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9 years ago
Haven't done much here in a while, besides posting the recent Kimi story, so I thought I'd provide updates on some things for those interested.
General life
Been at my current job for 3.5 years now and doing well. After basically losing 5 years of my life to unemployment and NC, I've finally gotten comfortable having disposable income. Been playing more MTG and buying art commissions from people, something I wouldn't have done a couple years ago.
If you're interested in seeing any of the commissions, I either post them myself if I've done something with them, or I fave them:
http://www.furaffinity.net/favorites/xadera/
There's also some stuff I've posted to my InkBunny account and not here, due to some issues (and same deal with the faves).
https://inkbunny.net/Xadera
So yeah, that's cool.
Nimin
I've done a smaaalllll bit with Nimin. Actually got a bit of Jamie done, though still nowhere near ready for a release. I haven't had the time nor focus for Nimin lately. I have been really pushing to get myself out there to find that special someone, which means I don't spend much free time for creativity. And the looking for assistance has fallen through for the mostpart. There have been like 6+ people that I thought would be good to help write stuff, but they've all had things come up or lost interest. So... yeah. The thought has crossed my mind of just letting Nimin die and moving on with my life. At this point, the most I can consider is putting out one last small release so the new GUI can be out there, or maybe actually paying people to write for Nimin to incentivize it and setting up a Patreon to fund it (but still with the quality control).
Maybe if I find a girlfriend, then I might be more inclined to allow myself to spend more time on the game. I just really need to focus on the former though.
Girlfriend
I want somebody in my life. Plain and simple. For some people it's super easy; "Yeah, we accidentally bumped into each other and hit it off". I don't know how they do it and they must be super lucky to have found each other. I, however, can't depend on luck. My family lacks luck, to the point where we share how crazily stupid the universe can be for us on a rather consistent basis as humorous stories. So, I need to put in effort to find somebody like that.
I've joined dating sites, both pay and free, and messaged plenty of girls that seemed like we'd have quite a lot in common and I'd be their type too. But never get a response. Except for the one girl we started getting into a good connection with while I was dealing with my grandparents' funeral and my friend's grave. But she turned out to be a catfishing account that got banned by OkCupid, so that didn't feel too good.
I've gone to at least 5 conventions in the past year, I've gone to meetups, I've gone to board-game nights; I've basically spent 3 weekends out of every 4 doing something to get the chance of a connection. Even my days off are spent going to more places. And don't get me wrong, I've met a few awesome girls. But they're either already in a relationship, or they're focusing more on their own life, or I'm unlucky/dumb and don't exchange numbers in time before we never see each other again. Weeee.
Not giving up on that though. At least I've seen it's possible, even if it's been rather improbable. I try to laugh it off, but it can get a bit disheartening of course. None of my friends have potential girls they can hook me up with, and nobody has approached me themselves. Even got nothing with the related journal, though that's not surprising. Approaching someone you don't know is hard, and I've kinda shown I enjoy some especially weird things here which could turn many people off. Yet at the same time, I feel like I'm more likely to find a girl that meshes well if she's into at least a couple of the things I've done here, than I would through other avenues. I think I'd like the shy girl that doesn't use the dating sites or meetups or whatever, but then how do we ever possibly meet? Such a catch-22.
So yeah, I'll keep pushing forward until I find somebody. I have the stable income and savings to basically support a family at this point, so looking to start one seems like a good idea. And despite my lack of intimate relationship experience, I think I've done rather well with all my other relationships so far. Being a 30 year old virgin is a bit embarrassing too, but come on, I've probably got more sexual knowledge than people who've been having sex for 30 years XD I'm really looking forward to making a girl orgasm for a few hours straight, I just need to find the person I want to do that for.
Midwest Furfest
I will be there again this year. This will be my third year of the con and I'm more comfortable with it. Looking forward to seeing some people again. Aaand try to network some more for a better girlfriending chance. Fortunately, I'm not the type of crazy that goes around stalking girls, so if my rant above frightens you over unwanted flirting or chasing, don't worry. I'm respectful and a pretty approachable guy; I just lament my lack of luck, lol. But, if you're reading this and you'll be there too and might wanna meet up to say hi, message me and I'm sure we can. Sadly, though, I don't think many single girls in my range show up to the con, but I can't shut out the possibility either.
Should be fun otherwise. I'll probably be getting another bag of dicks to pass out.
Well, that's all for my spiel today. Helps me sort out some of my own thoughts too, so it's almost therapeutic. Now to sleep so I can go to yet another meetup tomorrow after spending most of today out as well.
General life
Been at my current job for 3.5 years now and doing well. After basically losing 5 years of my life to unemployment and NC, I've finally gotten comfortable having disposable income. Been playing more MTG and buying art commissions from people, something I wouldn't have done a couple years ago.
If you're interested in seeing any of the commissions, I either post them myself if I've done something with them, or I fave them:
http://www.furaffinity.net/favorites/xadera/
There's also some stuff I've posted to my InkBunny account and not here, due to some issues (and same deal with the faves).
https://inkbunny.net/Xadera
So yeah, that's cool.
Nimin
I've done a smaaalllll bit with Nimin. Actually got a bit of Jamie done, though still nowhere near ready for a release. I haven't had the time nor focus for Nimin lately. I have been really pushing to get myself out there to find that special someone, which means I don't spend much free time for creativity. And the looking for assistance has fallen through for the mostpart. There have been like 6+ people that I thought would be good to help write stuff, but they've all had things come up or lost interest. So... yeah. The thought has crossed my mind of just letting Nimin die and moving on with my life. At this point, the most I can consider is putting out one last small release so the new GUI can be out there, or maybe actually paying people to write for Nimin to incentivize it and setting up a Patreon to fund it (but still with the quality control).
Maybe if I find a girlfriend, then I might be more inclined to allow myself to spend more time on the game. I just really need to focus on the former though.
Girlfriend
I want somebody in my life. Plain and simple. For some people it's super easy; "Yeah, we accidentally bumped into each other and hit it off". I don't know how they do it and they must be super lucky to have found each other. I, however, can't depend on luck. My family lacks luck, to the point where we share how crazily stupid the universe can be for us on a rather consistent basis as humorous stories. So, I need to put in effort to find somebody like that.
I've joined dating sites, both pay and free, and messaged plenty of girls that seemed like we'd have quite a lot in common and I'd be their type too. But never get a response. Except for the one girl we started getting into a good connection with while I was dealing with my grandparents' funeral and my friend's grave. But she turned out to be a catfishing account that got banned by OkCupid, so that didn't feel too good.
I've gone to at least 5 conventions in the past year, I've gone to meetups, I've gone to board-game nights; I've basically spent 3 weekends out of every 4 doing something to get the chance of a connection. Even my days off are spent going to more places. And don't get me wrong, I've met a few awesome girls. But they're either already in a relationship, or they're focusing more on their own life, or I'm unlucky/dumb and don't exchange numbers in time before we never see each other again. Weeee.
Not giving up on that though. At least I've seen it's possible, even if it's been rather improbable. I try to laugh it off, but it can get a bit disheartening of course. None of my friends have potential girls they can hook me up with, and nobody has approached me themselves. Even got nothing with the related journal, though that's not surprising. Approaching someone you don't know is hard, and I've kinda shown I enjoy some especially weird things here which could turn many people off. Yet at the same time, I feel like I'm more likely to find a girl that meshes well if she's into at least a couple of the things I've done here, than I would through other avenues. I think I'd like the shy girl that doesn't use the dating sites or meetups or whatever, but then how do we ever possibly meet? Such a catch-22.
So yeah, I'll keep pushing forward until I find somebody. I have the stable income and savings to basically support a family at this point, so looking to start one seems like a good idea. And despite my lack of intimate relationship experience, I think I've done rather well with all my other relationships so far. Being a 30 year old virgin is a bit embarrassing too, but come on, I've probably got more sexual knowledge than people who've been having sex for 30 years XD I'm really looking forward to making a girl orgasm for a few hours straight, I just need to find the person I want to do that for.
Midwest Furfest
I will be there again this year. This will be my third year of the con and I'm more comfortable with it. Looking forward to seeing some people again. Aaand try to network some more for a better girlfriending chance. Fortunately, I'm not the type of crazy that goes around stalking girls, so if my rant above frightens you over unwanted flirting or chasing, don't worry. I'm respectful and a pretty approachable guy; I just lament my lack of luck, lol. But, if you're reading this and you'll be there too and might wanna meet up to say hi, message me and I'm sure we can. Sadly, though, I don't think many single girls in my range show up to the con, but I can't shut out the possibility either.
Should be fun otherwise. I'll probably be getting another bag of dicks to pass out.
Well, that's all for my spiel today. Helps me sort out some of my own thoughts too, so it's almost therapeutic. Now to sleep so I can go to yet another meetup tomorrow after spending most of today out as well.
Dating someone and finding out they aren't the one can really hurt, but you cannot let that cloud you. You have to push forward
I know you'll find someone!
Best of luck with the search. I'm sure you'll find someone. :)
Oh, and it would be nice to say hi at MFF! Hopefully I can see you there.
Cool :) I'll have this badge on, so if you see it feel free to poke me:
http://www.furaffinity.net/view/15157539/
Don't know what the layout is this year otherwise, so I can't say much beyond that just yet XD
Good luck with your search, I'll be cheering you on. :)
I hope you will find someone. Don't feel bad about being 30 and virgin. I understand how it feel, it just gonna take some time to find the right person. Good Luck on your search pal :3
And thanks ^^
http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/6898586/
Not worth it. Not worth it. Not worth it. Too dangerous.
While the choice is ultimately up to you, I'd advise you to give it a long hard thought about whether or not it is worth the risks. I don't go around dating irl, the dangers aren't worth it IMO. Just one mistake/misunderstanding or whatever is all it takes for shit to hit the fan.
It takes time and understanding and effort for a relationship to work well and can be quite an investment. But the profits of that investment can be extremely rewarding, making both lives better for it.
I'm sorry your friends had such bad experiences. I'm wary of getting into relationships where those kinds of results are even possible, which is partially why I've gone so long without one. Yet everything that's worth anything in life is a risk to take, and it's just kinda something you have to accept and take into account if you want to continue living. Not that you should find one yourself, but that's how I see it for myself.