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I would like to apologize
16 years ago
HEllo everyone
Many of the people I want to apologize to may not see this, but here we go anyway
My name is Valereth. Many of you knew me by the name of my old fursona, Vornwrath At the end of last year, and a bit into this year, I did some very assholish things. I called people relentlessly. I circumvented numerous bans and blocks on multiple websites and chat programs, among other things. I am well aware that what I did was wrong, and I am truly sorry. To everyone that I hurt through my actions, I offer my most sincere apologies.
Last year was one of the toughest years of my life. I was jobless for the majority of the year, and, despite job hunting daily, I was not finding anything for a large number of reasons. I have always had trouble confronting people. I am very shy. Interviews are not easy for me. I am always afraid of saying the wrong thing. My hand writing is horrible because I have dysgraphia. There are a number of other reasons. Interview after interview, I got turned down. I asked why, and was told things like "You didn't do anything wrong. You just didn't get the job." Things like this caused stress to constantly build in me. This combined with much more severe circumstances that I wish to keep to myself (a few people know the whole truth. I have told Ruwrak) because they are very personal and hard to discuss with anyone, in private or otherwise, caused stress to basically build to the breaking point., I had what could only be described as a mental breakdown. I couldn't handle it and did so very poorly. I got severely depressed. I was crying nightly. I believe I was having severe panic attacks, and I needed someone to talk to. I would get so depressed that I would become afraid of myself even, which led me to desperately try to get a hold of people, thinking that if I could talk to someone, I would not do something stupid. I know it was stupid. I know it was wrong, and I am sorry. I actually did hurt myself one night. I was told that it looked like I had been scratched up by a cat. It was just.....I couldn't handle it.
I know this is no excuse for things I did, but I felt I should still explain and apologize. Give this one more try. I am so sorry to all of you that I hurt. I really, truly am. If you cannot forgive me, that is fine. I understand. Just know that I am sorry
~val
Many of the people I want to apologize to may not see this, but here we go anyway
My name is Valereth. Many of you knew me by the name of my old fursona, Vornwrath At the end of last year, and a bit into this year, I did some very assholish things. I called people relentlessly. I circumvented numerous bans and blocks on multiple websites and chat programs, among other things. I am well aware that what I did was wrong, and I am truly sorry. To everyone that I hurt through my actions, I offer my most sincere apologies.
Last year was one of the toughest years of my life. I was jobless for the majority of the year, and, despite job hunting daily, I was not finding anything for a large number of reasons. I have always had trouble confronting people. I am very shy. Interviews are not easy for me. I am always afraid of saying the wrong thing. My hand writing is horrible because I have dysgraphia. There are a number of other reasons. Interview after interview, I got turned down. I asked why, and was told things like "You didn't do anything wrong. You just didn't get the job." Things like this caused stress to constantly build in me. This combined with much more severe circumstances that I wish to keep to myself (a few people know the whole truth. I have told Ruwrak) because they are very personal and hard to discuss with anyone, in private or otherwise, caused stress to basically build to the breaking point., I had what could only be described as a mental breakdown. I couldn't handle it and did so very poorly. I got severely depressed. I was crying nightly. I believe I was having severe panic attacks, and I needed someone to talk to. I would get so depressed that I would become afraid of myself even, which led me to desperately try to get a hold of people, thinking that if I could talk to someone, I would not do something stupid. I know it was stupid. I know it was wrong, and I am sorry. I actually did hurt myself one night. I was told that it looked like I had been scratched up by a cat. It was just.....I couldn't handle it.
I know this is no excuse for things I did, but I felt I should still explain and apologize. Give this one more try. I am so sorry to all of you that I hurt. I really, truly am. If you cannot forgive me, that is fine. I understand. Just know that I am sorry
~val
I've done that more than a few times
But I'm not lashing out now am I?
It's a start.
I just don't want to get to close. Your reputation influences that.
I don't feel comfortable beeing around someone that hurt alot of people.
But not here to bitch. Hope you respect the distance I keep from you.
This is all I'm going to say to you.
While I may accept your apology for how you talked to me, there is NO apology you could ever come up with in this universe that I will accept for how you treated Ari and the emotional pain and stress you put her through, and the resulting pain and stress I received from watching her cry on webcam because of you constantly bothering her. You don't know how painful it is to see someone physically cry on webcam and figure out why they're crying, but being unable to help them at all because of the distance.
Now, because of that statement, I will make the following notes.
1. Just because I accepted half an apology does not mean we are "buddy-buddy" or even friends. I will make it clear that we will never, and I mean NEVER be friends.
2. Just because I accepted half an apology does not mean I am willing to talk to you again, so please refrain from IMing me with your multitude of screennames, because you will still be blocked upon contact.
3. On top of leaving me alone, please refrain from contacting Ari as well.
If you can prove that you've indeed changed by your interactions with others, I just might talk to you again after several months. When will that time be? I don't know. However, contacting me at any point before I am willing to let you have that privilege will just delay it much further or even take it away altogether. Just keep in mind that talking does not equal instant friendship.
[end of message]
I still believe him and I could be friends. I see no reason why we couldn't be
Sometimes you can't repair your relationship to a person. This is one of those cases.
This would be one of those people you gotta let go, there is zilch chance on becoming friends again.
You may know what it's like to see someone cry, but do you know what it's like to see the one you love cry because a certain someone just doesn't know when to take "leave me alone" as an answer and continues to bother them? Most likely not.
And trust me, we won't be friends. I refuse to be friends with someone who has caused so much grief to my love.
[end of message]
So yeah, take it from me, there is no chance. Relax there will be other people who do want to be your friend along the way. You just need to shed of those who you get into arguments constantly with. Other people might be better friends. Set sail for new horizons, meet other people. People who do want to be your friend.
You can't cling on to everyone, you gotta let go before you can meet new people. People who will accept you for what you are and have not heard of your reputation. A fresh start so to say.
Really sucks to hear about all the bad shit happening to you, especially since you don't deserve it. I hope things start to turn around for you, really soon.
That being said, you don't have to accept my apology. I apologize anyway.
I block you and then you go writing on my
Also, what is the point of faving my pics everytime I block you? For the last time, stop that! Stop watching me, and do not even watch my other account.
And I will calm down, when you remove the watch on me.
Just do me a favor and stop watching. That will be the best you do for me.
Is this proof enough?
Now, seriously, STOP WATCHING!
Now, seriously, GET TO KNOW ME AND REALIZE THAT I AM NOT SO BAD. Be my friend. I like your art. I watch you because I like your art
Your loss *shrug* Imma leave you on watch though
That's why I do not want to deal with you, I had enought that time. Tried to be nice, but you were just annoying.
REMOVE THE WATCH!
I barely know you -perhaps not even 'barely'- so I'm clearly not one of those people, but if I were, I would apreciate the gesture. Sure, it won't be easy and for some it won't be enough, but if you have a problem confronting people, it also could be a good way to start.
The best of luck for you.
I don't want to say things like "it's OK" without knowing what you did to offend these people -and you don't have to tell me either, I know that-, but I feel that as long as you keep your conscience clear, everything else should be pretty much fine.
And take care: that means no more hurting yourself! >:O
Seriously, take care.
Your apology isn't accepted. Please, leave me and the people I care about alone. Refrain from posting on
Also, please stop texting me. I have asked you this numerous times before.
-Mestopho
You are welcome to not accept my apology if you wish, and he doesn't not like me either because him and I have never spoken before :)
Don't assume things. No one that I care about will ever like you.
I never staled anyone soi he doesn't like or dislike me
You. Stalked. Me. End of story. You -STILL- text me, after numerous times of me asking you not to. You -STILL- read my journals, obviously, after I asked you not to. You -STILL- respond to my twitters, after I ask you not to. You -STILL- try to contact me after offending myself and my previous fiancee and telling me how dumb, stupid, and close-minded I am. I'm done with this, and I'm done with you. Cease and desist Joshua Barber. I do not wish to be contacted by you ever again. And again, please leave my boyfriend alone. He will be noting TSA to be put on the "Vorn needs to leave me alone" list when he gets off work.
Good day.
P.S. I'm not acting the same.
The only way you could know that there is someone named hornetv2 on my watched list is if you stalk my page
and FYI i didnt stalk your page. I was told about the journal.
Nice? I do not see you using a nice tone to me since I do not like PS. Man! You are just impossible. I feel dumb by keep talking to you.
REMOVE THE WATCH!
and foxhound started disliking you because of your constant pestering of his friends.
I am following the rules
Foxhound has no reason to not like me
Everyone is hip to your game Josh.