Hey Fuzzies, mostly posting just a check in. True to the nature of the disorder, my bipolar has had my moods swinging like crazy. A lot more down than up, but the ups have been pretty nice.

Spoke to my all time best friend for 45 minutes the other night on the phone... We met in 4th grade and even though we drifted in and out of each other's lives, every time we're back together, it's like no time has passed at all beyond the general run down of "hey, this is what's going on". He's not part of the fandom (but oh buddy I know he could have a great time & would make friends real easy), but he was one of the first people I felt safest coming out as bi to. Amusingly enough, that was a mutual thing. Anyway, he's living out in Los Angeles now & is both the manager of an art gallery and a life coach and a voice lesson coach. This guy can't sit still, is brilliant, and omg gorgeous. Like, was dating an underwear model named Ignacio gorgeous. Yeeeah, I've had the lowgrade crush on him five-ever, & he knows it, but we joke about it and are best friends. Anywho, he's going to help me out with finding beginner yoga stuff and recommendations for healthy recipes. I'm kinda excited about that.

I keep catching myself writing long texts to E wanting to ask what can I do to have him back, what would it take, what did I do wrong...and I'm better than that. I deserve to be loved & not have to give up major dreams. I deserve to not be ignored constantly and have to entertain someone just because they're too tired to do anything. ...blah. Still want closure that I'll probably never get, and I want my damn crockpot.

Also, binge watching one of my favorite Netflix Originals, "The Ranch". I <3 Sam Elliot the actor, and I'm almost liking Ashton Kutcher now lol.