I'm starting to become a bit more conerned about my physical and mental health. People are noticing I'm not the same, I have a lot more anxiety ever since I started this job and I talk way too fast. Yet, I'm too shy to start conversations on my own. It almost sounds like I'm nervous and pushing people away.
I feel like I've been working more than I've been alive and it's really scaaring me because it's pushing me away from this fandom hard. And I'im holding on as tight as I can but with that depressing stream I've had last week and just... Knowing I can't do art why do I try and why do I do anything?
I'm not eating right and I'm getting 5 hours a sleep a night. I'm exhausted and I'm not ready for work. I'm really fucking scared guys, I'm losing control. It's affecting who I am as a person, and I don't like that, because all I've wanted to be is as transparent as possible and life is working to exhaust me to depression and incompetence and to the point of just... Wanting to go away somehow.