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Good News Everyone!
9 years ago
/Futurama Voice/
GOOD NEWS EVERYONE.
(This is fairly boring and focused around my life so if that isn't your thing no need to read)
I'll likely delete this in a few days, I just want a moment to celebrate in a ranty fashion.
It may not be known by all of you, though it is listed on my profile, that I am chronically ill
(or as I like to say it, a "Professional Sick Person" -- credit to The Fault In Our Stars)
I am not really one to talk about it because I don't like being hit with pity or negative stigma because of it.
Judgement is just never fun.
But this is good news, actual good news that affects my art in a great way, so I wanted to announce it here.
The Sad Part
I have multiple diagnoses and countless symptoms. It's dictated my life since I was in high school after a bad surgery and we've been chasing around cures and treatments since. I've been diagnosed with a ton of different thing -- everything without any fix. No meds ever really worked on me, even just to calm things down. I have one that's kept me alive, which is good, but other than that it's been pretty sucky on the physical level.
I'm a college drop out because of it. I was heading to be valedictorian in high school before it hit me. I went into pre-medical in college before having to quit because I couldn't physical survive the strain of it all. Later it took my ability to walk unassisted and my ability to even laugh or cry due to a severe allergic reaction that happened whenever friction happened, even just from talking too much. The list goes on and on, it's absolutely insane. I really thought I was dying and the cluelessness around it all from every doctor only made it worse.
Basically, it sucked. I was full blown disabled and crippled, and always getting worse.
No one had any answers, just things to sort of numb you up which was really only to escape the pain in trade for being really foggy brained.
The Awesome Part
Part of being a "Professional Sick Person" is having to go to a ton of doctors appointments. Since no one really knows what's happening and I have symptoms all over the place, I see a LOT of different doctors. I went to one to check my hormone levels / endocrine system functions (primarily thyroid) and as I was listing my symptoms my doctor stopped me and told me that he was going to cure me.
I actually flat out laughed at him. I had been seeing doctor after doctor for six years, sometimes up to 8 in a single week. I had taken every drug out there to help to little success and had really resigned to being sick and disabled for the rest of my life, which was beginning to look shorter and shorter by the day. But he handed me a study that had been done with a bunch of my seemingly unconnected symptoms listed on them and how they can be fixed, easily.
I won't get into the specifics of what is happening with my body, as it's still complicated to explain without getting into the functions of individual cell organelles, but basically he told me my cells sucked at transporting, absorbing, keeping out, etc. chemicals. Imagine it like trying to mail thousands of boxes of beads all over the world but there are holes in all the boxes that leak beads and let in other things, like water. It's a fucking mess that tips over so many dominos into other issues.
Not a single part of me believed it was possible, but he was intelligent. I followed the medical jargon that I had become literate in between college biology, a love for Crash Course on Youtube, and learning my own illness, and what he said did make sense, but I had been let down so many times it was hard to have hope. It was one pill to take every morning, and he said it would work day one, so I figured I'd try it just to give all the work he put into the study some credit, and a bit out of general respect for him as a doctor. It was also a medication I knew a bit about, but hadn't been on, and I knew it didn't have any lasting affects beyond 24 hours in the event it didn't work.
Got the medication, sung myself a little motivational song, and took the pill.It only took two hours to work.
I felt dizzy, and a little hyper -- as is a common side effect, but I realized that I couldn't feel feel backbone, in a good way. It didn't hurt and ache like it had without end for the last six years. I was a little amused, I thought maybe it was working like a pain killer. But when I inevitably stood I realized I didn't wobble. I stood up straight. Nothing hurt. Nothing itched. I didn't feel like I was walking on a balance beam. I could just stand plain and simple.
Daring, I took a breath and decided to do the one thing I hadn't done at all since the illness attacked my mobility.
I jumped.
Just plain and simple, both feet off the ground. And I landed, without falling, without pain, on both feet.
Now to you, that may seem normal, but as someone who needs a wheelchair whenever they are going to walk further than a block without sitting, it was a borderline miracle.
I won't lie, I cried. I thought I was dreaming. I walked down the stairs, very scared at first. I didn't bring my cane, but took them clinging to the railing. One by one I went, faster until I was running, and I kept running. Through the house, in the front yard, and around the block. It had been five years since I had been able to do it. My legs felt weak from lack of use, but I could do it. It was physically possible.It is now day three. I have gone swimming twice, once at a small party where I rolled around in grass and left my cane leaning against the house, untouched. I sat up for three hours playing Overwatch (Mercy forever), before only able to sit up for an hour at a time without taking a ton of pain killers or (prescribed) narcotics. I wore a bathing suit and didn't need to take anti-histamines to prevent myself from breaking out in hives from the pressure of the fabric. I didn't need to take a nap. I didn't need to lay or sit down. I was great.
Now the down side is it lasted for 8 hours, so by the end of the nights I am aching and stiff again, but even that is to a lesser degree than usual. We'll be adjusting the dosage as time goes on to get everything right. This is the lowest dose, and already it's astounding.
I have found myself a cure; a life.
The Reason I'm Actually Telling You This
Now here's the part that actually matters. Typically I can only draw for 4-6 hours a day at maximum, and typically it's only about 2 hours. With this, I can draw a whole lot more. I don't have to stop to rest my back or because my brain got fuzzy from pain killers. So I'm going to be drawing a whole lot more often.
I'm also in much better spirits, which boosts my creativity -- thus more art.
And the best part --
I am still disabled, for mental issues alone I will be for a while (which is not "the best part," that's further down-- it's awful, mental illness is not a fun thing, ever.). I expect to be receiving some government help soon as I've already been approved for the mental half, just working on financials and appeals now. I cannot work, which sucks, but I understand it.
My therapy to become well enough for the workplace, ignoring the physical has roughly 4-9 years left in it where I will need the government to support my living.
That's 4-9 years to learn to draw. To develop a website, a webcomic, a patreon, a video game, a company.
(Fiance is a video game designer, so we plan on working together)
That's 4-9 years I have on reserve to do what I have always dreamed of doing for a living, what I thought I would never have the chance to do.
By then, I will be a full time artist who can support themselves.
I have a full pathway for me now to succeed at this.
To learn.
To improve.
To specialize.
To develop an art style.
To draw.
To create.
And I assure you, I will succeed.
And The One Bad Thing
Completely aside from that, my computer that I draw on just broke. Simple issue -- charger won't connect to computer (can't tell if it's the computer or the charger that is broken). So there will be some delay in my work because of that, but it's likely a very fast fix. A week of slower work and no ability to work and respond on weekends (using other computer with older photoshop) at the worst.Cheers
-- Lixy
I'm so happy you can finally get on with your life and be a normal person sweetie. I hope now you finally have the chance to go on and become absolutely amazing ≤333
It's been a wild ride but the way I like to look at it is that I've been through hell, so karma has a lot in stored for me with good news.
I have a wonderful fiance and a future that can work and will make me extremely happy.
Even if things sucked in the beginning, they're going to get better now.
Now to fix my brain :P