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2016: The year of Hell, but I got a happy Ending
9 years ago
While there are still a few days left in 2016; I'm more then ready to call 2016 a wrap and move forward to 2017 at this point. So much shit happened in 2016 (A lot of bad stuff but a few good things) that it would be pages of stuff if I went into every thing that happened in 2016 in detail. So I'm going to keep it to the 10,000 foot view and even then I expect it to be a sizeable post.
And I'm going to keep this 100% personal, as in things that I directly had a hand in. I'm not going to cover how the US and the World for that matter went to Hell this year with Politics and such... that is a full different conversation that makes me depressed, and there is a lot less I can do about it. So I won't dwell...
The first big bump was the rockiness of my involvement with
mnfurs Without going into details I became stressed; it ate a lot of my time and I felt a lot of my efforts were falling short from what I wanted to see happen.
So I got pretty discouraged. I even got a little biter over it too. I stepped away from being a Board Director, I finished my term but did not run for re-election because I had become too burnt out. This was likely the start of my unraveling and affected a few other things too.
Next, was re-finding my place in the two Furry conventions I staff; changing my role by Choice on one convention and having my hand Forced on another. In the end, I am happy with where I am now at with both cons and needed the change, but the process of getting here was painful...
I switched tracks at the first con I ever staffed, Midwest Furfest, where I was head of their gaming department for nearly a Decade. Which is a very long time. The stress I had from being on the BoD of MNFurs combined with other things left me super stressed at the end of the 2015 con. I was reverting to my angry pessimistic former self at the con and I didn't like it. MFF Means a lot to me, which meant I still wanted to continue to help out; and I was provided a chance to switch into their Photography department, and I jumped at it.
Not going to lie, the Photography bit at MFF, for as established of a con as it is needs a little work. I took the position knowing fully well I'd have to deal with being short staffed for a year while I transitioned into the flow of things. I'm quite capable of pulling long hours with little assistance. I've done it for other cons and events (and yes, even as Photography where I'm the Sole Event Photographer).
In the end, everything worked out fine, and I was less stressed this year at MFF then I had been last year in spite of being more of a Lone Wolf. I can work this way, but I do enjoy seeing what a team can do.
When I got involved with the Gaming Department at MFF it was tiny and very disorganized. It was low on everyone's radar, not many cared that we existed. Looking back at where I left gaming, in good hands with a strong head (my second from day one) and solid team I can be very proud of that accomplishment.
I'd like to help develop and grow Photography at MFF into the same sort of well-oiled department if given the opportunity. The same sort of Well-Oiled machine the Gaming department became, this is my Goal. And like gaming, it may take a few years to help shape this; I know this.
MFF will soon be the biggest furry con in the world, so there is no reason not to expect the best from Photography. I'm excited for the possibilities.
Then there was Furry Migration. Long story short without naming names or going into detail; there was Drama. There was Bridges Burned, and in its wake a number of people I no longer trust as much on a personal level (nor probably will for the foreseeable future...). There was a huge explosion of Drama before the con and repercussions after that forced my hand into having a decision made for me of "where I can help out at the con".
TLDR; in the long run I got what I wanted, and am happy where I ended up. But my personality absolutely hates decisions made by someone for me.
I can take some pride that the Photography Department at FM is becoming the same well-oiled machine that the gaming department at Midwest Furfest became. There is nothing wrong with being the person who just adds the oil to keep that machine running vs throwing parts at something until it starts working. I have that challenge with two other conventions... so I should realize I don't need to be always the one building the machine; keeping it running is just as important, even if its less exciting at times.
And finally, relationship stuff. I've done individual posts on the different Phases I went through with my relationship status this year. TLDR; I went from having a LTR for two years to being all over the place. I'm not going to point fingers at anyone (Including myself, because believe me I made a LOT of Mistakes too and could have handled things a lot differently) other then saying going from having a LTR to being single, to having a crush on someone, being rejected Twice and THEN going back to having a LTR at the end of the year was absolute Hell.
My relationship life stood on a razer edge until just very recently. I was ready to say "Three Strikes, I'm done..." but gave it one more chance. It came down to the wire, but sticking in there paid off.
It has a happy ending however (I Hope...), as things have been going very well with my current GF. She's not a Fur, whether or not that will change in time is yet to be seen, but more importantly she knows about my involvement in the Fandom and she is not scared off by it. I'm not going to push it any further then that.
In addition, I made new Friends this year. Some of whom I don't hang out with that often, but making that connection is enough. I had some wonderful lifetime experiences this summer, and even if they became laced with relationship Drama; that doesn't make them any less memorable or enjoyable.
I don't know where the future will lie with my relationship nor with anything else, but as of right now it's all looking pretty bright for me, personally; which is good since a lot of things around me are turning to shit.
2017 will be focusing on improving myself and the small scale, that is paying more attention to those who are close to me (My GF, my Friends.). It may sound a little selfish, but I still have my hand in enough Volunteer activities and can still take pride in making a single cog in a machine work and grind flawlessly vs trying to hammer the entire machine into submission so it starts working together. I'm not cut out to be a Big Picture sort of guy; and there's nothing wrong with that.
To put in an Anaogly of Photography (since that is what I'm focusing on...) I'm switching from a Wide Angle Lens to a Telephoto. I'm switching my focus from a broader view to one more precise and more specific. When your working on the big picture, the little details get missed; so having someone who zooms in on the smaller parts and makes that little piece their entire world is very important.
It's a shift, I'm still adjusting to it. But I've learned I still have plenty of challenges awaiting me, and a lot to look forward in the year to come.
Stick a fork in 2016. It had its memorable moments but now its almost done... and it became a little overcooked and burnt in the process. I'm ready to move on to better things in 2017.
And I'm going to keep this 100% personal, as in things that I directly had a hand in. I'm not going to cover how the US and the World for that matter went to Hell this year with Politics and such... that is a full different conversation that makes me depressed, and there is a lot less I can do about it. So I won't dwell...
The first big bump was the rockiness of my involvement with
mnfurs Without going into details I became stressed; it ate a lot of my time and I felt a lot of my efforts were falling short from what I wanted to see happen. So I got pretty discouraged. I even got a little biter over it too. I stepped away from being a Board Director, I finished my term but did not run for re-election because I had become too burnt out. This was likely the start of my unraveling and affected a few other things too.
Next, was re-finding my place in the two Furry conventions I staff; changing my role by Choice on one convention and having my hand Forced on another. In the end, I am happy with where I am now at with both cons and needed the change, but the process of getting here was painful...
I switched tracks at the first con I ever staffed, Midwest Furfest, where I was head of their gaming department for nearly a Decade. Which is a very long time. The stress I had from being on the BoD of MNFurs combined with other things left me super stressed at the end of the 2015 con. I was reverting to my angry pessimistic former self at the con and I didn't like it. MFF Means a lot to me, which meant I still wanted to continue to help out; and I was provided a chance to switch into their Photography department, and I jumped at it.
Not going to lie, the Photography bit at MFF, for as established of a con as it is needs a little work. I took the position knowing fully well I'd have to deal with being short staffed for a year while I transitioned into the flow of things. I'm quite capable of pulling long hours with little assistance. I've done it for other cons and events (and yes, even as Photography where I'm the Sole Event Photographer).
In the end, everything worked out fine, and I was less stressed this year at MFF then I had been last year in spite of being more of a Lone Wolf. I can work this way, but I do enjoy seeing what a team can do.
When I got involved with the Gaming Department at MFF it was tiny and very disorganized. It was low on everyone's radar, not many cared that we existed. Looking back at where I left gaming, in good hands with a strong head (my second from day one) and solid team I can be very proud of that accomplishment.
I'd like to help develop and grow Photography at MFF into the same sort of well-oiled department if given the opportunity. The same sort of Well-Oiled machine the Gaming department became, this is my Goal. And like gaming, it may take a few years to help shape this; I know this.
MFF will soon be the biggest furry con in the world, so there is no reason not to expect the best from Photography. I'm excited for the possibilities.
Then there was Furry Migration. Long story short without naming names or going into detail; there was Drama. There was Bridges Burned, and in its wake a number of people I no longer trust as much on a personal level (nor probably will for the foreseeable future...). There was a huge explosion of Drama before the con and repercussions after that forced my hand into having a decision made for me of "where I can help out at the con".
TLDR; in the long run I got what I wanted, and am happy where I ended up. But my personality absolutely hates decisions made by someone for me.
I can take some pride that the Photography Department at FM is becoming the same well-oiled machine that the gaming department at Midwest Furfest became. There is nothing wrong with being the person who just adds the oil to keep that machine running vs throwing parts at something until it starts working. I have that challenge with two other conventions... so I should realize I don't need to be always the one building the machine; keeping it running is just as important, even if its less exciting at times.
And finally, relationship stuff. I've done individual posts on the different Phases I went through with my relationship status this year. TLDR; I went from having a LTR for two years to being all over the place. I'm not going to point fingers at anyone (Including myself, because believe me I made a LOT of Mistakes too and could have handled things a lot differently) other then saying going from having a LTR to being single, to having a crush on someone, being rejected Twice and THEN going back to having a LTR at the end of the year was absolute Hell.
My relationship life stood on a razer edge until just very recently. I was ready to say "Three Strikes, I'm done..." but gave it one more chance. It came down to the wire, but sticking in there paid off.
It has a happy ending however (I Hope...), as things have been going very well with my current GF. She's not a Fur, whether or not that will change in time is yet to be seen, but more importantly she knows about my involvement in the Fandom and she is not scared off by it. I'm not going to push it any further then that.
In addition, I made new Friends this year. Some of whom I don't hang out with that often, but making that connection is enough. I had some wonderful lifetime experiences this summer, and even if they became laced with relationship Drama; that doesn't make them any less memorable or enjoyable.
I don't know where the future will lie with my relationship nor with anything else, but as of right now it's all looking pretty bright for me, personally; which is good since a lot of things around me are turning to shit.
2017 will be focusing on improving myself and the small scale, that is paying more attention to those who are close to me (My GF, my Friends.). It may sound a little selfish, but I still have my hand in enough Volunteer activities and can still take pride in making a single cog in a machine work and grind flawlessly vs trying to hammer the entire machine into submission so it starts working together. I'm not cut out to be a Big Picture sort of guy; and there's nothing wrong with that.
To put in an Anaogly of Photography (since that is what I'm focusing on...) I'm switching from a Wide Angle Lens to a Telephoto. I'm switching my focus from a broader view to one more precise and more specific. When your working on the big picture, the little details get missed; so having someone who zooms in on the smaller parts and makes that little piece their entire world is very important.
It's a shift, I'm still adjusting to it. But I've learned I still have plenty of challenges awaiting me, and a lot to look forward in the year to come.
Stick a fork in 2016. It had its memorable moments but now its almost done... and it became a little overcooked and burnt in the process. I'm ready to move on to better things in 2017.
Furyfire
~furyfire
Yay!
