So a few days late but I am now 19. Man, just feels like I turned 18 few days ago. A lot has happened for sure between now and last year. Going to start collage soon, preparing to enter the workforce, Gonna start driving soon. Man, Becoming an adult is seeming to be quite a daunting task. Life has been a little more on the negative side as of late. Mentally and personally been very low. Life seems a bit bleak to me. If anything I feel like a bit of a failure really. Had my first long-term(over a year) friendship end on a very bitter note. Won't delve too much into it but basically I messed up. Even though it was pointed out that I wasn't totally to blame I still feel like I failed as a "friend". Really hate myself for that. I've neglected other people and honestly it feels like I don't give them enough incentive to talk to me. I've usually been the one to get their attention first just to talk. I don't know, just feel like a bit of a tool lately. Yeah, what a way to feel on your 19th birthday and all. Wasn't really planning to make this journal this big but eh, I guess I just needed to get some stuff off of my chest. I'll end it here though. Feel like I'm rambling to much blegh