While I was being lazy and procrastinating on writing this, I found myself wondering what it would take for me to finally get my shit together and actually DO the con report. Apparently that thing was flying to Denver for RMFC. I’d really hate for these things to start piling up, so yeah, let’s talk Anthrocon real quick. I got a text from Archai on Wednesday asking when I was going to arrive at the con. I was already there at the time, so I guess you could say I was pretty excited about this one. This was my first time ever arriving so early, but if there were a con wherein I could actually make just hanging out and socializing for a couple entire days work, this would be it. AC has always been my home con even though it’s a substantial drive away, mainly because it has my people. Most other cons it’s tough to find people I know, but at this one I can’t stop tripping over people I know and it’s awesome. To that end, I bumped into Kurodod in the lobby and let him know that his art is sweg as all hell. We chatted for a bit and he gave me a business card with a sexy Vaporeon booty on it so I’m calling that time well spent. While I was in the lobby waiting on getting access to the room I got to spend some time with Kelix and his crew, who had gathered there for nefarious purposes that I did not inquire as to the nature of. Never met any of those guys before but they were nice and I had to admit that Kelix had quite a fetching bright crimson, highly snuggleable fox suit, so that worked out well. I ended up bouncing about a bit with those guys to fill time. Kelix was getting overheated right about the time I actually did get into my room, which was convenient since the headless lounge wasn’t set up yet, leaving him in a bit of a bind. I invited him to de-suit and chill a bit in my room and he gratefully accepted. I wouldn’t necessarily advise inviting guys you just met to come up to your hotel room and undress, but hey it’s a furry con. I’ve gotta live a little.

Archai over the phone had taken a sudden and rather notable interest in how I’d gotten to the convention. Being that he was flying in at the time I plied my deductive reasoning talents and asked if he’d like me to pick him up at the airport. And so began my next exciting adventure. For those of you thinking that a trip to the airport hardly qualifies as an adventure well, you severely underestimate my ability to complicate things. There was a lot of communications traffic in the course of this because Archai’s three roommates had all dropped out on him and he was looking for ways to fill the room back up. I was one such means of doing so, occupying space being a valuable part of my core skillset, but the other spots were a bit more of a challenge. We’d managed to get in touch with someone on the Twitters who was looking for both a ride and a room. So after I’d spent 20 minutes looking for the cell phone lot, picked up Archai and then spent an additional 30 minutes looking for the cell phone lot AGAIN, (Pittsburgh airport is not laid out very well is what I’m saying) we came to find that our prospective guest had actually found both of those things while we were dicking around in this maze of concrete barricades that they claim are roads. So yeah, furries still hard at work coming up with ways for me to burn up extra time on my early day. Good onya mate!

Little did I know that the baffling maze of concrete barriers had only just begun, as on our way back we found that some form of nuclear holocaust had obliterated the southbound lane of the highway. At least that’s the only explanation that I could come up with for essentially all of it between the airport and hotel being closed. We quickly lost the detour path; by quickly I mean ‘after 8 or 10 miles’ because just SO much of this road was fucked you guys. Naturally we still weren’t far enough from the stricken highway for my GPS to stop stupidly directing us back to it. Archai decided to show me up by firing up his fancy pocket supercomputer and use the Waze app, which was apparently far more responsive to traffic and closures. He queued up our destination in order for it to… stupidly direct us back to the highway by a different route. We eventually did accidentally come across the detour again and paid EXTREMELY close attention to its clumsy and confusing routing through tiny surface streets pretty much all the way back into downtown. It was easier because by then enough traffic had been diverted that the whole route was just a slow, bewildered caravan of people trying to wedge all their cars through places they had no business going. So it really just became a matter of following all the other lost huddled masses yearning to breathe free. Though that might be the wrong city. Anyways, we made it back, ostensibly alive, but by then it was what the fuck O’clock in the morning so bed was the only realistic option. I had to chill for a bit because I was too frustrated with the three-hour trip to the airport to properly sleep, but in time I managed to wrestle my demons into submission for a night of rest.

Starting early with the con tradition of waking up at about lunchtime, I managed to come across Gray Muzzle for a bit of food to start the day. Honestly a big chunk of Thursday was spent on coordination. I’ve learned many times over that having everyone ever forever attend Anthrocon is a double-edged sword. Sure people are more likely to be there, but they’re extremely easy to miss in the crowd. Plus they’re likely to be busy because ALL the things are happening in addition to ALL the people being around. That means a lot of legwork in actually finding yourself in the presence of people that you’re looking for. I came across Danruk Rooface in the zoo wherein he and his friends taught me to play cribbage because they wanted to test just how much of their nonsense I would put up with I guess. It was an interesting game, hampered by a lot of bafflingly arbitrary rules but definitely playable. That and some more zoo shenanigans got me into the evening hours, wherein Archai said I ought to stop by his way for some gyros. I met Velux there, a gryphon friend of Archai’s and a member of the indomitable “Oh yeah I recognize you from all the weird fetish porn in my inbox” club. He’s tremendously flattered to hear that I’m sure.

Having the luxury of doing so, I decided to close out the night by throwing on my suit. Out on the street mingling with whoever is nearby (his natural environment) I found Zarafa, the incomparable purple giraffe who greatly enjoys my company and yet seems quite committed to temporarily forgetting who I am every time I meet him. I suppose I can’t blame him overmuch. He’s getting on in years and appears to spend half his life up to his armpits in skinny twinks. So I guess I can understand my not standing out in the crowd. He was quick to introduce me to Scotty Minotaur, whom I’d always known as Raptor Jesus, and Fibre Kitty, one of the most energetic and engaging suiters I’ve ever met. Fibre was a particular recommendation to me on Zarafa’s part, as apparently his hugs rival mine in strength and enthusiasm. I wasn’t about to let such a challenge stand, and in doing so I came to find that he was in fact quite skilled at the embracing arts. I saw him on a number of other occasions and I like to think that a mutual respect developed between us, both recognizing the other’s skill and dedication. It was a joy to walk the streets with them. Something about being in a group seems to make us more approachable. We got TONS of folks who wanted pictures and to talk about just what the hell we were doing. That was really fun. I underestimated how much community relations one can do whilst suiting, so I’ll have to keep that in mind in the future. Even at night, all the heat and activity outdoors wore on me quickly, so I soon turned in.

Friday opened with, oddly enough, opening ceremonies, before they turned us all loose once again on the unsuspecting convention hall. I went to Quipfur next, out of no actual interest in the event, really. Quiplash is a decent game, but really I went because I knew that was a solid chance for me to meet Serathin. He’s one of my favorite writers and has been for years. He was hosting at the event, in fursuit no less, and he actually made it a lot of fun. I didn’t get much of a chance to talk to him then or at any other time, now that I think about it. I really regretted that I never managed to come in contact with him when he was free to hang out for a bit. He was always in suit and ALWAYS had something to do. Ah well, that’s a challenge for another time I suppose. My attendance at Quipfur also provided a chance for Unstableimagination to catch up with me. My description of “the guy in the back who is the only loser playing this game on a laptop instead of a smartphone” was apparently sufficient to lead him to me. That was a great opportunity too, because not only had I been following his art for years, HE was a fan of MY work. A revelation to which I responded with a demure and composed “AWGUBRAWRAAAAAGH!” That’s a rare and exciting event, is what I’m saying. Fortune smiled on me as we were wandering the lobby later and I came across Williamca, a prolific commissioner that I follow. I got to not only say hi to him, but introduce Unstable Imagination as “one of my fans”. Hah! So exciting! Never saw Will again, but even just getting to shake hands and put a face to someone is a blessing.

After I and my fan (EHEHEEE I HAVE A FAN) parted ways I set myself to refining my routine for the open mic. That was something of an interesting experience as that routine had gone through a number of iterations and rewrites due to time constraints. Or rather, the quantum superposition that the time constraints remained in up until the actual start of the event. I looked everywhere I could and most sources would only confirm the presence of a time limit and not really anything about what it might be. I asked everyone I could think of about what it might be; Con Ops, Sparf in programming, 2 Gryphon, the only person involved that I didn’t ask about it was Alkalai and that’s just because he was impossible to find and may in fact not be real. Plus the staff get all worried when you say you’re looking for him. They get this really somber look on their face when you ask how you can find him.

“Now, are you sure you want that? Are you sure you understand the implications of this? Because if you find him then you might have to talk to him. You seem like a nice kid, I don’t want to see that happen to you.”

So yeah, I got at least a rough stab at the time limit and tailored my routine to that. I was a little bummed that I was missing the Transformation Meet and Greet, but I’d had a good enough time doing standup at FurXoticon that I was really excited for the chance to try this out in front of a larger audience. I got there nice and early to get my name on the signup sheet and luckily enough, I settled in a spot next to Serathin as we waited for the show to start. I’d love to regale you with how my set went, but to do so I’d have to make something up because I never got to go up on stage. I guess it was nice of them to not string me along and make me believe I had a chance. As soon as the show started they immediately dispensed with the signup list and just picked people at random from the audience. As soon as I saw ALL of those hands going up I knew I was dusted. There was no way even ten percent of those motherfuckers were getting their shot at the stage. Especially with the way the number of hands kept increasing. I think that’s what got to me the most. The fact that people showed up to watch and then just got it in their heads that this was comedy karaoke and everybody gets a turn was really galling. Yeah, I know that’s the point of an open mic, but it was just fucking excruciating to know that I’d completely wasted those hours I spent practicing (which I could’ve spent on a million other things had I known in advance what a worthless shitshow this thing was going to be). And it really salted the wound to be sitting there watching a bunch of obviously unprepared goons stumble through a couple meandering run-on sentences before flaming out and giving up, all the while knowing I wouldn’t get my chance to actually entertain some people. One guy wandered in halfway through the event and he still got picked to go up. There were a few good bits, sure, but I would’ve much preferred it if the good performers had been determined by preparation rather than arising spontaneously from the law of averages. All they would’ve had to do was stick to their damn signup list! If they narrowed the pool to people who walked in the door, on time, with the intent of getting up on stage, they could’ve improved the quality of the show immensely and not have had to tell so many people to go fuck themselves because they didn’t get picked.

Anyways, one of the people who got picked (the bastard!) was Battsaults, the crazy steampunk crux dude that I met at FurryCon. His material was kind of unstructured but he really committed to the physical stuff, so it was still a treat to watch. Plus I thought it was awesome that he told the phone story because I was involved in that one. For those of you who don’t want to go back and research that one, have you ever gotten drunk and woken up without your phone? Well this one time at FurryCon I got drunk and woke up with more phones than I started with. So maybe it’s my fault when you can’t find your phone. Who knows? I don’t decide how the universe works. Silver lining number two of the comedy shitshow was that they didn’t kick us out before 2 Gryphon’s show so I got to keep my primo seats. Well, sort of. I was sitting in a supersponsor-only zone and I was just a drooling proletariat scum like usual, so I had to move to a slightly less primo seat. So like, a secundo seat I guess? In any case, I ended up close to the spot where they were giving out cookies made in the likeness of the Great Giraffe, praise be unto him (BREE!) so I got to eat one of those. And the slightly tarnished third silver lining, I guess, was that I heard from Unstable Imagination that the TF meet was kind of a flop. I wasn’t super surprised about that. Meet n’ greets are notoriously lacking in direction. You can see that right in the mission statement, which is “Let’s get a bunch of people together that have this one thing in common and then… uh, mumble-mumble, PROFIT!” So yeah, at the very least other people were also not having fun whilst I was not having fun. Hah! Suck it, other people!

Anyways, as I was trying to console myself I came across a telegram message from awhile back regarding food. It was late enough that I’d called food a lost cause, but I took a chance and followed up on the message. Turns out that they were still in the queue at Sierra Mercato, a decently fancy place across the way. I still had time and a biological imperative to eat food, so I went for it. The “they” in this case was Ryoken, the very same one who is now hosting me for RMFC. His partners in crime at the time were Reo, someone whom I had seen pretty much everywhere since forever but had never been granted the honor of really meeting, and Drakien, some complete nobody I’ve never heard of but he was cool too. So yeah, we did the whole fancy restaurant thing. Wine, cheese platter, nice cocktails and all. They even had a cider selection. Granted there were three types of cider on the menu and they were out of the first one I asked for, but honestly a non-zero cider selection is all I really ask for. It was really great food at a really great price, honestly. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in the con I forget that Pittsburgh is taking better care of us every time. And so with that, I went back to get wrapped up in the con again.

I had some trouble meeting peeps for the TF art jam because they moved the zoo down into the dirty basement across the way again and very poorly communicated that to everyone. They still had the sign up that said “the Zoo” in the old location and had events going on in there, so it was all very confusing. I managed to shout into enough electronic social networks for that critical bit of intel to work its way back to me and I managed to find a path through the dungeoun down to the new Zoo and find the aforementioned peeps there. Far too many to list, but I’ll give shoutouts to my major players. LunarKeys was as always “happy” to see me. LanHao was ever-futilely trying to keep some sense of order. Reklaw was looking as though he’d stared long into the abyss a bit too long. Ah, such a good crew. It’s a shame that I arrived so close to the end of the night’s shenanigans. I still did manage to get to know Dsarvess while I was there though. He’s been quietly and diligently working in the background to turn absolutely everything in the world into big, long, sinuous Dragonairs, so of course I’d been familiar with his work for a long time. He didn’t seem like the type to open up very easily, so I felt honored that we got to talk as much as we did.

It really felt like the night was winding down after the TF crowd dwindled, but apparently my next adventure was quite ready to find me, so I needn’t have worried about looking for it. I was chatting with a few people in the Westin when with a warbling rebel yell “Haaaaeey!” 200 pounds of totally shithoused raccoon fell on my shoulders, very nearly knocking me to my knees. Whether by curse or by providence is anyone’s guess, but Diezel had found me. We’d met on a few other occasions, but I didn’t think he’d remember me. In the interest of full disclosure I still don’t know if he did or if I were merely a free-standing structure within arm’s reach when he found himself in need of such a support. The sweaty, exhausted rodent that I suddenly found myself wearing like a scarf had far and away won the dubious honor of drunkest person I’d ever seen in a fursuit. He may have been named after petrol but he smelled far more like ethanol and regrettable decisions. Just as I was considering how best to proceed with my new rather burdensome fashion accessory his chase team caught up with him. Apparently the well-fueled Diezel was being accompanied by a strikingly handsome twin pair of black and white jackals, Zharr and Sarus. I would’ve much rather I’d met them under more favorable conditions, but sometimes when life runs out of lemons it hands you a precariously staggering raccoon who’s constantly on the verge of vomiting on you.

So yeah, evac was in order. Appropriate, seeing as my new charge was holding onto me like I was the last chopper out of Saigon. I’m sure that his two escorts were plenty capable, but in addition to being almost literally attached to the unfortunate rodent I got the impression that someone with the benefit of a complete field of vision and working fingers would be needed for this mission. And so, the newly formed adventuring party steeled ourselves against the elements and set out into the wild. For a capable person this would’ve been a short walk, but we had a bit more of a challenge on our hands. Getting through the lobby was quite a painful “one step at a time” sort of affair, particularly getting down the stairs of course. I was worried that I’d be at it all night. Crossing the threshold though, was a big breakthrough for us. Diezel is the insufferable sort of drunk that won’t admit he’s even the least bit impaired even as he’s actively plowing into a wall and slumping to the floor in near-unconsciousness. The advantage to that is that once the obstacles thin out a bit, he can be aimed, in a fashion, such that we can get him moving vaguely in the direction of his destination and actually have some momentum behind his movements. I handed off physical support duties to my squad while I handled elevator buttons and doors and such. I was also quickest on my feet when Diezel went barreling straight for a set of stairs that likely would’ve been the end of him if he took the short way down. So yeah, I got him into his room, alive, for certain generous definitions of “alive”. We got enough suit pieces off of him to let him throw up and proceed drift in and out of consciousness in relative peace. Once we got in touch with his roommates and everything seemed stable I started to feel like I was in the way, so I left him in the care of the two jackal super-best-friends.

It would seem it was my turn to be hard to find, as Bluedude had been looking for me extensively and we’d never even been near each other. He has a “hug list” for every convention and was hoping to check me off. I think that’s just the most adorable goddamn thing, so I was happy to help him out with it. He was at the Whose Lion is it Anyway show and was concerned that it was going to end before I got there. Granted, it was approaching midnight, but I told him not to worry. I can count on zero hands the number of times that Whose Lion has ended on time. Turns out I was right and I got there with plenty of time to get the check in that box. Seeing as I’d made the pilgrimage all the way over there I figured I ought to uphold tradition and finish the night out with the late-night sexy writing panel.

Except it wasn’t the end of the night, apparently, because I came across Vaylute on my way back to my room. Sure it was late but for once providence came through for me and dropped someone I had been looking for in my lap. Who was I to question fate’s judgment? So yeah, over the course of the wee hours of the morning we gathered together Vaylute’s crew. Naturally there was the better half, the ever-lovely Leila Snowpaw, a fearsome wyvern assassin Wyvy and a super trippy spirit wolf thingy that remains utterly beyond my comprehension, Alpha Theist. It was quite an ensemble cast and we had a great time of it partaking in the venerable old tradition of eating pizza and gyros at irresponsible hours of the morning to try and stave off the crushing hangover that would come inexorably with the rising sun. It was a really great group and I’m glad that I seized the opportunity, seeing as it was the only such chance I would have. And so, from there I proceeded to actually for real go to bed.

A mercifully quiet morning followed, allowing me to get the late start that I needed and ease into the day. I had a lot of good quality time in the lobby. I had some bubble wands that I picked up from the party in West Virginia, and those were such great fun for those times when I was just wandering about. Fursuiters respond in wonderfully entertaining ways when bubbles are descending from the skies. Naturally the fun police told me to cut it out because apparently bubbles fall under the “throwing objects off the balcony” rule. Yeah, careful with those soap bubbles, somebody could get hurt. Still, I got a nice chance to interact with some great folks. Fibre was there again, lending great energy to the scene as always. Weichund was there being super friendly and dangerously adorable. Kiwi was certainly a riot, and I had the pleasure of making the acquaintance of Ouiji, a member of a latent surge that I’ve observed in the number of adorable bat fursuits making rounds on the convention floor. It was really fun to watch him play up the super-tsundere persona, and I will say it was quite a novel experience to get a hug that extended all the way down to my knees. Nice, warm batwings. I never wanted to leave! Naturally I came to mention at one point how I’d heard of Ouiji, from a comic that Reyn Puppeh made awhile back. Naturally the… particular nature of that comic led to Ouiji’s notable discomposure when I brought it up. I feel at least a little bad about it but seeing a visibly-humiliated little fluffy bat trying so earnestly to silence me on the subject without making a sound himself was easily the cutest thing I’d seen all con.

From there it was time to prepare for the fursuit parade. I got appropriately decked out and proceeded down to the staging area. It was a HELL of a wait, so I was glad for a lot of familiar faces who showed up. The cookies ‘n cream jackals from last night came by to tell me that Diezel was okay. I also saw Serathin and Ryoken again, too many familiar faces to list. It was nice to have their company as we all stood there wrapped in our stifling plush outfits, wondering just what in the hell we’re all doing with our lives. Then came the photo, then more waiting, and then the parade, which consisted mainly of temporally distributed waiting. It was a lot of stop-and-go traffic is what I’m saying. That can be dealt with for the most part, but it becomes quite dangerous when the route includes escalators. The heat and delays were interminable. There’s only so energetic you can be after more than two hours of this torture, especially while you’re moving at half the speed of smell. I think it was worth it though. The outdoor route attracted insane amounts of people who were all having the time of their lives. I guess I’ll just have to say this was an instance wherein I was willing to suffer for my art. I managed to catch up with RadFox and his entourage of radioactive suits while we were recovering from our ordeal. It was a little awkward because we were all just kinda tired and disoriented, but I’d hate to have missed the chance to say hey to him. It’s always fun to see those guys rolling deep with their searingly-colored trifoils on display. Apparently there’s yet another Rad Fox suit in the works, so that army is still going strong.

After walking by the badge and photo booths and seeing that I’d be there all day if I tried to use them right then, I went back to my room and got my human costume out for the next few items on my list. I managed to meet up with Impy and Grey for Story Hour, which I guess is a tradition at this point because I’ve done that every time now. Kage was entertaining as always. Hearing from him was a welcome way to unwind. After the show, the culmination of much logistical work throughout the convention occurred and I managed to summon Furian to my location such that I might actually meet him. The rest of the evening was rather quiet so I was glad for the opportunity to hang out a bit. We ended up heading back to his room because he had a few “You’ve gotta try this before you die” drinks he wanted to test on me. He had a soy-based liquor that sounded very intriguing, which of course ended up being the most caustic and revolting bilgewater I’d ever had the misfortune of bringing anywhere near any of my bodily openings. And some Malort, which I’d heard to be legendarily awful but turned out to only be moderately awful and even less so for the expensive version. So yeah, I got to meet all Furian’s friends and also drive them into a blind rage because he handed out squeakers somehow not realizing what an apocalyptically bad idea that was. I don’t remember anyone else’s name from that room, but that’s probably just as well, because I’m sure that they all justifiably hate my guts, and also my skin, and everything in-between. So yeah, after narrowly surviving that encounter, much to the chagrin of my hosts, I wandered the convention floor a bit before dropping by the “Readings in Terrible Fiction” to hang out with a few friends there and basically rifftrax some amateur stories. I’d never done that event before and I have to say it’s the perfect thing to do at an irresponsible hour of the morning when you’re so exhausted that most everything is funny.

I rather liked the idea of doing the fursuit team games, but then I saw that they were at 9AM Sunday, so I laughed derisively and resolved to sleep in that day. The time that I did end up eventually rolling out of bed was in good time for the dance competition, so I went to that. They had an amazing showing this year, as always. I love the capacity this fandom has for making me do things that I wouldn’t have ever thought of on my own. I’d never imagine that I’d be interested in dance, and yet there’s something absolutely magical about it. Two hours just fly by in a whirlwind of color and light. I really liked the way they handled it this year with just one judge giving one remark each time. It’s a great balance of giving each performer the recognition they deserve and also keeping the show moving along. It was kind of funny, someone I saw there commented on the ribbon that Furian gave me.

“Hey, where did you get the ‘I excel at awkward’ ribbon?”
“Oh, I got it from this big black wolf that has a bunch of rubber tentacles coming out of his back.”
“Oh yeah, I know him. Thanks!”

It’s pretty insane that the above sentence is not only coherent but successfully conveyed the information that he needed. There was a bit of a lull after the dance comp as the con started losing steam. I saw that as my opportunity to suit up one more time to really let loose for a last hurrah, and of course also do fursuit badges and get mugshots in the photo room. I’m so excited to finally have some good pictures of Blackjack to show off! He’s really starting to feel like my suit now and I can hardly describe what a relief that is.

I managed to get the squeakers that I got from Furian into my big puffy bubblepaw fingers, so now when I bap people it squeaks. It sounded stupid but I figured I had nothing to lose by going for it. Once I did it though? Oh. My. God. I have squeakyboppers! It’s the best thing that’s ever happened. One of the people who I was just bouncing around all over in the general vicinity of couldn’t help but comment “Wow, you really enjoy having a fursuit, don’t you?” And you know what, I do! I really do. And it was wonderful to hear that joy was readily apparent to other people. I’ve always felt a little awkward about using an old and worn suit that quite literally isn’t really me, but you know what? I see people out there all the time in some pretty shabby looking suits, and they are just fuckin’ killing it, so I have a lot of faith in the idea that it’s the player, not the costume, that really makes the character come alive. It was also nice to see Hengstolf when I was picking up my badge. I’ve lost touch with a lot of the Virginia guys, so it’s good to see them around once in a while. When they were confirming my identity, Sparf introduced me as “The guy who writes those really long convention journals.” That was one of the things I thought of when I was having trouble getting this one written. Well if that’s who I am now, I guess I can’t very well give up at this point! I managed to suit enough to miss closing ceremonies, but they were over in a flash so I guess there wasn’t a lot to them.

After finally dressing down I went down to the Zoo to find a good chunk of the TF crew still doing their thing. Unfortunately it seemed I was mainly there to say goodbye to people, as it was getting to be that time. It was nice though. I did manage to meet Splyced and Zangy there, two artists that I was very glad to have the chance to meet, even if it was only for a fleeting moment. A traditional moment had become a fleeting one because I’d realized that I’d done that thing where I forget to eat and Archai offered a chance to get food because the photo room was finally shut down. So I went off to eat with him, Kyreeth and Warp. It was quite a relaxing dinner, and a great way to coast down after spending a couple hours bouncing off the celling. I’d also not been to the Sharper Edge yet, so it was practically a necessity. I got to see LunarKeys and Dsarvess there one more time, they seemed to be doing much the same thing I was, just kind of cooling off and trying to hold it all together for the last little bit of the con here. I heard that from most everyone I texted about that time; that they had to get a move-on tomorrow morning so they were packing it in. Archai must’ve sensed that I was considering doing this as well because when we got back to our room he took notice of how I’d yet to be visibly intoxicated in the course of this con and he immediately set about rectifying that. After a long quest to procure cranberry juice at this unholy hour, we mixed up the necessary refreshments and got to work. I could kind of feel the energy of the hotel dying off, but, properly fortified as I was, I no longer cared. I managed to come across enough folks to keep me going. I thought that I was just having a good time, but Casidhe was quick to confirm the reality of the situation for me when I came by and said hey to him. “Oh hey! How are y- oh wow you’re really drunk.” So yeah, big fat mission accomplished to Archai on that one.

Apparently we weren’t done though. When our drinks ran out he simply ran off to obtain more, leaving me in the care of a handful of good folks who seemed to be in much the same mindset as I was. I’d never met any of them, but we got along quite well. I assume that Arc knew at least a few of them and didn’t just leave me in the care of a handful of random homeless people, but I wouldn’t put it past him. Scrubzy was kind enough to share with me some of his home-made apple moonshine, so of course we were immediately best friends. I also came across Anvil Devil, a name of quite fascinating origins. Apparently it’s a small tool that, if struck incorrectly with a hammer, can break an anvil. Quite an imposition, being that anvils are rather difficult to replace. Other names that now seem vaguely familiar to me as a result of this interaction include: Fizz Otter, Leonfox, Nightclaw, Eaglebird, and Erro. Sorry if I don’t remember much else about you guys, I was really drunk. So yeah, I wasn’t really hungry or anything, but the group was headed to Primanti Brothers and I was in no condition to get out of range of my babysitter so I went along with it. It was a relief that Archai is just as skilled at getting me out of these positions as he is at getting me into them. He gave very careful advice to keep me on the right track. “Keep your voice down.” “Keep drinking water.” “You don’t have to yell we’re right next to you.” “Here, eat this sandwich, also they can probably hear you outside, take it easy.” I can’t be sure, but I think he was saying that I talk loudly when I’m drunk. Also apparently someone paid for that sandwich for me. Wooooo! Anyways, I had a great time with those guys and I don’t as yet have any reason to believe that they didn’t enjoy themselves as well. So I’m going to tentatively assume that a good time was had by all and life is just grand. In any case, Archai patiently ushered me towards a bed and brought about a pleasant close to the night.

There’s not a lot to say about Monday morning. It was, of course, the big shuffle wherein everybody gets the heck out of here. I recalled, at the time, that I wasn’t under time pressure and I’d heard a few people talking about having rooms for that night still. However, as quiet as it was and as tired as I was, it really didn’t seem worth the extra money to stick around. If sleepspace were free? Sure, I would’ve stuck around a bit more, but the only place where there was free sleepspace to be had was separated from me by six hours of road. So I had to make that choice early if I wanted to get home at a reasonable time of day. I didn’t much like the idea of a lot of night driving in my condition at the time. I actually did have to stop and nap a few times along the way. I’d heard a few people lament that they wish Anthrocon was longer and frankly, I don’t know what the hell they’re talking about. There was already plenty of activity to keep me going when I got there on Wednesday and a lot of people were still hanging around when I left on Monday afternoon. If you’re still anxious for more after SIX DAYS, then you just didn’t convention hard enough. So I guess I’m proud to say that with five of these things under my belt now, I know how to get the most out of Anthrocon.

Alright then. Seeing as I’m literally sitting in the lobby at RMFC right now proofreading this, I guess I’d better just send it to the internet so I can get on with my next convention!