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No More Fat
9 years ago
General
I had to write this after reading and wrestling with my emotions regarding this article: (A Call to Action: Your Fat Friend Is Going It Alone).
This is a notice that I will be unfollowing those who post fat/gaining/weight-gain-encouragement materials. I understand that this is a valid fetish and fantasy. But for me, I've been struggling with my weight all my adult life. I have followed advice from well-meaning people to "You can find someone who'll be attracted to you for your shape and girth" only to find people who ONLY liked me for those traits. I've wasted years of my life on this, seeking acceptance not for my weight nor in spite of my weight. I want to be loved for me. If someone loves a fat guy, that's fine. But even those who have said they love me for being me also try to encourage me to either lose or gain weight.
I don't want my weight to be a part of the picture any longer!
And this is particularly problematic because several artists I follow who draw things other than weight-gain stuff do really great things like landscapes or action-adventure drawings! But they also make a surprisingly large amount of fat-based art. So, I can't keep doing this. I can't keep staring at bloated, round creatures that make me feel terrible about myself.
So, no more. I'm honestly sorry if I've hurt your feelings. Such was not my intent. but I cannot keep going on feeling like my weight is the first thing people see about me. I can't keep going, loving food and eating, while realizing that people stare at me in disgust or fetish-fueled arousal BECAUSE of that!
I've tried losing weight. I'm hopefully going to try again. But I keep ending up back where I started: feeling alone, unloved, and the subject of one extreme or another with regards to my girth.
So, that's why this is happening.
Going forward, as these sorts of art appear in my feed, I'll just un-follow.
Yours,
Sylvan Scott
This is a notice that I will be unfollowing those who post fat/gaining/weight-gain-encouragement materials. I understand that this is a valid fetish and fantasy. But for me, I've been struggling with my weight all my adult life. I have followed advice from well-meaning people to "You can find someone who'll be attracted to you for your shape and girth" only to find people who ONLY liked me for those traits. I've wasted years of my life on this, seeking acceptance not for my weight nor in spite of my weight. I want to be loved for me. If someone loves a fat guy, that's fine. But even those who have said they love me for being me also try to encourage me to either lose or gain weight.
I don't want my weight to be a part of the picture any longer!
And this is particularly problematic because several artists I follow who draw things other than weight-gain stuff do really great things like landscapes or action-adventure drawings! But they also make a surprisingly large amount of fat-based art. So, I can't keep doing this. I can't keep staring at bloated, round creatures that make me feel terrible about myself.
So, no more. I'm honestly sorry if I've hurt your feelings. Such was not my intent. but I cannot keep going on feeling like my weight is the first thing people see about me. I can't keep going, loving food and eating, while realizing that people stare at me in disgust or fetish-fueled arousal BECAUSE of that!
I've tried losing weight. I'm hopefully going to try again. But I keep ending up back where I started: feeling alone, unloved, and the subject of one extreme or another with regards to my girth.
So, that's why this is happening.
Going forward, as these sorts of art appear in my feed, I'll just un-follow.
Yours,
Sylvan Scott
But, y'know what? I think I can choose to believe it.
And doing so, I recognize your kind words for the kindness they are.
Thank you! <hugs>
If they're trying to encourage you to gain weight, that's just confusing. To me that's sortof treating you as their fetish.
But people who love you for who you are might also encourage you to lose weight because they might have concern about health issues. If someone says "you're absolutely, positively 100% fine as you are," then that's when I'd start getting suspicious.
When I was trying to get fit, it was the encouragement of others that really kept me going. People asking how my workout went, people giving me tips for more effective exercise, people laying on encouragement even if I didn't lift heavier weights than I had a month ago. It's hard motivating myself to go to the gym if I'm the only one doing it. It's hard sticking to a healthier meal plan if I don't have that extra push.
I kindof lost that encouragement, and I've backslid pretty badly over the last year.
I apologize if what I say sounds offensive (I swear I don't mean it to be so, but I've been told it is) : I find it difficult to share my feelings about myself, my body and whatnot around here (FA), because so many seem to find the overweight male very attractive (or at least they say they do).
Obviously I have been single for a long while, am unhappy about it and continue to try and change it, and am in a minority as a furry in being a straight male, but I often find myself frustrated as well. It seems that other women are looking for someone more physically fit than I, and so I make little progress in dating in that regard. The reason it's frustrating for me is that it feels like if I only were able to reciprocate interest from other men, my body type would not be the hindrance that it is. But since I cannot, it does me no good (and only harm) when I read in this community or see others rush to defend or fetishize being over-weight.
/Rant
Does that make sense?