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Important: Living with someone mentally ill...get help
9 years ago
I am posting this portion of my sisters journal to update you all on family life and because I agree with everything said here..
"I wanna talk about this. I'm leaving out names for my families privacy but I feel like I need to talk about it. I don't know if anyone can relate, or maybe this can reach out and help someone you know or love. I hope maybe it can help someone. I'm not looking for a pity party, I want to bring awareness and maybe some of you are going through this or went through it and can give advice.
My uncle is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, suffers from depression, and also deals with addiction. Mostly is a severe alcoholic.
his whole life he's always been odd and a trouble maker and had issues, and as he grew older he became a severe alcoholic. at 34 now he drinks up to a 30 pack a day. There are times he doesn't drink which is rare and his reasoning for drinking though he doesn't admit it is to self medicate. Unfortunately my grandparents at a young age lost their second daughter to her mental illness so..there were times they enabled him.
He's always had issues. It was back in 2008-2009 his mental state started to decline and there was clear something was very wrong. My graduation party was ruined because of his drinking and state of mind, that lead to police being called. It wasn't the first time he had been arrested nor would be the last. Unfortunately every time he got out specifically this time his mental state SEVERELY DECREASED.
resulting in him believing aliens were out to get him, the electronics had voices, bodies in the floor, just to name some of the things. He tore up my grandparents home digging for the bodies and the portal to hell he claimed was there. He was very sick.
It was in 2010-2011 that the peek of his problems occurred. My uncle suffered a severe psychotic break that resulted in police, swat, and a 8 hour stand off after he was stuck in a hallucination believing my grandmother was the devil and tried to kill her. He saw the world outside as hell.
After that he was legally and clinically diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic, for 2 years he was on medication with a required court ordered monthly shot. He no longer suffered any of the symptoms that he was having and he drank less. He was doing better. There were no more voices.
It was suddenly 2 years ago he went into see his counselor, and met a new person that was taking over and they dropped him. No meds. No therapy, no plan. NOTHING. just threw him out into the wind. This is something very unfortunate that happens to a lot of mentally ill people.
We were upset and frustrated. This is NOT something that just goes away.
over the 2 years he declined. His state of mind got worse and worse and worse. The holidays last year were ruined due to his episodes.
Since about march this year things got worse. His drinking increased to the 30 pack plus a day. He didn't sleep, didn't eat. When he did sleep it was for an hour. Over the past few months it got really really bad. He attacked my other uncle (his brother). The voices and everything were back and even worse than last time he hears them constantly not just occasionally.
Early this Novemeber it came to a head as he showed up at my families home. He was having a full on psychotic break. Seeing things. Believed everyone was dead, he was jesus. He became dangerous to himself and others and after I called the police he ran.
They searched for him with no luck.
He returned to our home the next morning missing some of his clothing. Still hallucinating, believing he was shot last night and his feet were bloody. There were no injuries on him.
during which we placed him in chapter 51, which normally is a 72 hour hold. His state was severe enough they kept him for 2 weeks since he mentally could not handle anything and was violent so he had to stay under armed guard hidden in the hospital. He was a safety hazard to even be moved.
We were trying to undergo the process to have him inpatient committed. On his own out patient, he would not take meds or anything. He's known for lying and faking his way out of it. Which in the end after 2 and a half weeks held in the hospital is what happened. His lawyer got him to sign even in his state a deal. No self harm to himself, threatening to harm himself, others, objects, no drinking, no drugs, meds all must be taken, mandatory therapy and weekly doctor visits.
they left him to do all this ,a man that believes he has nothing wrong with him, in a home with my grandparents (my gma who works and gpa who works and also has some physical disability) to take care of him.
they just...let him go. It was...a really big loss in trying to get him help. He needed that inpatient treatment to get him started on the right path before trying out patient treatment.
My mother (his sister) is afraid of him. My family and I are afraid of him. We knew it was only a matter of time till he messed up. Lastnight was that night, as he called drunk, I'm not on meds (as my gma confirmed he's not taking them and is refusing to go to his appointments) as he was hallucinating, and threatening my family and I.
We now get to deal with trying to get him committed, per contract if its breached he goes back and goes into court to be involuntarily committed.
My whole point of this journal is to bring awareness. If you know someone who is ill...who is suffering. DO NOT IGNORE THE SIGNS. Do not enable their addictions. You may say "Ill get them help tomorrow." there could be no tomorrow for them. These problems do not go away. They don't just fix themselves. Talk to your loved ones, do what you can to help them.
There is nothing worse than watching a loved one deteriorate into nothing. My uncle wasn't always like this. He's the man that taught me how to throw a football so I could play and beat the boys. That showed me Jim carrey movies, and played GI joes with me and dinosaurs, that would take me and my sisters river rafting. He's a man that when lucid he loves his family, adored my sibling and I. That wanted a family of his own.
but because we didn't know the signs...because actions weren't taken, because my grandparents enabled his drinking when he was young. It has come to a point I don't think we've seen my real uncle in maybe 10 years. I don't think he knows himself.
If you know someone going through this. Don't ignore it. Research. Do what you can to talk to them, before things escalate. Before it becomes impossible to reach that person. Don't ignore them.
Again my purpose for this journal wasn't for a "boo hoo pity journal." it was to reach out to anyone that might be going through things as well, maybe personally, maybe through a friend. I'm here to talk and listen."
This is where my sister's post and mine differ. I am adding my own thoughts to this.
As she said my family and I do not feel safe. I plan on getting a restraining order against my uncle much to the hate and anger my mom is sending my way now. The only thing my uncle understands is when you say 'Jail' he stops what he's doing in fear of going back... A restraining order makes it so all I have to do is call and he'll be whisked away and I will be safe. My family I live with will be safe.. I can finally feel safe. The only thing it won't do is protect my grandparents from him. I'm sure they will hate me for getting one as well, but I should not have to feel unsafe in my home. I shouldnt have to worry about him hurting someone I live with.. And if it means I'll be hated for a while by my mom then so be it. I will at least know of I'm around she will be safe from him and he won't set foot near the house.
"I wanna talk about this. I'm leaving out names for my families privacy but I feel like I need to talk about it. I don't know if anyone can relate, or maybe this can reach out and help someone you know or love. I hope maybe it can help someone. I'm not looking for a pity party, I want to bring awareness and maybe some of you are going through this or went through it and can give advice.
My uncle is a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, suffers from depression, and also deals with addiction. Mostly is a severe alcoholic.
his whole life he's always been odd and a trouble maker and had issues, and as he grew older he became a severe alcoholic. at 34 now he drinks up to a 30 pack a day. There are times he doesn't drink which is rare and his reasoning for drinking though he doesn't admit it is to self medicate. Unfortunately my grandparents at a young age lost their second daughter to her mental illness so..there were times they enabled him.
He's always had issues. It was back in 2008-2009 his mental state started to decline and there was clear something was very wrong. My graduation party was ruined because of his drinking and state of mind, that lead to police being called. It wasn't the first time he had been arrested nor would be the last. Unfortunately every time he got out specifically this time his mental state SEVERELY DECREASED.
resulting in him believing aliens were out to get him, the electronics had voices, bodies in the floor, just to name some of the things. He tore up my grandparents home digging for the bodies and the portal to hell he claimed was there. He was very sick.
It was in 2010-2011 that the peek of his problems occurred. My uncle suffered a severe psychotic break that resulted in police, swat, and a 8 hour stand off after he was stuck in a hallucination believing my grandmother was the devil and tried to kill her. He saw the world outside as hell.
After that he was legally and clinically diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic, for 2 years he was on medication with a required court ordered monthly shot. He no longer suffered any of the symptoms that he was having and he drank less. He was doing better. There were no more voices.
It was suddenly 2 years ago he went into see his counselor, and met a new person that was taking over and they dropped him. No meds. No therapy, no plan. NOTHING. just threw him out into the wind. This is something very unfortunate that happens to a lot of mentally ill people.
We were upset and frustrated. This is NOT something that just goes away.
over the 2 years he declined. His state of mind got worse and worse and worse. The holidays last year were ruined due to his episodes.
Since about march this year things got worse. His drinking increased to the 30 pack plus a day. He didn't sleep, didn't eat. When he did sleep it was for an hour. Over the past few months it got really really bad. He attacked my other uncle (his brother). The voices and everything were back and even worse than last time he hears them constantly not just occasionally.
Early this Novemeber it came to a head as he showed up at my families home. He was having a full on psychotic break. Seeing things. Believed everyone was dead, he was jesus. He became dangerous to himself and others and after I called the police he ran.
They searched for him with no luck.
He returned to our home the next morning missing some of his clothing. Still hallucinating, believing he was shot last night and his feet were bloody. There were no injuries on him.
during which we placed him in chapter 51, which normally is a 72 hour hold. His state was severe enough they kept him for 2 weeks since he mentally could not handle anything and was violent so he had to stay under armed guard hidden in the hospital. He was a safety hazard to even be moved.
We were trying to undergo the process to have him inpatient committed. On his own out patient, he would not take meds or anything. He's known for lying and faking his way out of it. Which in the end after 2 and a half weeks held in the hospital is what happened. His lawyer got him to sign even in his state a deal. No self harm to himself, threatening to harm himself, others, objects, no drinking, no drugs, meds all must be taken, mandatory therapy and weekly doctor visits.
they left him to do all this ,a man that believes he has nothing wrong with him, in a home with my grandparents (my gma who works and gpa who works and also has some physical disability) to take care of him.
they just...let him go. It was...a really big loss in trying to get him help. He needed that inpatient treatment to get him started on the right path before trying out patient treatment.
My mother (his sister) is afraid of him. My family and I are afraid of him. We knew it was only a matter of time till he messed up. Lastnight was that night, as he called drunk, I'm not on meds (as my gma confirmed he's not taking them and is refusing to go to his appointments) as he was hallucinating, and threatening my family and I.
We now get to deal with trying to get him committed, per contract if its breached he goes back and goes into court to be involuntarily committed.
My whole point of this journal is to bring awareness. If you know someone who is ill...who is suffering. DO NOT IGNORE THE SIGNS. Do not enable their addictions. You may say "Ill get them help tomorrow." there could be no tomorrow for them. These problems do not go away. They don't just fix themselves. Talk to your loved ones, do what you can to help them.
There is nothing worse than watching a loved one deteriorate into nothing. My uncle wasn't always like this. He's the man that taught me how to throw a football so I could play and beat the boys. That showed me Jim carrey movies, and played GI joes with me and dinosaurs, that would take me and my sisters river rafting. He's a man that when lucid he loves his family, adored my sibling and I. That wanted a family of his own.
but because we didn't know the signs...because actions weren't taken, because my grandparents enabled his drinking when he was young. It has come to a point I don't think we've seen my real uncle in maybe 10 years. I don't think he knows himself.
If you know someone going through this. Don't ignore it. Research. Do what you can to talk to them, before things escalate. Before it becomes impossible to reach that person. Don't ignore them.
Again my purpose for this journal wasn't for a "boo hoo pity journal." it was to reach out to anyone that might be going through things as well, maybe personally, maybe through a friend. I'm here to talk and listen."
This is where my sister's post and mine differ. I am adding my own thoughts to this.
As she said my family and I do not feel safe. I plan on getting a restraining order against my uncle much to the hate and anger my mom is sending my way now. The only thing my uncle understands is when you say 'Jail' he stops what he's doing in fear of going back... A restraining order makes it so all I have to do is call and he'll be whisked away and I will be safe. My family I live with will be safe.. I can finally feel safe. The only thing it won't do is protect my grandparents from him. I'm sure they will hate me for getting one as well, but I should not have to feel unsafe in my home. I shouldnt have to worry about him hurting someone I live with.. And if it means I'll be hated for a while by my mom then so be it. I will at least know of I'm around she will be safe from him and he won't set foot near the house.
