Recently I've learned my grandmother is very ill and she's not projected to live much longer. On top of her heart functioning at a mere 20%, she's also developed interstitial lung disease, which slowly breaks down her lungs and will ultimately take her life if her heart holds out long enough.

I've been blessed not to have suffered through too many deaths and now that my grandmother is lingering on borrowed time, I find myself crying off and on. We are never really ready to say goodbye, are we? She tells me at 80, she's lived a good life and when her heart stops, that will just be it. It's heart breaking to hear her talk that way, but at the same time, I understand why she says it. I keep questioning which conversation will be my last one with her and I'm cherishing as many moments with her as I can.

I'm quietly aching over my grandmother's condition and can't find the words to tell anyone on any other social media outlets. This will be the only place I post it.

My heart is heavy and my eyes are red.