To RP, or not to RP...that has been my question for some time now. I obviously want to roleplay more than just about anything these days. But my concerns seem bigger than what they should be. I've started countless RPs with lots of friends I've made. I've made over 50 friends at least who roleplay. And of those peeps I've role played with...all the ones I've loved...there were so many...of all
I've done...here's the number of remaining roleplayers in the end as of right now...

1-8. Somewhere in between that (or around there). Either the other person stops an RP altogether and doesn't RP with me anymore, or they become inactive or they just seem to...ignore me. That's how feel anyways...of course, Google+ status is unknown and the numbers vary all the time.

But seriously, I think my dA friends have forgotten me...Serebii is practically dead to me now...and I just can't bring myself back to DarkSpyro.net...FA lacks the interface that I need to enjoy it, and it just sucks the Internet data up so I can't use it at home as much as I want to.

There isn't any other site I can find. Nothing else works. Skype does NOT count, since it's an IM. I need a place I can share my work of Vore stories...and I guess my OCs...

If I were to be honest with you guys... (Like anyone will see this) I'd say I could possibly shut down my online activity and disappear from the Internet. And no one may care. Of course, one possible reason for this is cause my parents make me feel so restricted. Nevertheless, I think no one would seem to notice. I'm offline for such long periods of time, that peeps will think I just "don't have the Internet". I feel...so insignificant...and sometimes I feel as if I irritate others. I'm just not sure of myself these days...

If anyone who reads this can actually help (which I highly doubt, judging by the only ones who ever comments on my stuff), maybe...I don't know...something to cheer me up? Cuz as of right now, I feel as if Skype will not be my "place" if I were to get Straight Talk Wireless. Yes. That means I may give up unlimited internet data. Yes! Skype will be my home if I get straight talk wireless! So without replies coming, Skype will become useless, thus, making Straight Talk Wireless being useful only for Netflix and YouTube on a small screen.

So if I feel that having unlimited internet data would feel useless as of now...then something MUST be wrong with me. Someone cheer me up...I think I'm willing to take just about anything...just keep it SFW please.............I think dA would be just...pointless. Worthless. Despite the fact that peeps I know may or may not be active on there and nowhere else. Why? Because I don't mean anything to anyone. Because I'm nothing but a phantom on there now. A user who swears he'll get back on, but never will. I have been long forgotten...never to truly be able to enjoy art ever again. Fan art will just hit me back into my first and only summer on dA. Commenting on the fan art and making connections...the thing that truly got me hooked onto dA. And then my whole Vore fetish took over and now...oh what do I care? I'll always just me a little invisible user I was meant to be...my Vore fetish has caused me to do some odd things...but sometimes I feel it doesn't matter cause no one will notice. I feel like a ghost. I'm noticed only in the real world and not really online...

I think I made my best effort guys. But there's no way I'll ever be known for anything. I tried smiling no matter what...but I can't seem to do so anymore. I've always bounced back and out of my "sulking" times. But still, my issues are stuck to me like glue, leaving me to my sulking and complaining of the world.


"Oh look! A new internet service provider! They made a mistake! BECOMING AN INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER!"

"Why don't we just use Netflix- oh. That's right."

"So much for, "Better Matters" Verizion."

"I'll google sear- oh. That's right."

Just a few things I've said ever since Internet access has been a problem for me. I've been complaining rather than stating opinions because why? I can't make opinions if none of the Internet service providers are PROVIDING ME WITH SERVICE! So I just make fun of them all. I'll just complain! It's not like anyone will know or even care!

That's what I've been up to when I'm offline. Making fun of everything and complaining about it. *kicks a can at a dA billboard*

I don't see how anyone can stand my whining...so I can see why everyone pretends to not notice me. No one seems to help. Talking about it is not making me feel any better. No true friends...I just wanna...I can't bottle up my tears any longer! There! I cry, but I don't have anyone to cry to. I can only cry into a pillow...

I can't take this anymore! I wait as patiently as I possibly can, and I'm excited to get some internet so I can reply and RP. And I finally get some internet and check on replies...just to be let down turned down! It's happened way to many times now! I really can't seem to rely on anyone but the very few who are still RPing with me to this day. But my problem is...it just...isn't...enough...

I feel as if this journal was a wasted effort.

*is in a begging motion, whining and howling sorrowful tunes*