Clearly the stranger was too quick to judge you.

She's my friends cousin and she told my friend basically to stop being friends with me and move on.

So.

That felt nice.

Seriously? Why? (Notes if you want to explain.)

Because of the above mentioned reasons. She believes my friend "coddles me" and that I forced my friend on this week of vacation in Atlanta to do only things I wanted to do. THat wasn't true at all. Everything we did we mutually agreed we wanted to experience. I was cranky parts of the week because I was in pain because of something medical going on and she took some of that crankiness from being in pain for being "mean" and "rude". But she told me all these opinions via yelling at me like she's my mother so that was fun.

Hmmm... Sounds like she should just mind her damn business.

That would be rude to say out loud, but fun to think to myself, lol.

Sounds more like she's projecting onto to you!

Having seen some of her behavior this morning and last night in which she insists on incorrect information of no consequences and rudely tells people they're wrong when they try to correct her, I think that might be true lol.

Aw this is really sad to hear. I am hoping that you do find a better option out there. I know the creative fields are generally very crappy and exploitative. But maybe there are other areas that you can really excel in!

I really have no skills in any other areas and any area I'm interested in requires another 4 year degree. I have very, very little money to my name and am still paying off a substantial loan to school, so finding another field is kind of out of the question :( Idk why I fail s much where my peers all succeed.

Some of these fields can be very capricious. Frankly I think you have great chops. It's worth it to hope for an entry-level job in something and then keep plying with your portfolio. (I absolutely love your work, I know it ought to wow someone.)

So many of the creative fields are crap. I have a relative that got screwed over in such a field because it was highly tilted towards trust fund kids who could afford to go to school and not have to earn money, so they could do unpaid internships. But if one has actual bills and has to keep their roof over their head, well it's impossible to work for free.

I believe in you in any event. Don't give up.

Aw, that's very kind of you. I keep constantly feeling like I'm missing things by a very short margin, but don't know what the missing "ingredient" is that's not 'wowing' anyone else :(

For real. I refuse to even touch unpaid internships. Work is work. People need to be paid for work and I'm certainly in no position to be paid air and sitting on pretty chairs for work. I'm still baffled how unpaid internships are legal.

Thanks ;~;

Maybe it might be possible to, next application, send a thank-you note. Do you know any people in the biz? I know nowadays a lot of the positions come in via recommendation (networking).
It is also possible to do freelancing; there are clearinghouses for such work.

I think it is also critical to get at least something for cash flow, even if it's not in the creative field. Resumes with gaps on them can make lazy HR people drop you. Like it or not, creative fields are really exploitative and saturated with graduates; you're going to have to do quite a bit of stuff till you get your break. But the upshot is that there are companies out there. You just have to strike once you find the opportunity.

I know many people in the biz and many of them have recommended me on top of the application I've sent in/the test I've been sent back and despite recommendations from people working in those studios, I've still gotten nothing. That's extremely frustrating when you personally know the people and get multiple people in the same studio vying for you and recommending you and still nothing happens. And I've tried finding freelance work and can't even get the ones that pay less than minimum wage :'D

I understand, but I've tried to get things that are not in the creative field. Everything from a server at the Outback, o janitor at the Salvation Army, to Dunkin Donuts server and I've heard nothing back from those min wage jobs. I've done experiments of taking my degree off the application or leaving it on, etc, etc and despite 10 years of work experience, most of it relevant, I can't even get those jobs. The rub is all my peers have found work, in the field, and not me. Some of these peers have stated I'm a great animator, sometimes even better than themselves, and they are equally baffled as to why I don't have a job. My morale is bottom of the barrel, especially now that I can't even get a waiter/server/stock/equvilent minimum wage job no matter how many places I apply to (Petco, Joe's Crab Shack, Walmart, etc, etc, list goes on, you know the drill lol). I'm not sure what's going on.

I have no idea what's up with that either. If it is all in the same town it almost makes me think of a whisper campaign or someone spreading things about you, or some nebulous 'chemistry' issue. (Or worse, people in the area just purposefully being bigoted). Do you think any of them have an inside track on it? Like can they ask around on the down-low at least in their business and find out what happens with the person? Sometimes a followup-question of "Hey I was wondering what you thought of JamminBison?" to get their opinion. I know I had to do that when I recommended a friend who did not get selected (it turned out the friend, while highly qualfied, was not qualified on the actual systems used at the job).

I try not to think that it'd be a whisper campaign, because A.) I really don't think I've ever wronged someone/spread gossip myself and B.) I don't like playing the "world is against me" card on those things, because sometimes it's just a combo of luck/timing/etc, but you do start to wonder if something is up in those circumstances and it becomes both confusing and frustrating.

But yeah you're right, I should see if I can get friends to do follow-ups. I don't wanna be annoying so I tend to not pick brains like that, but at this point, I might as well be a little annoying to see if there's anything they're seeing that I can actually do something about instead of throwing darts into the dark kinda deal.

Call her a cunt and go on with your business. Everyone will admire your assertiveness, and management loves a "can do" attitude. My degree was going to be in Theater technology, and I spent the next twenty years climbing radio towers. No skills? You are an artist. The world is yours but it will not fall into your lap. Motivation, determination, drive! Now go out there and shame your enemies!

I never wanted it to fall into my lap. I've spent a shit ton of time working, hitting the pavement, and being homeless nearly twice and right now being "functionally" homeless all while I can't even get a minimum wage job at Dunkin Donuts or anything of the like. And she's not my manager or anyone in a leadership position, just a family member of my friend who decided she's a psychologist all of a sudden and treat me like dirt.

FIGHT?! WIN?!

You can either let the world crush you or you can shoulder it aside. I do not write to losers or fools. I have been in very tight situations where I just wanted to give up. But things will get better, and if I offended you by coming across like Vince Lombardi I apologize.

"Except for considerations of honor or common sense, never, ever, Ever give up"! Winston Leonard Spencer Churchill.

No, no, I wasn't offended or anything, don't worry about that. I just feel like I've been shouldering for many, many, many years with little if any reward and it's come to the point of being very, very poor on top of still shouldering. I was kinda hoping by 25 I could file a tax return that was above the poverty line, you know what I'm saying?

Oh Churchill. You da best.

23? Well, it ain't happening so far. You sure as hell are not the lone ranger. I am over 50 and am struggling with playing guitar. Disappointment has been my constant companion, like, always. You are smart and talented and you want a sympathetic ear. Understood, believe you me. Go read about Col. Harlan Sanders if you wish to know how long some people work to make it. Now here comes the Marine part of me. Sometimes the only way around a problem is through it. You will do better, and soon. Failure is not an option. I want to see all of us liberal arts types successful. Life is not fair, and most other people are neither here nor there as decent humans. Look in the mirror when you get up, and say to yourself as you look into your own eyes and soul, "Everyday in everyway I get better and better". This is called the Coue method, and it works. I have spoken. Good luck.

Oh, I'm pretty bull headed (bison headed?) about plowing through things, so I hear that. I keep trudging, I just am endlessly frustrated when it feels like hard work and networking and all the things you're supposed to do only makes my finances and life worse, not better. I'm well aware life is not fair, ts' been very unfair to me, and I don't expect things handed to me. I should really try stuff like the Coue Method. It's one of those things you gotta tape to the mirror to truly remember and be reminded of daily or it slips the mind. Thanks. I like your style.

Martin Luther King, of whom I am not a fan, gave a speech along the lines of " I am poor, but I am somebody. I am in Jail, but I am somebody. I am etc..." This is a great way of thinking. I thinking you will do just fine. I wouldn't be watching you if you were of no consequence. There I said it. I am a snob! And a furry to boot. You have pride and humor and this is just one of those fucked up episodes you will have no matter how much money or fame you eventually achieve. I mean, look at Robin Williams.

He said one of my favourite quotes that I discovered in 4th grade. Something to the effect of "If you are a street sweeper, be the best street sweeper you can be", meaning, no matter what you are, even if the world thinks of it as a menial task.

And a furry snob! My fave kind of snob Thanks for your kind words and tough(ish) love. I really appreciate it. (Also Robin Williams is the besttttt)

The glass is falling hour by hour, the glass will fall forever.

But if you break the bloody glass you won't hold up the weather.

I wish I knew what to say, my goodness. From what I've known you're a really sweet person and the few interactions I've had with you have been nothing but pleasant and you're always so nice. I hope things somehow turn around for you soon :c

A-Aw. That made me smile. Thank you <3 I do try to be kind to everyone, because I try to live by the whole philosophy of 'you never know what someone else is dealing with, so be kind'. I was in pain this week physically so I know I can be curt when in pain and tend to self-isolate so as to not be snappy with people, so it really hurt to have it thrown in my face by someone who doesn't know me and for them to assume one of my best friend's sympathy toward said pain was "coddling" me. :'| I feel better now from all the nice comments on this journal and am glad I have such a nice support network here when I'm feeling down.

Absolutely! Yeah, I think we can all get grumpy when we're not feeling well (my boyfriend is grouchy when he is hungry lol). And yeah, honestly a stranger saying that has no idea what you're like and hasn't spent enough time with you so pshhh they don't know anything! It hurts to hear someone say that but honestly, just having a bad week and not feeling your best doesn't mean you're mean D: and yeah! FA is great for that community feel sometimes for sure :>

Exactly. I tend to give people a wide berth and a large benefit of the doubt when it's obvious they're cranky about something or don't want to talk about something, but she decided to play the "I'm older than you and know better than you" card and essentially yell at me like she was my mother. Kinda bullshit :'|
But yeah yeah! Community rocks! <3

Looks like you just had one of those horrible days.

Did they tell you why you weren't hired?

I did :'|

Not really? They made it sound like they went with someone with more experience, but it's a student position, so that doesn't make too much sense to me, but they offered a portfolio critique which I accepted so that's good tho. Good sign, anyway. They didn't have to do that, so I appreciate it a lot.

It's the voice actors that get rejected the most, but overall everyone gets at first. Keep applying!

I've been applying for more than a year now so lol, but yeah principle still applies

I am truly sorry. The cynical part of me wants to suggest becoming a programmer or sysadmin, but that actually is more complex than a simple swap. I really do hope you're able to find animation work, soon.

ARgh, I don't have the proper mind for programming. Math and numbers and lines get me all a-stir, but I hear you. In these moments, it makes me want to become something random - like a landscaper or something.

Hey, that's only one job opportunity. There are always more.
Trust me, i know how hard it is to get one job, especially in the industry.
Keep trying. You're skilled enough and have come up with great ideas and art.
Prove that person wrong. Prove to yourself that you can do it. I have faith that you can.
And if you are legit thinking about changing careers, that's okay too. But I think animation is a good fit for you too.

That's so kind of you to say ;~; <333 I will try!! I don't know what my course of action is in general on a day-to-day basis, but we shall see what happens! I don't know what good fit for me is, but I guess no one can know until it happens, too! THanks so much for your support!! <333

Dang dude. :( I'm so sorry. That's just a load of crap. How awful to say to anyone, much less someone they don't even know!
It's some bad times now, but the good times are coming. Don't give up!

Yeah, it felt pretty miserable and I had a good cry. Getting yelled at like I'm a child by someone posturing like they're my parental figure doesn't exactly feel great :'|
I hope so ;o; /KEEPS FIGHTIN???

Every bump is another step on your journey, at least. I hope things pick up, and you can find something that can sustain you soon. I'm sorry about your friend's relations too - sounds really judgmental and like they don't really know you. Good luck, brother!

Thanks! Your words mean a lot! I just wish the road was just slightly less bumpy! :'D