FA+
Shop
Life is quite the roller coaster right now, and I hate it.
9 years ago
So I know a few people saw me vent about how I felt like a nuisance and that I felt pushed away.
Today just confirmed this.
After coming home and trying out a few games from the Steam sale I bought, my family sat on our little patio and relaxed. It was quite nice.
Then my step-dad dropped the bomb on my brother and I that my mom apparently has some lump near her chest and didn't plan to tell us. So the idea of either a tumor, a cancer forming, or even something from the result of stress started floating around in my mind. Not only this, but they argued quite loudly after. I swear this entire subdivision probably heard the argument.
My brother and I got out of the feud and proceeded to the track field, to walk and get our mind off things. Then I see my mom pulled up in her car with our dogs in it. She wanted me to sit with her, and it was an awkward silence.
Flash forward 15 minutes later, we head back to the house. My brother and I start heading into the house, and I see my mom grab two duffle bags out of her car.
She was initially planning on leaving for the night, to our grandparents to get away from the house. My parents do argue sometimes, but with the house being renovated, as well as a new barn being built, they have been quite on the edge with their emotions.
I just felt frozen in time for a bit when I saw all this going down in the house today. Yeah sure, families argue and not everything is perfect all the time. Today was just... a wake up call.
Sorry for more venting. I am laying down on my couch/bed right now and I can't sleep at all from all this. I have to get out of here.
For those who read this, thank you. I feel bad talking about this stuff, as I do find it VERY personal. I don't really have anyone else to talk to however. I was planning on drawing tonight, but with everything that has happened... I've lost the motivation to do anything tonight.
Some of you probably think I'm just being dramatic. Honestly, I'm not. This is my life. If you don't want to read it, you are not obligated to.
Just know that throughout all of this, I will always be here. If anyone ever needs to talk, needs advice, or simple wants to chat.
Today just confirmed this.
After coming home and trying out a few games from the Steam sale I bought, my family sat on our little patio and relaxed. It was quite nice.
Then my step-dad dropped the bomb on my brother and I that my mom apparently has some lump near her chest and didn't plan to tell us. So the idea of either a tumor, a cancer forming, or even something from the result of stress started floating around in my mind. Not only this, but they argued quite loudly after. I swear this entire subdivision probably heard the argument.
My brother and I got out of the feud and proceeded to the track field, to walk and get our mind off things. Then I see my mom pulled up in her car with our dogs in it. She wanted me to sit with her, and it was an awkward silence.
Flash forward 15 minutes later, we head back to the house. My brother and I start heading into the house, and I see my mom grab two duffle bags out of her car.
She was initially planning on leaving for the night, to our grandparents to get away from the house. My parents do argue sometimes, but with the house being renovated, as well as a new barn being built, they have been quite on the edge with their emotions.
I just felt frozen in time for a bit when I saw all this going down in the house today. Yeah sure, families argue and not everything is perfect all the time. Today was just... a wake up call.
Sorry for more venting. I am laying down on my couch/bed right now and I can't sleep at all from all this. I have to get out of here.
For those who read this, thank you. I feel bad talking about this stuff, as I do find it VERY personal. I don't really have anyone else to talk to however. I was planning on drawing tonight, but with everything that has happened... I've lost the motivation to do anything tonight.
Some of you probably think I'm just being dramatic. Honestly, I'm not. This is my life. If you don't want to read it, you are not obligated to.
Just know that throughout all of this, I will always be here. If anyone ever needs to talk, needs advice, or simple wants to chat.
Family issues are always hard to deal with, I don't think you're being dramatic. I remember when my parent's broke up and my dad moved out, I thought my world was ending but I realised that my parents were people too and they need to find their own happiness and what they were going through was probably a lot worse than the effect it had on me. Not that that can help you in this situation.
I hope your mum is okay, I understand why she wouldn't want to tell you. When you care about someone so much, you don't want them to needlessly worry, it breaks your heart to see their smiles falter and become so focused on what might happen instead of focusing on what IS happening. People are emotional things and emotions sometimes do more harm than good in bad circumstances. I'd try to show your mother that you're there for her, she's probably scared, even if she doesn't want to show it. She may already know you're there for her, but sometimes we need a little extra push to remind us just how much people care.
Writing down something personal like this is very brave of you, and I hope you feel a little better after writing this. I know it helps me :3.
No one likes to see their parents fight, whatever the reason may be. My parents are divorced, so I've known how it feels from my childhood. However, I can't say I know what it feels like to have your parent under such illness. It's happened with my grandmother and grandfather before (bless them,) but not my parents. I can relate to what you're feeling right now, pal. This is a bumpy road you're on right now, but you don't have to walk it alone. Not while I'm here for you .