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Professor Summer's NFL Week 6 Jinxes
9 years ago
Good morning sports fans! Today the big spandex clad men are back to concuss one another and shorten their life expectancies for your viewing enjoyment and my profit. Your favorite glasses and labcoat (and nothing else http://www.furaffinity.net/view/21125763/ new pic for 2016!) wearing skunkette has studied the spreads, and is here to give you the tip.
Well this has been a tough year for me so far....but the law of averages means that eventually I'll start sniffing out winners on a more regular basis. Of course, there's also the possibility that I don't have the winning touch just yet. Time will tell. As always, we're looking to go 3-0 on a parlay, small time bet for big time winnings. Let's go!
Game #1 Cincinnati Bengals (+7.5) at New England Fuckbois
The Pick: Cincinnati +7.5
~Last week saw the vengeful return of Tom Brady go exactly as predicted, with the Fuckbois absolutely murdering the hapless Cleveland Browns. This week, the Fuckbois return home with their hero quarterback to play the other team from Ohio. With apologies to
dastiger I'm sticking with Cinci this week. Not only are they capable of an upset here, they're desperate for a win to get back in to the AFC North race. If they lose, I'm hoping it will be within the 7 and a half point cushion they're being given.
RESULT Cincinnati failed to keep the game within a touchdown's difference. LOSS
Game #2 Jacksonville Jaguars (+1.5) at Chicago Bears
The Pick: Jacksonville +1.5
~Jacksonville only beats teams worse than they are. The Bears are pretty terrible, and a mess at the quarterback position. I like Jacksonville to win straight up here, based mostly on a hunch I admit, but yeah. I'm not going to overthink this one.
RESULT - Jaguars win, 17-16. WIN
Game #3 Philadelphia Eagles (-3) at Washington Racistnames
The Pick: Philly -3
~I believe that last week the Eagles got the bad beat out of their system. This is a conference game, and I'm sticking with my feeling that both Kirk Cousins and the Racistnames are garbage. With apologies to
julietskunkbutt I am once again jinxing her team, laying down three points and taking the Eagles here.
RESULT - I might have to admit that Washington isn't as bad as I want them to be. LOSS
State of Summer's Buffalo Bills.
~After a surprising three game winning streak, we have a season in Buffalo! The games still matter, and that's actually saying a lot after how dispiriting the 0-2 start to the season was. The Bills are favored today, at home against San Fransisco. Controversial figure Colin Kaepernik is starting at QB for the first time this season, and frankly I'm a bit worried. Between motivation, the potential story line of a good performance, and the constant threat of letdown by my favorite team, I'm afraid to let my hopes get too high for this game, even though no matter how much I protect my feelings, I'll still be devastated if Buffalo blows this game.
Season Results 7 correct, 10 wrong, 1 tie
Well this has been a tough year for me so far....but the law of averages means that eventually I'll start sniffing out winners on a more regular basis. Of course, there's also the possibility that I don't have the winning touch just yet. Time will tell. As always, we're looking to go 3-0 on a parlay, small time bet for big time winnings. Let's go!
Game #1 Cincinnati Bengals (+7.5) at New England Fuckbois
The Pick: Cincinnati +7.5
~Last week saw the vengeful return of Tom Brady go exactly as predicted, with the Fuckbois absolutely murdering the hapless Cleveland Browns. This week, the Fuckbois return home with their hero quarterback to play the other team from Ohio. With apologies to
dastiger I'm sticking with Cinci this week. Not only are they capable of an upset here, they're desperate for a win to get back in to the AFC North race. If they lose, I'm hoping it will be within the 7 and a half point cushion they're being given.RESULT Cincinnati failed to keep the game within a touchdown's difference. LOSS
Game #2 Jacksonville Jaguars (+1.5) at Chicago Bears
The Pick: Jacksonville +1.5
~Jacksonville only beats teams worse than they are. The Bears are pretty terrible, and a mess at the quarterback position. I like Jacksonville to win straight up here, based mostly on a hunch I admit, but yeah. I'm not going to overthink this one.
RESULT - Jaguars win, 17-16. WIN
Game #3 Philadelphia Eagles (-3) at Washington Racistnames
The Pick: Philly -3
~I believe that last week the Eagles got the bad beat out of their system. This is a conference game, and I'm sticking with my feeling that both Kirk Cousins and the Racistnames are garbage. With apologies to
julietskunkbutt I am once again jinxing her team, laying down three points and taking the Eagles here.RESULT - I might have to admit that Washington isn't as bad as I want them to be. LOSS
State of Summer's Buffalo Bills.
~After a surprising three game winning streak, we have a season in Buffalo! The games still matter, and that's actually saying a lot after how dispiriting the 0-2 start to the season was. The Bills are favored today, at home against San Fransisco. Controversial figure Colin Kaepernik is starting at QB for the first time this season, and frankly I'm a bit worried. Between motivation, the potential story line of a good performance, and the constant threat of letdown by my favorite team, I'm afraid to let my hopes get too high for this game, even though no matter how much I protect my feelings, I'll still be devastated if Buffalo blows this game.
Season Results 7 correct, 10 wrong, 1 tie
JulietSkunkButt
~julietskunkbutt
Good luck to your Bills! And thank you for the Jinx, I'm feeling pretty confident that the Washington Team will be as mediocre as usual. Fingers crossed!
rocksteady
~rocksteady
Eagles gonna put in work. Respect it.
SettaFlamowitz
~settaflamowitz
Well, one out of three isn't bad as a baseball batting average. Anti-Patriotism isn't doing that season average much good, though.
Summer
~summer
OP
lol, usually I pick them to cover whatever spread they're up against, because they like to run up the score. I thought Cincy was good enough to hang with them, though. The hate is from them having a stranglehold on my favorite team's division for the last 15 years
SettaFlamowitz
~settaflamowitz
Just think - if they'd done a more sensible realignment and put Indy in the AFC East and Miami in the AFC South (thereby reducing everyone's annual travel schedule significantly), it could've been Brady AND Manning to get past!
Kelenae
~kelenae
...I demand to see your papers saying you're a professor mrs Rain!
