For several, several months now, I've been having major troubles with a simple situation. Getting out of bed in the morning. Why's that? No its not because I'm too fat. No I'm not a lazy person, i hate laziness honestly. So why can't i seem to get myself out of bed in the mornings? I'm not really sure. Maybe im losing my mind here at school or something. I get up, i get ready, i go to class, i go to lunch, i go to class again, i do my homework, i eat dinner, i get ready for bed, i go to bed. There's not much freedom in between. And that schedule isnt even often what happens. The classes and lunch and class still happens, but in the afternoons when i come back to my room and im tired, i just... crash. I get to my room and sit down, and all thoughts of school and work just stop. Bam. Just like that. I try to do my homework but i can't seem to. I have other work to do, like signing up for graduate schools. You'd think that such an important monumental task would be worked on steadily day after day? Nope. Can't even do that. I just sit there, browsing the internet.

I'll stop with the monologe sorry. I don't think i have any motivation anymore. For school, for my future, for my own art? Probably those and more. Can't get work done, can't find reason to draw and enjoy it. Plus I dont have anyone to really be around irl anymore since my "friends" up and moved out from last school year to this.

Class starts in 35 minutes. i've been sitting in bed for over and hour. Why did i get up so early. I don't know.

TL;DR - im unmotivated in my everyday life and its affecting me in every aspect of myself and I can't seem to fix things