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Update on my situation
9 years ago
General
Now broadcasting on all Braincast channels!!!
TL:DR
I am about to be homeless. I am asking for money
If you wish to help please send a donation to charpoketron [at] gmx.com
Welp I'll just lay down the skinny in a nutshell. In 6 days I will be homeless. We came to an agreement with the landlords lawyer to vacate in 1 week yesterday. So yeah I will be homeless soon and thats why my profile was disabled.
I had a huge mental breakdown prior to the court appearance during a game in league of legends. Which resulted in my lashing out in the worst way possible at my friends. Caused 1 of them to become a little more apprehensive towards me since that time. Got back into the voice server only to hear his thoughts on my actions. So yeah I've been in the shit can lately.
Do you know what makes this funny? I planned to be homeless just to spite my aunt. I want to be homeless...just so I can at least say I failed. I was able to fail at something and then get right back up from it. I need this experience in my life....I am a spoiled bastard of a man. I live off social security, I have no life, I have no job, I have no self respect. I treat people like they're toys for my amusement. Toys that won't bite back if I get abusive and crap. Well jokes on me in that regard and now I am paying for it. The end result? I actually couldn't be happier this is happening. This means I can attempt to restart my life in the proper direction.
Anyway.... unlike the previous journal. I am forced to swallow my pride. There were a few of you who were suggesting I take "gifts" and such. Thing is I never fully explained why I hate receiving money as a gift. Plain and simple it's due in part to how I was raised. I was raised to accept everything you receive in life as if it were a gift. But to me I simply learned that receiving another persons money makes me feel like shit. It causes me to overthink on somethings which causes me to worry. So I usually opt out of free money offers from anyone here. That and after the whole thing that happened with so many people on FA. I am simply scared of fucking up with the money I was given. But now I cannot think like this, I am in a general crisis here. So I need to accept help from any and every source I have.
I am about to be homeless. I am asking for money
If you wish to help please send a donation to charpoketron [at] gmx.com
Welp I'll just lay down the skinny in a nutshell. In 6 days I will be homeless. We came to an agreement with the landlords lawyer to vacate in 1 week yesterday. So yeah I will be homeless soon and thats why my profile was disabled.
I had a huge mental breakdown prior to the court appearance during a game in league of legends. Which resulted in my lashing out in the worst way possible at my friends. Caused 1 of them to become a little more apprehensive towards me since that time. Got back into the voice server only to hear his thoughts on my actions. So yeah I've been in the shit can lately.
Do you know what makes this funny? I planned to be homeless just to spite my aunt. I want to be homeless...just so I can at least say I failed. I was able to fail at something and then get right back up from it. I need this experience in my life....I am a spoiled bastard of a man. I live off social security, I have no life, I have no job, I have no self respect. I treat people like they're toys for my amusement. Toys that won't bite back if I get abusive and crap. Well jokes on me in that regard and now I am paying for it. The end result? I actually couldn't be happier this is happening. This means I can attempt to restart my life in the proper direction.
Anyway.... unlike the previous journal. I am forced to swallow my pride. There were a few of you who were suggesting I take "gifts" and such. Thing is I never fully explained why I hate receiving money as a gift. Plain and simple it's due in part to how I was raised. I was raised to accept everything you receive in life as if it were a gift. But to me I simply learned that receiving another persons money makes me feel like shit. It causes me to overthink on somethings which causes me to worry. So I usually opt out of free money offers from anyone here. That and after the whole thing that happened with so many people on FA. I am simply scared of fucking up with the money I was given. But now I cannot think like this, I am in a general crisis here. So I need to accept help from any and every source I have.
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Trades still owed:
wolfiecanem Sword render shown here http://www.furaffinity.net/full/6135359/ His side completed : http://www.furaffinity.net/view/6143203/
My side unfinished
Canceled by request
sciggles Render of her Laykien character as a cute wittle boxy all sleepy and cute.
Let
~let
Being homeless shouldn't be a way to motivate you into maturing yourself, Nanaki-kun. Regardless I hope you don't end up on the streets. That would be way too terrible.
NanakiSan
~nanakisan
OP
Sadly it's been what now? 5 years since my grandparents both passed away. During which I have not changed one single bit. I respond to extreme situations in order to adapt. When my roommate almost refused to keep me around due to my hygiene problems. I was forced to change to accommodate so I don't lose a friend. The same has to happen again but this time. I am being forced into something very strong and against my own odds.
NateEclipse
~nateeclipse
I don't know what's going on between us anymore, but I still see you as a brother. I'm on Social Security too, and every day I'm berated for being on it because "You should be able to work!" or "You can work, you're just too lazy!" or "You're full of crap, you don't have a mental illness you just look for the easy way out of everything!" and so on and so forth. I had to shut it all out because at the end of the day I know who I am and what my problems are better than anyone else. I'm sorry that you are having so many problems. If I could give you money I would in a heartbeat, but at the situation is right now I barely have enough extra to keep myself alive right now. I pray you don't end up homeless or worse. I'd trade places with you in a heartbeat, because I have been on the street once before and as much as it would scare me to go back to that I would rather me be there, knowing what to expect and how to handle myself, than you having to do it. I love you very much, you are my best friend that I have and on top of that you are my fur brother, and I see you as if you were a blood relative. I know it's hard and things seem like they won't get better, and I would love to say more than anyone that people that say that are lying, but I know how it feel to be in a deep depression every day of your life. It isn't fun and it isn't right, but at the same time you have to fight it. You have to believe you will make it through and show everyone that they were wrong about you. That's all you really can do, prove the people who said you couldn't wrong and show them that you are stronger than they thought. I will keep you in my thoughts and I pray you get a new home soon. I love you with all my heart, Nanaki. That will never change.
BigBadBeast
~bigbadbeast
Aw man... I'm so very sorry about all this... I wish I could help you out of this... You shouldn't have to do anything like this. .
