So.. Yeah. I like being masochist sometimes, but it also kinda sucks.
I don't like that I get really turned on while at the same time being extremely jealous of the situation. And I get jealous easily. And it's not the fun cuckold thing. I don't enjoy seeing a crush of mine getting fucked or playing around with another, but it turns me on when it happens and it's so bad that I feel like if I don't masturbate that bone will never go away. It's like.. Angry masturbation ._. Weird. And I don't like it. Basically an example would be seeing my crush rub her foot on another guy's crotch (Yes. I have a foot fetish, in case you didn't know) and then I am overly jealous and more aroused than I'd normally get and then I need to masturbate somewhere else later. The thought will run in my head until I do. And then it's like "Why wont she do that kinda thing with me?" While masturbating hard. I usually end up orgasm quicker than I normally would too. Way quicker. Like Damn. Record breaking. It's borderline cuckolding fetish and I hate that trait more than anything. Mainly because I hate being jealous.
I don't like that I can be in an argument with someone I like and then get turned on during it. They are being completely hateful and it hurts me, yet I'm turned on. I can be mad as hell and at the same time, think "I wanna fuck you."
I don't like that regular sex does literally nothing for me. It's like I need pain in my life to even wanna fuck. But if I'm offered sex, then it's "Meh. We can try,I guess" And I end up bored as hell and usually finding it difficult to even keep a hard on unless they take up being dominant with me.
I don't like that I could be turned on by someone who hates me. Like... they could insult me all the time and I can even get mad about it, but for some reason, it also attracts me. (Not always, but a good majority of the time)
Basically, being a masochist can be really fun for me, but these things here make me not so much like being one. But to explain each paragraph more simply.
1. I do not have a cuckold fetish. Even if I do, I don't enjoy it. Even if I'm enjoying it sexually, I am not enjoying it mentally. I will get mad. I will get upset. I will hold it against you if you try to do this with me on purpose. (And yes. People have tried)
2. No. I do not try to get into arguments just so I can get off to it.
3. Nothing really so say for this one. Sorry n shit. Sex just doesn't turn me on like that.
4. If you hate me, be careful when you insult me. You could be turning me on and I just wont show it. Lol. This doesn't always happen, but it does happen often. And I just.. Don't mention it.