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Rant: Parents and flying home
9 years ago
General
This is mostly just verbal vomit. I want to just get my frustrations out somewhere that isn't somehow related to family.
Most of you don't know what my life is like, or has been like, but the very few of you who know me and my parents especially will probably understand this journal and why I'm so frustrated.
So, last year I went out to the USA to visit my parents and to move them. We agreed I'd come out with Ellis and we'd get them packed up and moved into another place that would cater to their needs.
So what did they decide to not do last minute? Move. They've been renting an apartment since 2007 and live on the top floor of a 3 story building. Mind you, its a lovely place, but both of them are very disabled and can't get up and down the stairs easily as there is no elevator. Mini breakdown my mother is a cancer survivor but has dealt with major emotional trauma for most of her life, if not all? Diabetes, hallucinations and refuses to go to the doctor because OhGodObamaCare and shes now saying she sees cropcircles showing up on her body. No one can drag her to get checked out and she keeps saying she sees flashes of lights which must be aliens and little bugs that are attacking her. -_- I love her but last time I was with her, it took her 2 weeks with a SEVERE UTI infection to finally get so painful and up in her kidneys that she HAD to go to the doctor. Well, thats mom - dad has PTSD, Parkinsons, Dementia, Diabetes, Prostate Cancer, Seizures, Loss of hearing, is morbidly obese and can't do anything without oxygen.
Frustratingly, they don't take advice from ANYONE and make irrational decisions, often. No one in my family can guide them and we've all tried to tell them to:)
A. Move closer to the VA hospital my dad goes to, my mom can only drive and dad has no license. She can't see at night and doesn't drive safely.
B. A retirement home with staff always on call would be amazing,
C. Keep renting and just downsize.
So to make that little breakdown easier, this is now whats suddenly happened:
A, B & C: Dad decided to buy a house in the middle of nowhere, with land, farther away from the VA hospital and DIDNT TELL MY MOTHER that he put an offer down. Luckily she liked the house when she saw it.
I'm frustrated. It was a bit surprising to mom since the house is totally in his name. I love him to pieces, don't get me wrong, and those who know him personally probably just eyeroll at this point in life, but I would love to hit my head on the desk over and over again. He's never thought about what my mom needs or wants and he doesn't think what it'll mean for me once he passes, as bad as that sounds. There is nothing I can do or say about his mental state because he's getting help from the VA to buy the house. I know its their life and they can do whatever they want to, but I've watched their issues since I was a baby and I've watched them struggle. They don't want the easy life, or an easier life and seem to enjoy making it more difficult on themselves and love telling me how sad they are Im not there. Which whenever I am, I run around doing everything or trying to keep them out of trouble. Dad honestly needs a leash when we go shopping, so thank GOD I had Ellis last time I went out. This time though I may be going it solo, I hope not but I'll probably cry if I do. Ellis has been a rock in my life since everything here in the UK fell apart and after meeting my family understand why I am the way I am and why little things can bother me so badly >_>; It's just the cards I was delt, so my grandma tells me.
Back to the house though. They don't even know at this point if its a 45 or 60 day escrow, so I'm absolutely useless at this point in time. I like planning. I love things being written down and I can follow plans. :| I'm not a spontaneous sort of person at all so my family is my kryptonite. I'll be flying out in June either early or late and boxing up their things, then organizing the move, then unpacking and getting them settled in. I need to find out if I can meet the neigbours and find anyone they know in the area. Then I have to try cleaning their old apartment to get some funds back, but I get to do it all solo. Well, just me and my 9 year old.
So this has been my life for the last few weeks and only just found out Thursday that "Oh dad put an offer and it's been accepted." I was happier when it was just "We're looking with a realtor, we won't rush to any conclusions."
:/
So I don't know when or how long I'll be in northern CA. I can't rent a car so will borrow theirs, and because I'm completely self employed doing artwork and with no laptop I'm not sure I'll have any sort of income when I go there. -_- I'll try to do traditional art and mail it out or something and hope that can keep me going and try to get as much work done between now and the end of May.
I know theres no point in posting this really, but I guess its a silly look at my life behind a computer screen. X3
I'm not after comments or anyone telling me what they should or shouldnt be doing. I love them both dearly, even if we aren't blood related, they were the only parents I knew growing up.
I just have that feeling where you want to scream into a pillow and not feel like youre doing this alone.
Most of you don't know what my life is like, or has been like, but the very few of you who know me and my parents especially will probably understand this journal and why I'm so frustrated.
So, last year I went out to the USA to visit my parents and to move them. We agreed I'd come out with Ellis and we'd get them packed up and moved into another place that would cater to their needs.
So what did they decide to not do last minute? Move. They've been renting an apartment since 2007 and live on the top floor of a 3 story building. Mind you, its a lovely place, but both of them are very disabled and can't get up and down the stairs easily as there is no elevator. Mini breakdown my mother is a cancer survivor but has dealt with major emotional trauma for most of her life, if not all? Diabetes, hallucinations and refuses to go to the doctor because OhGodObamaCare and shes now saying she sees cropcircles showing up on her body. No one can drag her to get checked out and she keeps saying she sees flashes of lights which must be aliens and little bugs that are attacking her. -_- I love her but last time I was with her, it took her 2 weeks with a SEVERE UTI infection to finally get so painful and up in her kidneys that she HAD to go to the doctor. Well, thats mom - dad has PTSD, Parkinsons, Dementia, Diabetes, Prostate Cancer, Seizures, Loss of hearing, is morbidly obese and can't do anything without oxygen.
Frustratingly, they don't take advice from ANYONE and make irrational decisions, often. No one in my family can guide them and we've all tried to tell them to:)
A. Move closer to the VA hospital my dad goes to, my mom can only drive and dad has no license. She can't see at night and doesn't drive safely.
B. A retirement home with staff always on call would be amazing,
C. Keep renting and just downsize.
So to make that little breakdown easier, this is now whats suddenly happened:
A, B & C: Dad decided to buy a house in the middle of nowhere, with land, farther away from the VA hospital and DIDNT TELL MY MOTHER that he put an offer down. Luckily she liked the house when she saw it.
I'm frustrated. It was a bit surprising to mom since the house is totally in his name. I love him to pieces, don't get me wrong, and those who know him personally probably just eyeroll at this point in life, but I would love to hit my head on the desk over and over again. He's never thought about what my mom needs or wants and he doesn't think what it'll mean for me once he passes, as bad as that sounds. There is nothing I can do or say about his mental state because he's getting help from the VA to buy the house. I know its their life and they can do whatever they want to, but I've watched their issues since I was a baby and I've watched them struggle. They don't want the easy life, or an easier life and seem to enjoy making it more difficult on themselves and love telling me how sad they are Im not there. Which whenever I am, I run around doing everything or trying to keep them out of trouble. Dad honestly needs a leash when we go shopping, so thank GOD I had Ellis last time I went out. This time though I may be going it solo, I hope not but I'll probably cry if I do. Ellis has been a rock in my life since everything here in the UK fell apart and after meeting my family understand why I am the way I am and why little things can bother me so badly >_>; It's just the cards I was delt, so my grandma tells me.
Back to the house though. They don't even know at this point if its a 45 or 60 day escrow, so I'm absolutely useless at this point in time. I like planning. I love things being written down and I can follow plans. :| I'm not a spontaneous sort of person at all so my family is my kryptonite. I'll be flying out in June either early or late and boxing up their things, then organizing the move, then unpacking and getting them settled in. I need to find out if I can meet the neigbours and find anyone they know in the area. Then I have to try cleaning their old apartment to get some funds back, but I get to do it all solo. Well, just me and my 9 year old.
So this has been my life for the last few weeks and only just found out Thursday that "Oh dad put an offer and it's been accepted." I was happier when it was just "We're looking with a realtor, we won't rush to any conclusions."
:/
So I don't know when or how long I'll be in northern CA. I can't rent a car so will borrow theirs, and because I'm completely self employed doing artwork and with no laptop I'm not sure I'll have any sort of income when I go there. -_- I'll try to do traditional art and mail it out or something and hope that can keep me going and try to get as much work done between now and the end of May.
I know theres no point in posting this really, but I guess its a silly look at my life behind a computer screen. X3
I'm not after comments or anyone telling me what they should or shouldnt be doing. I love them both dearly, even if we aren't blood related, they were the only parents I knew growing up.
I just have that feeling where you want to scream into a pillow and not feel like youre doing this alone.
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