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Had a shitty week topped with shitty day.
9 years ago
Kiss me once and I will surely melt and die
This past Tuesday (the 5th) was the 4 year anniversary of losing my dear boocat. So it didn't start out great. The same day i got word that my best friend and her husband will indeed be relocated due to work, too far to visit on any regularity without moving ourselves.. Which further put me into a slump. That day i took my last Valium. It's effects lasted longer than i care to admit (not mood stabilizing) but creatively challenging my brain.. making it hard to come up with ideas to draw.. It also could be the pretty severe depression.
I did manage to save a dog that had been dumped by someone in the apartment complex across the street. They apparently were trying for weeks to get him back, as he was adopted out from the Gulf Coast Humane Society, returned, adopted out again, returned and then the last person adopted him and dumped him out the door. Got bit in the process.. hurt like a bastard but he's safe http://i.imgur.com/eEUAogv.jpg <--- the weirdo human faced thing.. Then! i found out he was a she! lolololol
I've been saving up to get a used truck for the dude, so he can move to another job that he has to have his own vehicle for. Our Grand Marquis isn't made for the job he's got tot do.. so i'm trying to save up around $3k to start with. But it sounds like every other week something else is piling on that i need to spend that savings on.. So i would love to get more work going. I would bust my ass 24/7 if it meant i helped out more.
Last week a coworker made a joke that he'd be a better "girlfriend" to my husband because he had a job.. they both laughed about it.. I know he doesn't know about my anxiety and severe stress issues.. but my husband sure does.. it really hurt to hear him laugh at it. I've been having a shitty, why am i so useless, week..
My husband keeps seeing other much better much more talented artists with patreons that make thousands a month, and wants me to start one, thinking a. i'm going to make anything remotely close, and b. I'm anywhere near that good and c. i could figure out how to continually produce art at a pace that would be beneficial to anyone and work that anyone would want to see.. but he also doesn't take into count that i really don't want to go that route yet, until i'm better, until i learn more.. but the more i dodge the reasons and don't do it, the more he gets miffed that i work so hard and make not enough (in his mind i do too much work on each drawing for what i don't earn on the return) but i am just a perfectionist and have been working to make it easier on myself but hard to give up.. So i'm not starting a patreon.. certainly not yet. That may change one day, but for now, not having one.
I do want to know if anyone would be interested if i started streaming while i work. Just hang out and watch and such.. Maybe get some stream sketches or watch me do commissions lol
Today was a crapshoot of unfun. a guy that gives me severe anxiety because he drinks excessively and is hard to get rid of... came over to have my dude work on his phone.. i hid in the bedroom with the cats most of the time, trying not to puke from the anxiety.. later he offered to take us to dinner for fixing his phone.. i was reluctant and wanted to just go do a small grocery trip and be done. But they wanted to go out.. so we ended up at hooters so they could get their all you can eat wings.. This guy had like 5 of their big beers and full meal.. at the end, he says he's going to have a smoke, and leaves. He ditched the entire tab that he said he was treating us on.. so we ended up paying the entire thing, 100$ isn't a lot to some folks, but when you are trying to save up and not eat out.. it's a hit. I was livid.. So i came home sans 100$ and went to bed. Woke up to a friend posting about her husband going for a walk with the dogs and having a heart attack.. he never made it home.
I would really like to do some art now.. something, but since i am just sitting here pondering life and it's weird way of making things go south at odd times.. just drinking tea like "whelp, that shit happened.. now what?"
TL;DR: Shitty week, love you all.
PS: the foster cat potato is getting his new potatoes cut off the 20th :D
I did manage to save a dog that had been dumped by someone in the apartment complex across the street. They apparently were trying for weeks to get him back, as he was adopted out from the Gulf Coast Humane Society, returned, adopted out again, returned and then the last person adopted him and dumped him out the door. Got bit in the process.. hurt like a bastard but he's safe http://i.imgur.com/eEUAogv.jpg <--- the weirdo human faced thing.. Then! i found out he was a she! lolololol
I've been saving up to get a used truck for the dude, so he can move to another job that he has to have his own vehicle for. Our Grand Marquis isn't made for the job he's got tot do.. so i'm trying to save up around $3k to start with. But it sounds like every other week something else is piling on that i need to spend that savings on.. So i would love to get more work going. I would bust my ass 24/7 if it meant i helped out more.
Last week a coworker made a joke that he'd be a better "girlfriend" to my husband because he had a job.. they both laughed about it.. I know he doesn't know about my anxiety and severe stress issues.. but my husband sure does.. it really hurt to hear him laugh at it. I've been having a shitty, why am i so useless, week..
My husband keeps seeing other much better much more talented artists with patreons that make thousands a month, and wants me to start one, thinking a. i'm going to make anything remotely close, and b. I'm anywhere near that good and c. i could figure out how to continually produce art at a pace that would be beneficial to anyone and work that anyone would want to see.. but he also doesn't take into count that i really don't want to go that route yet, until i'm better, until i learn more.. but the more i dodge the reasons and don't do it, the more he gets miffed that i work so hard and make not enough (in his mind i do too much work on each drawing for what i don't earn on the return) but i am just a perfectionist and have been working to make it easier on myself but hard to give up.. So i'm not starting a patreon.. certainly not yet. That may change one day, but for now, not having one.
I do want to know if anyone would be interested if i started streaming while i work. Just hang out and watch and such.. Maybe get some stream sketches or watch me do commissions lol
Today was a crapshoot of unfun. a guy that gives me severe anxiety because he drinks excessively and is hard to get rid of... came over to have my dude work on his phone.. i hid in the bedroom with the cats most of the time, trying not to puke from the anxiety.. later he offered to take us to dinner for fixing his phone.. i was reluctant and wanted to just go do a small grocery trip and be done. But they wanted to go out.. so we ended up at hooters so they could get their all you can eat wings.. This guy had like 5 of their big beers and full meal.. at the end, he says he's going to have a smoke, and leaves. He ditched the entire tab that he said he was treating us on.. so we ended up paying the entire thing, 100$ isn't a lot to some folks, but when you are trying to save up and not eat out.. it's a hit. I was livid.. So i came home sans 100$ and went to bed. Woke up to a friend posting about her husband going for a walk with the dogs and having a heart attack.. he never made it home.
I would really like to do some art now.. something, but since i am just sitting here pondering life and it's weird way of making things go south at odd times.. just drinking tea like "whelp, that shit happened.. now what?"
TL;DR: Shitty week, love you all.
PS: the foster cat potato is getting his new potatoes cut off the 20th :D
Kritterfox
~kritterfox
Mmmm hopefully the week after will be a lot better *Nodnod* ^_^
*Hugs on you tightly tightly* :O Must have good weeks hun! <3
