SO STRESSFUL

Ok so about 2 hours ago, I engaged in a battle to the death with a hacker. Was the hacker any good? Who knows.
Was the hacker better than me?
Fuck yes.

I'm sitting here, dicking around in photoshop as I does when my phone beeps at me. Thinking it's another e-mail from my fictional Korean girlfriend, Jahee (yes I'm playing THAT game), I scoop it up. But no, it's not my lovely lady at all. It's a confirmation e-mail about my Paypal purchase I just made to some person in some sort of Asian country at an e-mail address I've never heard of.
I'm sitting here watching MLPFiM movies and drawing comics... when the ass did I buy something for only 2 dollars? Must be one of those skimming hackers. ugh.
Fine then. ill just change my password. easy peasy.

AND SO IT STARTS.

I go to edit my password.
Please log in to continue.
Huh? Log in. Change passw---please log in to continue.

Oh, you clever little bitch....

Log in.
Thank you for signing up for Paypal fast pay! With your cell, you can always be logged in for fast purchases!
I'm sorry WHAT?
No.
no no no no no no no no

Find the offender's phone. Delete.
Please log in.
FUCK
log in
find the offender's extremely girly e-mail address. delete
you need to be logged in to do that
LOG IN
DELETE
please log AIGGKHUDCLHDUFWEVLCHWEJDB -table flip-

CHANGE PASSWORD
we sent you an e-mail
log into e-mail
null error we can't access your email
FUCKING HELL WHAT ELSE IS SHE IN???

Ok. ok ok ok ok I can do this.
Hyperventilate for 3 minutes then call Paypal.

We see you are using such and such phone number. should we use this to access your account information?
silence.
......yes?
Ok. oh apparently it was a speech activated robot! cool! ok.
Nooooo problem. Please tell us the last 4 digits of the bank account attached to the Paypal account.
...........
I DONT KNOW THAT!!!!
Please say the numbers or say "please wait" while you locate it.
please wait
-rummage through documents-
please wait
-rummage through open tabs-
please wait
-look blankly at cheque book-
pleeease wait
-google which of these numbers on my cheque is my bank number-
ugh please WAIT this makes no sense why does this make no sense
-log into my bank on my phone and get it that way cuz fucking hell why didn't I think of that before-

So the lady there took some info, determined that my issue was above her pay grade, and connected me to their security department. The guy was really patient while I tried to unwind the knot in my chest. Couldn't breathe, could barely talk. Phone calls send me into spiraling pits of anxiety and I think he sensed my oncoming panic attack because he spent some extra time fiddling with his end, leaving me to breathe in the soft silence of the phone for a minute before we continued. Thank you, kind man, who's name I could not understand through your accent. You have no idea.

I explained the issue fully, we giggled over our mutual lack of password memory (i always tell my customers not to use password managers but I do it too! lawl we so dumb!) and he forced the hacker out of my account. Together we reset all the passwords, beefed up the security by adding a secondary password system through my phone for every login, and replaced all the money the cunt stole from my account on the spot.

He was SO KIND and patient with me T_T

But I did a big girl thing today! I talked to a stranger on the phone and I only cried once! I now deserve cookies and milk and game time because I have done more adulting today then I am comfortable with.

However, all my Patreon and commission monies are safe so your valuable contributions to the continued future of RTFMComics have not gone to waste!

@_@

What a day!