so i have a question... have you ever screwed up so bad that no matter what you do you feel like it will never be enough ...well i have and i can tell you i feel like the worst person in the world ...everything i do seems to hurt people or make things worse in life i keep trying to make things better and work things out and still i feel like i am failing...i wont be giving up though.....look i am not the most perfect person in the world ...i do the wrong thing i say the wrong stuff i have cheated and lied...but now i am trying to be better i dont want to be that cold heartless person i normally am ..sure i wont ever be nice to randoms and i wont be peoples friend but those who are close....the one who has my heart...they are everything to me....i want to be with them...i want them to feel that to ...i dont want people to think i am going to replace them or that i am just another scum bag.......how do you show someone that you love that they are the only person you want when all you have done in life is fuck everything up and made people think otherwise.... she is everything....she is the air i want to breath ....i feel like i am nothing but a waste of space ...yet i want to be her waste of space... i want her to love me and know i love her....i want those few people i do trust to know that i do trust them...i hide so much of my issues and my depression and hate for the world... but now the one person who understands me ...who trusted me and loved me ....sighs- never mind ...









i think i need to just be around more and do more for her maybe find work that does not take time away from her...that does not make me hate myself more for not being able to do the right thing and be there more for her...