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Self Realization about the Bal'Kar
9 years ago
(¯`·._.·(¯`·._.· One with the Hive ·._.·´¯)·._.·´¯) It is a creature within me that knows great knowledge... too much knowledge for me to learn in 1 human lifetime. We might as well call it (Light)
But it is also has a great evil, a darkness that i cannot see from whence it came. It is a creature with incredible lust. So much lust its scarily dangerous for the "human me" to delve too deep into.
I must be extremely careful my creation does not consume too much lust at once. In turn, it will most definitely make me consume myself in the process.
I must maintain its balance at all costs.
I'm not suicidal over that fact. Ive come to terms with it and realized...
The pathway that stretches between its monstrous darkness, and its blinding light are soo damn far apart...
That my own lifespan will possibly not be long enough to go after it in this human lifetime of mine.
Ive seen it though my own visions.
For its hive mentality to exist, i would most likely need to unify the world we live in first... A task...... WAAY too big for me to bare by myself. it is possible... but the work involved is beyond imagining...It's time to face the facts.
SO!
Instead i will use the Bal'Kar as my own deity in this timeline to keep me energized, posetive, balanced and sharply focused on my own realistic small stepping stones in life.
~
Admittedly i have not been in the best mindset in the last 6 months but i know its just fear of loosing a Future ive already set in motion.
To move to Canada and be with my Gola.
Ive spoken to many people of the last few months...all have helped me make life changing decisions.
For all of you in the Bal'Kar hive... You all know who you are!
From the bottom of my heart....Thank you for your Support.
But it is also has a great evil, a darkness that i cannot see from whence it came. It is a creature with incredible lust. So much lust its scarily dangerous for the "human me" to delve too deep into.
I must be extremely careful my creation does not consume too much lust at once. In turn, it will most definitely make me consume myself in the process.
I must maintain its balance at all costs.
I'm not suicidal over that fact. Ive come to terms with it and realized...
The pathway that stretches between its monstrous darkness, and its blinding light are soo damn far apart...
That my own lifespan will possibly not be long enough to go after it in this human lifetime of mine.
Ive seen it though my own visions.
For its hive mentality to exist, i would most likely need to unify the world we live in first... A task...... WAAY too big for me to bare by myself. it is possible... but the work involved is beyond imagining...It's time to face the facts.
SO!
Instead i will use the Bal'Kar as my own deity in this timeline to keep me energized, posetive, balanced and sharply focused on my own realistic small stepping stones in life.
~
Admittedly i have not been in the best mindset in the last 6 months but i know its just fear of loosing a Future ive already set in motion.
To move to Canada and be with my Gola.
Ive spoken to many people of the last few months...all have helped me make life changing decisions.
For all of you in the Bal'Kar hive... You all know who you are!
From the bottom of my heart....Thank you for your Support.
Glory be to the Bal'kar :3
Light begins when darkness explodes.
https://www.facebook.com/benji.smar.....3437566444772? this video centres around the topic, and i feel my post clears it into one.
The Bal'Kar is something i hold close to my heart...so close it might as well be part of me and who i am...he effects my Decisions in the real world too and i must be able to keep a level head around balancing its fantasy around my Reality.
This is also something for others to read because they too might be going through the same thing and i beleive it could help them understand their "monsters" (fears) a bit more.
If not...well...okay then thats fine too!
For example, imagine an actor loved a role of a fictitious character so much. They wanted to become that character-- even if that character had an unhealthy mindset or possessed hazardous desires. What is real and what is fiction must be kept realistically separate, otherwise we risk harming ourselves, someone else, or losing sight of who we really are.