hey hey i thought i would do an update because i felt like i need to do one

so i have a few commissions to do (three of them, two for someone here and one for a school friend) and i have already scheduled some work days for them. (wednesday, saturday and sunday.)
thats fine and dandy but i also made this journal for a little more uh? personal shit

anyways

i'm going through a lot of stress right now because I'm doing what I can to just... cope with my bpd. I'm getting there, and I can tell, so i'm proud of that. I've already learned to cope well with my ptsd so thats also good. but my main concern now is... depression. plain ol simple as fuck depression.
i'm so unmotivated to work on anything for school or for myself. Hell, I even lack caring for myself at this point as I just sit on my computer all day and just rot.
I'm taking a lot of sick days (im allowed to bc of mental illness thank fuck) and i? idk

i'm just so stressed out and one of the Biggest reasons why I am is because of not talking to my best friend in what, about a month? i'm so stressed abt that because its just that I miss them. not only that but i just feel so terrible about all my missing assignments because i never do anything anymore. i just get home and start fuckin' drawing or i just talk to my boyfriend and... that's literally all i have the energy to do.
my depression lately has just been skyrocketing, and hopefully when i'm talking to my bff again AND im on winter break, i'll feel better.
but for now i just am gonna mope


sigh

i just wish i could do something good for myself for once