Have you ever gotten writer's block just trying to post a journal? That's what's happening to me now.

I don't even know what I want to say other than I'm still around. I just haven't touched FA much for a while. Haven't wanted to. I even have new art, but I honestly felt like shit for a long time after BLFC this year, which I kept mostly to myself, so in addition to leaving a few Telegram groups, I lost any motivation I had to bother with FA. I have a Furry Network page, but I haven't done anything with it for the same reason. The only site I'm actually active on is Twitter.

In all honesty, I've been feeling pretty lonely lately. Makes total sense for me to withdraw and limit my avenues of communication in such a case, right? But I'm finding that in general, the more people I try to connect with online, the more frustrated I get that I can't see them in person. I hate having so many friends I can't hang out with, and I think that makes me feel more isolated than just not talking to anyone. Then I think of the people I might be neglecting and feel like a bad person for doing so. THEN I think of how many people could just as easily reach out to me, but don't, and... I feel worthless, because obviously I'm not worth their time to do so. I guess I'm just not that interesting. But then... how many of them might be experiencing what I am? It's easiest to just withdraw and distract myself with things like work and pointless hobbies.

I don't know why I feel compelled to spill my guts on FA instead of talking to someone. Maybe it's because it's easier to just offload this *somewhere* and not have to worry about burdening anyone specific with it.

Welp, back to the shadows I go...