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My mind is slipping again.
9 years ago
First of all, this isn't something I really expect any sort of comment on. In fact, I chose to write this here because it is the least likely place that anyone will actually read it, let alone respond to it/comment on it. Hell, I've written just under two dozen journals, none of which have a single comment, as far as I can remember anyways, some of them were written five years ago after all. I'm mostly just putting this here as a sort of vent, to get the things in my head out into the world somewhere(but hey, if you want to leave a comment, I won't stop you.)
Now that I have that out of the way, to the issue at hand. I am an extreme introvert, to the point that I tend to avoid interacting with members of my own family, just because I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm about to turn 32 in about 2 weeks, and I am currently unemployed and receiving benefits from social security disability. I'm on Social Security because my social anxiety prevents me from being able to effectively interact with people in normal conversation, let alone be able to handle even the idea of going to an interview. The extreme isolation that this has placed on me is not fun, and has not been easy.
Next, I have lost a lot of motivation recently. To the point that I have not touched, or even really thought about my stories in about a month. It's not that I don't want to write, it's that I can't focus on actually writing. I barely even leave my room. I'm in my room for about a total of 20 or so hours a day. I don't really exercise. I almost never leave the house, and when I do, it's almost exclusively to buy alcohol on Friday.
Let's just say that having all of that weighing on your mind isn't fun. In fact, it's exhausting at best, and extremely depressing at worst. I guess I just need someone in my life. Someone I can talk to, confide in, and all around spend my life with. But, it's really hard just to meet that person, when you can barely be bothered to interact with people you know, let alone people you've never met. I don't know, the mind is a terrible thing to taste. I just hope my mind will be able to avoid going into a super dark place that I never want to go back to.
In any event, take these almost incoherent ramblings as you will. I guess all I really have left to say is good luck, and I'll see you guys around(even if you don't necessarily see me.) Until then, Here's some Chrono Trigger songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYQoai5jfB0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7tZVc8YSDY
Now that I have that out of the way, to the issue at hand. I am an extreme introvert, to the point that I tend to avoid interacting with members of my own family, just because I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm about to turn 32 in about 2 weeks, and I am currently unemployed and receiving benefits from social security disability. I'm on Social Security because my social anxiety prevents me from being able to effectively interact with people in normal conversation, let alone be able to handle even the idea of going to an interview. The extreme isolation that this has placed on me is not fun, and has not been easy.
Next, I have lost a lot of motivation recently. To the point that I have not touched, or even really thought about my stories in about a month. It's not that I don't want to write, it's that I can't focus on actually writing. I barely even leave my room. I'm in my room for about a total of 20 or so hours a day. I don't really exercise. I almost never leave the house, and when I do, it's almost exclusively to buy alcohol on Friday.
Let's just say that having all of that weighing on your mind isn't fun. In fact, it's exhausting at best, and extremely depressing at worst. I guess I just need someone in my life. Someone I can talk to, confide in, and all around spend my life with. But, it's really hard just to meet that person, when you can barely be bothered to interact with people you know, let alone people you've never met. I don't know, the mind is a terrible thing to taste. I just hope my mind will be able to avoid going into a super dark place that I never want to go back to.
In any event, take these almost incoherent ramblings as you will. I guess all I really have left to say is good luck, and I'll see you guys around(even if you don't necessarily see me.) Until then, Here's some Chrono Trigger songs.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYQoai5jfB0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7tZVc8YSDY
