im sorry if i start acting differently, im getting near my braking point because of the stuff that i have to deal with every day. if i dont sound has cheerful or caring has i normally do.

i know some of you are going to ask what is wrong and im just going to go ahead a say. this has been going for a over 3 months actually, I've been feeling used, abused, ignored and forgotten and im constantly getting hurt but i just push it all back and do a grate effort to be the person that i normally am, not that i dont want others to find out but because i want to help others.
recently I've been really close to my braking point, I've teared yesterday while venting to a friend and i almost did while writing this. i dont know how longer i can take it because even a small thing starts a avalanche in my head that gets me closer to my braking point once again. i get this pile of bad thoughts rushing through my head and its like if im getting pulled to the bottom of a lake by a chain.

this is my main fight right now is those thoughts because its what is affecting me right now.