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yikes, personal much?
9 years ago
Remember when I said I'd post an explanation journal.
A month ago.
Hey kids long time no see. Just wanted to update on where I've been the past few months.
Some of you know I live with mental illness. I do my best to keep that out of my professional view as best I can but gradually over the past months it's bubbled up and has been seeping out. I've been fighting the struggle bus hard, including a hospital stay, which I had DeleteTheStars post a letter for me some of you may remember. After that I'd taken up a very intensive summer job. It helped me quite a bit! But killed any and all free time I'd had. Immediately after that I had to jump into prepping for my first artist alley table, a decision I made back in March but then life kicked my ass.
So between being actually busy and viciously ill, I've been fairly silent. And I hate it honestly. I don't feel like myself. I've been fighting this war against my own brain and body in and out of doctors offices for the better part of 14 months now. I'm frustrated because I've lost me. I think I remember who I am, but this is definitely not it, and all I can do is hope that I'm still somewhere inside this mess I'm stagnating into.
Today is the first day in weeks that I've felt the drive to get better. I want to be better. I love you guys, I love this job, I'm immensely blessed, and now that I'm diving into the convention circuit I actually am falling into my dream job since age 16. I feel amazing for it, and I can't let my body take that away from me.
They say to keep your deeply personal issues out of your professional persona, and for the most part I try, but these struggles have come to define me, to the point where I have nothing to hide them with. I'm learning to accept help and seek help on my own. Your guys' support over the years continues to blow me away and I am deeply thankful for all of you, you deserve all of me, so I ask just bear with me while I try to repair what I can.
Thank you, so so much.
A month ago.
Hey kids long time no see. Just wanted to update on where I've been the past few months.
Some of you know I live with mental illness. I do my best to keep that out of my professional view as best I can but gradually over the past months it's bubbled up and has been seeping out. I've been fighting the struggle bus hard, including a hospital stay, which I had DeleteTheStars post a letter for me some of you may remember. After that I'd taken up a very intensive summer job. It helped me quite a bit! But killed any and all free time I'd had. Immediately after that I had to jump into prepping for my first artist alley table, a decision I made back in March but then life kicked my ass.
So between being actually busy and viciously ill, I've been fairly silent. And I hate it honestly. I don't feel like myself. I've been fighting this war against my own brain and body in and out of doctors offices for the better part of 14 months now. I'm frustrated because I've lost me. I think I remember who I am, but this is definitely not it, and all I can do is hope that I'm still somewhere inside this mess I'm stagnating into.
Today is the first day in weeks that I've felt the drive to get better. I want to be better. I love you guys, I love this job, I'm immensely blessed, and now that I'm diving into the convention circuit I actually am falling into my dream job since age 16. I feel amazing for it, and I can't let my body take that away from me.
They say to keep your deeply personal issues out of your professional persona, and for the most part I try, but these struggles have come to define me, to the point where I have nothing to hide them with. I'm learning to accept help and seek help on my own. Your guys' support over the years continues to blow me away and I am deeply thankful for all of you, you deserve all of me, so I ask just bear with me while I try to repair what I can.
Thank you, so so much.
But others can sometimes take over, and employers need to understand that you and everyone else that works for them aren't machines. You're all human beings.
And that goes for every job. So if there's a day that's particularly hard, it's okay to feel that. Because feeling it is the only way you can actually move past it.
Hope you feel better soon, hon!
And about mixing professional with personal, i get that you try hard to separate them but when it comes to mental illness it just poisons everything so i think the best you can do its so learn to accept that and professionally handle your personal issues rather than keeping it separated, specially considering many of your clients do care about you a lot and hope for your well being, i mean paying for art is the best way to show an artist how much they appreciate them <3.
About cons, dude im so glad you finally kicked into it, i love your prints and shit , sooooo cooooool, if shipping wasn't such a bitch i'd love to get some of your stuff 8). Also you know you can always reach me for suggestions about stuff, im always keeping an eye about what is popular around the world in cons and all that, watch reviews about artist alley stuff and shit, i hope you do amazing in your sales <3
kis kisssss
like you say at some point this stuff does come to define you a little. that's not a bad thing, you can
use that experience and knowledge to recover mentally and to help other people by talking about it too!
good luck!! I'll be cheering for you!
I'm fighting my own (long) battle too, and it seems bleak but neither of us are alone in this. other people
have come from this same dark and dreary place of not really knowing who they are anymore and found
meaning for themselves. we can do it too!!
I struggle with mental illness every day of my life.
If you would like a sympathetic ear to listen to anything or everything and keep it under my bonnet, I'm here for you.