I was gone for a while. Needed to collect my thoughts. To summarize I was being overwhelmed by a lot of things and then to top it all of a friend of mine got in an accident and some of my friends were blaming me. I didn't feel responsible because its not like I could've done anything about it. In fact I would have been just as injured if I was there. Its kind of complicated. But with my family calling me garbage and my friends calling me garbage and my being sick and already feeling like a loser things got out of hand real quick.

As for my friend. He is not ok. His insurance is covering everything and his family has lots of money but of course that's not going to fix this. He was hit by a car going at least 50mph. That's 80.4kph for you metrics who watch me. To put simply, he's fucked up. If he even wakes up he's going to have a hard time. Shattered skull, massive organ trauma, lungs punctured by his own ribs and lots more. We are not the closest friends by any means and I am so used to watching people die. So I guess it doesn't faze me like it does everyone else. Which I think might be why some of my other friends are mad. We were walking down the street and I decided to stop at a gas station to get a drink, and told him I'd catch up. When I get outside I see a car nail him and a keeps going until it nailed a few other cars in a parking lot. With how badly he was injured I don't know if my cls training even did anything. I didn't even have a kit or anything. So I had to use his shirt as gauze and try to fashion a tourniquet out of an old belt made of decaying leather. We don't know what caused the driver to do what he did. All we know is that he's not with us anymore. But my friends are saying that I could have stopped it. Cause, you know, I'm a tank and can just do that. His family isn't mad at all. They're just glad I knew what I knew and that we were down the street from the hospital. But with all that said and done who knows how he'll recover if at all. I hope so. He's a nice guy, and I want to get to know him more. He's talented in architectural design and could do so much with his life. Probably even more than me. But if he dies then I guess it's just another friend who bit the dust while I was near.

All in all its been a shitty and intense time. I needed to hide away and recover. I have been on here once or twice but I was in an area without constant satellite coverage so I could only get on at certain times of the day. Its a secret place far from my home.