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I really have to apologize
9 years ago
*Commissions are now offered through journals! Keep a lookout for them!*
|| Trello| TOS |Business HRS/Schedule || AC and last week, I felt like total crap and just... I lost all my motivation to do anything at all. I snapped. I shut down and went into a state of drifting along, unable to feel anything.
So I really apologize for not doing any fursuit work, no commission work, nothing. I'm beyond stressed out. I felt like I haven't done anything with my life, I felt like a total failure, I felt like my existence was completely stagnant and static. Just a one off connection that could easily be cut away if I didn't exist. I felt like I haven't done enough, I couldn't do enough, I simply couldn't feel productive and didn't feel I've produced or helped with anything.
I'm still really struggling. I'm doing my best to push past this. I've just never felt this broken before.
Please bare with me. I'm really sorry that my personal issues have impacted me so much I've just dropped all of my inspiration, my passion, everything. I've lost sight of it. I'm doing so much, I gave myself so much to try to make people happy, to keep them happy, that I've forgotten how degraded I've truly gotten. I gave so many pieces of myself, that I've forgotten how much was too much. I've lost it. I've lost myself. I absolutely hate that I've done this to myself.
I'm doing my best to come back. I'm really sorry for sounding like a broken record (if I seem so), but I'm absolutely broken up right now. I'll do my best to fullfill what I promised with my commissions. Once I finish what I've accumulated. There's going to be some changes around here. I can't keep doing this to myself. I need a change so I can be happier with where I'm going and where I want to be. I just need so much support so I can get there.
I hope you understand. I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry I haven't gotten commissions done as fast as I want them to. I'm so incredibly sorry. I don't want to be that kind of artist that takes peoples money and runs without doing the work. It's not me. I can't do that. I'm trying really hard to do them, but I need myself back too. I'm tired of crying.
Forgive me. I'm so sorry.
So I really apologize for not doing any fursuit work, no commission work, nothing. I'm beyond stressed out. I felt like I haven't done anything with my life, I felt like a total failure, I felt like my existence was completely stagnant and static. Just a one off connection that could easily be cut away if I didn't exist. I felt like I haven't done enough, I couldn't do enough, I simply couldn't feel productive and didn't feel I've produced or helped with anything.
I'm still really struggling. I'm doing my best to push past this. I've just never felt this broken before.
Please bare with me. I'm really sorry that my personal issues have impacted me so much I've just dropped all of my inspiration, my passion, everything. I've lost sight of it. I'm doing so much, I gave myself so much to try to make people happy, to keep them happy, that I've forgotten how degraded I've truly gotten. I gave so many pieces of myself, that I've forgotten how much was too much. I've lost it. I've lost myself. I absolutely hate that I've done this to myself.
I'm doing my best to come back. I'm really sorry for sounding like a broken record (if I seem so), but I'm absolutely broken up right now. I'll do my best to fullfill what I promised with my commissions. Once I finish what I've accumulated. There's going to be some changes around here. I can't keep doing this to myself. I need a change so I can be happier with where I'm going and where I want to be. I just need so much support so I can get there.
I hope you understand. I'm really sorry. I'm so sorry I haven't gotten commissions done as fast as I want them to. I'm so incredibly sorry. I don't want to be that kind of artist that takes peoples money and runs without doing the work. It's not me. I can't do that. I'm trying really hard to do them, but I need myself back too. I'm tired of crying.
Forgive me. I'm so sorry.
But sometimes life throws us curveballs that shatters our reality. Out of no-where, it tells us that things need to change, and that we need to find a way to change and stay flexible. This can be be heartbreaking, horrifying and scary as hell. But there is a good bet you will pull through it; there's truly a light at the end of the tunnel and sunshine beyond the storms. Sometimes it takes our friends and family to help us get through it, and contrary to what society tells us, this is totally okay.
Please be well, and take care of yourself! I know I'm still mostly a stranger in the Dutch Angel group, but if you need a stranger to yammer at, feel free. :)
"beyound the darkest moment comes the brightest dawn"... .."behind the fiercerst storm, sunshine still glows, up high, sure to follow the storm after it washes the world"....maybe silly sounding.. maybe true.. yet, in kind, I know you with get through.. stronger.. brighter.. soon enough..May you heal at heart and spirit.. take your time
You are hardly without worth, or a failure.. Your art is beautifull and - I am certain - a lightbringer to many.. you mean something.. you are a marvelous creature..
The self is most important.. heal.. dream.. find your muse again.. then.. then art again.. for yourself.. or for others..
Peace and harmony...