yeah almost in the middle of May and I can already say for sure
this month's going to be one hell of a roller coaster of emotions.

to put it bluntly my close family and I have recently found out
one of our relatives, a close relative, has really bad cancer.
we're not sure what's going to be happening in the next
couple of months, to be honest. They're already showing
symptoms and they're declining fast.. It's all so surreal. I guess.

I've never had to deal with like, legit life-threatening
diseases with family or even death. I haven't lost a family
member before and I'm very lucky for that. My whole family
is. To know this is some thing that is in fact happening, whether
it be weeks, months, years until it happens... it's really fucking bizarre.
I am sad. Very sad to hear this. I love them, and I don't want to see them
suffering like this, at such a young age, too.

I'll be moving my shifts around this week and asking coworkers to take
them so I can be with that family member until I fly out to Florida next week.


Speaking of which, I am going to be gone from 22nd - 30th, visiting my boyfriend
and meeting his family and whatnot, which is great. I'm excited for that, and have
been looking forward to this visit since January. Fun things are planned and I'll also
be heading to megacon as well for the first time. No table for me, but as an attendee.
I'll be cosplaying as Frisk that Saturday and maybe some thing else if I have the time to
come up with some thing.


so

yeah sorry for the depressing journal. I just idk. it's a weird thing. for me. sickness and death.