw me out on the curb of adulthood.
It’s at this moment, with stress clouding my mind and keeping me up to the wee hours of the morning, I decided it was as good a time as any to start keeping a public journal. So, whether you’re a friend or guest, I’d like to thank you for dropping by.
As it currently stands, I have fifteen days to draft and polish the last forty pages of my thesis screenplay, wrap up my two Los Angeles internships, then pack everything up and figure out where I go from here.
I don’t have any job offers lined up, and cinema and photography graduates notoriously are made to suffer through 5-8 years of grueling, menial, low-paying work before finally gather enough experience to land a dependable industry job.
Yay, life choices!
The stress of these realities has caused me to break out across my upper chest, and scratch anxiously at my scalp (this is about as unsexy as it sounds).
I went to see a movie with a gal I met online. Didn’t go so well. Nothing bad. I just wasn’t feeling anything.
She had a strange walk—a birth defect in her left leg (I don’t know the specifics). I wonder if her disability played any part in my feelings (or, lack thereof). It’d be a real shitty reason not to follow-up, if that were the case.
Of course, lots of people I know and love have physical defects of one kind or another, so I don’t think that was the main reason.
Perhaps I’m just not ready to be in a relationship again.
Despite these mounting anxieties, I’d be remiss if I didn’t make note of how things have changed for the better.
I am far better off now than I was two years ago. I’ve made new friends, become more open in sharing my work online and in-person, and have made great strides in improving my self-image.
But there’s still work to be done.
When my thesis screenplay’s over and done with I think I’ll try my hand at short fiction, again (maybe even go full furry). I’ve sorely neglected my traditional writing skills during these past three years of my screenwriting concentration and I hope to remedy that. Perhaps writing prose again will help clear the specters of my past.
Although I’m afraid of where my future leads, I must keep reminding myself of how much better things are now than they were before. I’m no longer tied down by an abusive, one-sided relationship, I’ve reaffirmed my belief in myself as a screenwriter, and met some of the best friends I could ever hope for.
Here’s to a prosperous new chapter in this story I call life. I hope some of you will join me on this journey.
Soon I’ll be leaving Los Angeles and making for my college campus nestled in the Finger Lakes in upstate New York. They’ll walk me out on the stage, hand me a diploma, have me pose with the dean, and then throw me out on the curb of adulthood.
It’s at this moment, with stress clouding my mind and keeping me up to the wee hours of the morning, I decided it was as good a time as any to start keeping a public journal. So, whether you’re a friend or guest, I’d like to thank you for dropping by.
As it currently stands, I have fifteen days to draft and polish the last forty pages of my thesis screenplay, wrap up my two Los Angeles internships, then pack everything up and figure out where I go from here.
I don’t have any job offers lined up, and cinema and photography graduates notoriously are made to suffer through 5-8 years of grueling, menial, low-paying work before finally gather enough experience to land a dependable industry job.
Yay, life choices!
The stress of these realities has caused me to break out across my upper chest, and scratch anxiously at my scalp (this is about as unsexy as it sounds).
I went to see a movie with a gal I met online. Didn’t go so well. Nothing bad. I just wasn’t feeling anything.
She had a strange walk—a birth defect in her left leg (I don’t know the specifics). I wonder if her disability played any part in my feelings (or, lack thereof). It’d be a real shitty reason not to follow-up, if that were the case.
Of course, lots of people I know and love have physical defects of one kind or another, so I don’t think that was the main reason.
Perhaps I’m just not ready to be in a relationship again.
Despite these mounting anxieties, I’d be remiss if I didn’t make note of how things have changed for the better.
I am far better off now than I was two years ago. I’ve made new friends, become more open in sharing my work online and in-person, and have made great strides in improving my self-image.
But there’s still work to be done.
When my thesis screenplay’s over and done with I think I’ll try my hand at short fiction, again (maybe even go full furry). I’ve sorely neglected my traditional writing skills during these past three years of my screenwriting concentration and I hope to remedy that. Perhaps writing prose again will help clear the specters of my past.
Although I’m afraid of where my future leads, I must keep reminding myself of how much better things are now than they were before. I’m no longer tied down by an abusive, one-sided relationship, I’ve reaffirmed my belief in myself as a screenwriter, and met some of the best friends I could ever hope for.
Here’s to a prosperous new chapter in this story I call life. I hope some of you will join me on this journey.
