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As some of you may already know from reading my last journal, my uncle recently passed away.
It was a hard time for my entire family, but I took it especially hard since I am so far away from home.
My uncle and I were becoming closer in the last year, I was really looking forward to spending more time with him when I got home..
I'm too upset to deal with much, the majority of my aunts and uncles are sick and seeing them pass away is never easy, whether it's a surprise or if it's been coming for years.

To deal with this death and my health in general, I needed a lot of personal time. For that, I apologize as I was just getting back into the swing of things. It seems no matter how hard I try I just keep on getting knocked down.
I took time to mourn and rest, after that I started working out. I've been eating well & exercising for the last month, doing so in a very balanced manner as not to lose more weight but to gain strength. Slowly but surely, it's been proving effective. I feel mentally and physically healthier every day.
I'm still very sad but I'm still fighting.

My financial stability is not good. It never has been, but someday I'd like to think that it will be.
I keep practicing what little talents I have and my hopes grow higher everyday. I won't see any dreamed about outings or a nice home anytime soon, but if I just keep strong then maybe I'll be able to keep strengthening my assets and talents, enabling me to sell something to support myself.

If anyone's wondering, my computer is on it's last leg. As you know, the battery and hard drive are both going. the rest of it is very old and the poor thing putts away but it's really at the end of it's line.
It has been working out for me thus far, but I fear if I don't get a new one soon, that's the end of this for me. I'm not gonna lie. I'd love a computer that /works/ for social media, as this one doesn't allow me to use anything since it has such a hard time with Facebook, telegram, twitter, etc.
The three social networking tools that I seem to need these days.
I can still connect to Skype for some reason, but calls are an almost no-no.
I can still use Sai, thank goodness, and I believe I may always be able to until it gives up, but that feels sooner than ever before.. and I frankly am at a loss for what I'm going to do in terms of keeping up with anyone via FA or Skype then. I'll be completely shut off from people on the web.

Maybe I should just give up then? I dunno. I really don't want to. I just don't.
I'd like to be able to catch up with my friends from time to time and sell digital art, characters, designs, etc. and eventually start up my fursuiting business but no money means no investment and no investment means, you guessed it, no money.

I feel like I'm just jabbering now. Who's gonna really care?
Probably plenty of people, just not enough to buy from me right now so I can actually have a future here.
Or that's how I feel anyways.
Am I gonna keep trying, despite health issues, despite deaths, despite soon not having a computer to work from? Yes. Just keep in mind, the reason I keep disappearing is because I don't have the amount of support I need to continue here strongly. I need a better foundation, and that means monetarily. So, here I go again. Sad, but determined. I haven't given up thus far, why give up now?

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