So to followup to the last Journal... If there is one thing I've learned over the course of my life is that Fate is a strange beast. It will taunt you, break you, and then when you're ready to just give up, move on, walk away...

It decides to reward you...

So I got back from Anime Fusion last weekend and something unprecedented happened. I got contacted on the Dating sites I'm on by three gals at the same time.

One was nice but not really my type (though had she been the only one who contacted me I might have seen where it went..) one was downright Crazy and was sending red flags up left and right. But the other...

This is where things get even more interesting. Apparently she talked to me years ago before I met my Ex. At the time I was far too shy to ask her out- this was back before I had any real dating experience to speak of. So the Conversation ended, we went our own ways, dated different people, and this week it came Full Circle.

I was a little embarrassed that I didn't remember her, but at the same time was flattered that she remembered me.

She's nerdy, geeky, a hardcore tabletop and Pen and Paper RPGer. It wasn't hard to figure out why I had shown an interest in her before many years ago, especially at that time when I was a very hard core gamer.

I didn't have to repeat myself about the Furry thing either, she brought it up "Oh yeah, you were the one who was into the Furry thing and went to the Convention in Chicago every year" "...yeah... I guess that would have been me D:". No Malice, spite or hesitation IE "I'm not really sure about that.." on her tone when she said it either. It felt... refreshing not to have to get up on a soapbox and explain "Why Furry isn't as Sick and Twisted as the Media portrays us as".

We went on a date on Tuesday. It went incredibly well; we've been talking daily since. I'm not holding my breath, and I told her the most important thing is to make Friends, and that I don't want someone who is holding something back or trying to change who they are to make me happy. I want genuine, sincere, honest; and she seems to want the same thing.

I'm not holding my breath; I know what it's like to be rejected or feel not wanted after one date, a few dates or strung out over a longer period of time... Infact the wound is still very fresh from the gal I dated a month ago who was very much not being who she really was in an attempt to "see the other side of me". That hurt, a lot.

But I'm giving this one last shot. If this doesn't work out... I'm taking a LONG break from dating for sure. And if it does... I'll have learned another important lesson in life:

That sometimes you need to be pushed to the edge, you need to have Failure and disappointment; and just when you are defeated and ready to throw in the white flag to surrender: Fate intervenes and gives you the very reward you've been seeking and fighting for.

Again... I'm not holding my breath. But it feels really good to have Hope again. This year has been a very defining year for me; and I'm looking for that happy ending. Maybe I'll actually get it...