Hello everyone!

This is  threetails, a long-time friend of Jarrell's and an early member of RA. He's asked me to make some posts here so I thought an intro to my journey would be a good start.

I came from a very conservative Evangelical background, growing up mostly in South Carolina in the 80s and 90s. I was around when the megachurches really started becoming a thing, and I got caught up in the politics of it all.

But in the 2000s I fell out of it. I started questioning the politics behind a lot of what was being preached, and I realized that I was attracted to men.

I took my faith seriously though. I decided to investigate the claims of pro-LGBT theologians and apologists rather than just writing them off. The results of that early searching formed my contribution to the "Yes, Jesus Loves Me" Bible study on the Rainbow Ark website.

I got deep into theology and apologetics for a while, then I had the ambitious goal of actually trying to piece together the true, original Christian doctrine. Of course, better and more seasoned theologians had already stumbled on that and I was ultimately not prepared for this. In the end, the confusion of what was "true" and "essential" led me to spend several years as an atheist.

I had some spiritual experiences in 2009-2010 and explored Wicca for a while. I don't regret looking into it but it wasn't what I was looking for. Ultimately, it did cause me to take stock of who I really was as a person and I discovered two things about myself: first, that I have always been a dyed-in-the-wool intuitive, mystical, and spiritual person; and second, that I wasn't a gay man like I thought I was. I was transgender.

Facing those two things simultaneously while negotiating a cross-country move and some very difficult times in my life was a very challenging thing to go through. Ultimately, about the same time my gender dysphoria hit critical mass, I had an extremely powerful mystical experience. I underwent what is known, in mystical circles, as ego death; the person I thought I was for most of my life had been stripped away and I was made aware of a certain "penultimate truth" about my identity.

These experiences led me to explore Buddhism for a while, which I still have a lot of respect for. Then came my foray into Gnosticism. I was already familiar with the Gnostic texts from my first look at theology back in 2004-2006, but I had initially written them off because of their later date and because I simply didn't get them. But after everything that had happened, it all made sense to me.

I began going to a local Gnostic church in Portland a while back. I had looked into a bunch of different ones, but some of the Gnostic movements were into some really dark things that I wasn't comfortable with. In the end I found one called Ecclesia Gnostica (NOT to be confused with "Ecclesia Gnostica Catholica" which is an offshoot of OTO). EG is exoteric (shared teachings), has open communion, and follows a relatively traditional Christian mass derived from the Liberal Catholic Church.

Is it for everyone? No. And we don't pretend to be. But for my part I found I was happy enough there that I am now a lay server and studying to eventually join the priesthood. My bishop knows I'm trans and has been extremely supportive all the way.

I actually have my own group at  gnosticfurs to post my more uniquely Gnostic ideas so I'm not here to promote gnostic Christianity, though I haven't updated in a while. In the mean time, I'll be happy to share some of my broader thoughts on the role of the Christian in the world and the role of LGBT people in the church. If anyone has specific questions about the Gnostic tradition or about my personal journey feel free to ask.

Blessings,
Three