I'd love to be in a stream provided I'm awake lol

It is important to be able to do things alone, but there is nothing wrong with having other people be around to help quiet the critic in you. It is important to look at and fix errors, but it is also important to have positive reinforcement. You should never feel the need to stop doing what you love! (Unless what you love doing is murder, than we would be very happy if you decided to stop)

It is such a deep rooted impulse. I am working on it very slowly and I can be quite fragile at times.

These things require patience. No need to rush.

It has been hard to build myself up. Lately it has been a spiral downward to due a increased busy schedule. You think going to school for animation would be exciting but I can't seem to click with anyone and that makes it all the more draining on me. Its been nothing but work for over a couple of months with very little time for me to enjoy company. I can bare not hanging for a week but over a month has gotten me into a mess of a state

Have you tried joining clubs that do not involve animation? Sometimes you need to just do something else for awhile, while still being with other people. My brother finds it very difficult to open up to people, and as much as he loves engineering he often finds himself stressed out from it. He found himself much calmer and more sociable after he joined the cooking club.

It is not certain to work, as no solution is perfect, but it might help you meet some people and help keep your mind off work for awhile. And if you join a cooking club, you could try some interesting food.