I was always hesitant to come out to my dad about my sexuality and my relationship, but I told him a while ago and was surprised at his welcoming reaction. Now that I look back on it, I can see it wasn't so positive. He said something to me back then that I didn't really think about, he told me that it was probably a good thing that my partner and I couldn't have kids after all. I know exactly what he meant by that, and recently he made some comments that reaffirmed his archaic views. Point is, I thought that knowing about me might soften him, but it really doesn't seem to. In fact, I'd say it has had the opposite effect.

He now regurgitates talking points that sound exactly like something you'd hear on Fox News or some far right-wing website, essentially forcing me to emotionally distance myself from him. I have to, because I know I'm going to get hurt more otherwise. Several family members on his side share the same opinions, so its not as if his views are an outlier. I feel like I'm never going to be accepted by him now, even though I know he loves me to death. But all the love in the world won't cover up the fact that he thinks my relationship is deviant and wrong, and that hurts me more than it probably should.

I know now that he probably will not be coming to our wedding, and its likely that a lot of my other family won't either. But I'm not changing who I am; I wouldn't alter anything about myself even if he disowned me. There is nothing wrong with loving someone of the same gender, not even family can make me feel ashamed of that. Keep being yourself, don't doubt who you really are, and do not be afraid to open up.

I wrote this to try and reach out to others who might be having a similar problem with their family, or are having doubts about coming out to those who are close to them. I've been with my fiance for over four years now, and I've never been happier in my life. I'm lucky that I live in a point in history, and even the right country, where I can safely express my opinion without having to worry about resulting verbal/physical abuse or even death. We have come so far, but we still have so much work to do in battling inequality. The truth is what we owe ourselves in the end, when we can look in a mirror and know that we are no longer lying to ourselves or others about who we really are. Let this be what instills a sense of pride in you.