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Long story about a breakup I had 2+ years ago
9 years ago
General
* . • * . · º . * . • * . · º . * . • * . · º . * . • . * . º · . * • . * . º · . * • . * . º · . * • . *Recently a video has popped up that I have saw on youtube where one of my ex's talked about me...he has talked about me before (no he doesn't mention names) but I figured it wouldn't go on for long, since, yknow, he is an ex and all...they get over it... (he was the one that broke up with meee?)but anyway he has made my life so difficult that I basically broke tonight so here i will just copy paste this huge mass of text so anyone can read my stress, which i posted on my facebook:
Rant warning. Drama warning. I apologize for inappropriate behavior. But I want to vent.
I HAVE GONE INSANE.
I am not mentioning any names, so you cannot call me out on any of this. I have my rights, just as HE has HIS.
I am boiling up inside. I am in a relationship right now, and I am SUPER happy! I think he is going to be around for quite a long long time...but there were times that you may remember, I didn't have such a steady and loving relationship such as this...oh wait, did I?
Heads up: this is about an ex, not my current boyfriend.
I've never had a problem with an ex, I hold EVERY RELATIONSHIP I have had VERY dearly, and the fact that we are no longer doesn't mean that my whole 'love' wasn't real or anything, I observe it and reflect and learn from it like everyone should. However, I have an ex that has given me no explanation for the break up at the time, and then proceeded to talk badly about me (both publicly and behind my back). I have not said anything to anyone other than THEM, yet they refuse to speak to me about anything. Sometimes I come across things that I know are about me, and I try to not look at them, but it's not fair--just because I am not looking doesn't mean others aren't... and it's just driven me to the point of hatred. I have never purely hated someone before, but the thought of this particular ex has now left me with a sour taste in my mouth ...not for our relationship, not for the break up, but for the way I was practically thrown away and then had to listen to their sob stories on social media.
I am shaking as I write this. It has taken me over 2 years to come clean with this. I moved away from home. I lost all my friends TWICE. I struggle emotionally and I'm sorry emotions are my main weakness, but they're my main strength as well.
Basically, the break up wasn't that bad. The aftermath was. I still have nightmares and wake up crying. I still regret things. I still wish that I knew why.
And then you see an ex flat out call me a bitch, call me an idiot, and among other things...basically make me wonder what I did to this boy to make him HATE me so much???!
Let me tell you! Since he is so keen on telling everyone about me.
I was this boy's first everything, other than a petty relationship he had with a girl for 1 week. I can still recall all his secrets, all his fears, and everything in between. I taught him how to do most of the things he does with romantic relationships, unless he has turned gay, which wouldn't be surprising with his emo attitude (oops, was that mean?) <-- let me point out these are the FIRST THINGS I have ever said about him and he has said DOZENS about me publicly!!!! I bought him food and gifts, took him on dates, drove him everywhere, paid for almost everything since he was in high school with no job, and wrote him love letters every day before I graduated. I promised to be sweet to him and open and trust but it wasn't what he planned.
I remember opening my TEXT MESSAGES one day to reveal (on my way back home from a long family trip my I add) that he had broken up with me in a 3 sentence long message. Charming how 13 months can go down the toilet so easily...or, to my doorstep, so to say.
So here I am, a bag full of stuff that I refuse to burn, because I know it'll make him more mad if I still have it. That's how upset I am.
I know that now how powerful LOVE can really be. It can push you to PUSH THOSE that you could have blossomed with AWAY.
And, to you, if you ever see this...You have officially done it, congratulations. You have ruined a chunk of my life. You have made me feel so much regret for meeting you that, even me, the one who has meaning and experience behind everything I have done, want to forget it. The relationship was fine, don't get me wrong, but the fact that you have expressed things publicly about me has stirred me. You made 1 video/post too many. You made no effort what-so-ever to fix anything. You dragged me along in a relationship you knew was going to end, expressed through your obvious lust and obsessed for heart break. So, congratulations, you!!! I can finally say I hate someone, and wish to erase their memory from my mind. You have done nothing for me in the past 3 years but bring me tears, blood, and vomit. So excuse my language, but a big
FUCK YOU
goes out just for you, that one special ex of mine that has chosen to never believe in me like I once believe in them. RIP any respect I ever had for you. I hope you're happy where you are now. I am.
If you want to know who, message me, and ladies I will tell you who to steer clear from, curtesy of the once happy and composed me.
I'll be happy to tell you anything.
thanks
-mochi
Rant warning. Drama warning. I apologize for inappropriate behavior. But I want to vent.
I HAVE GONE INSANE.
I am not mentioning any names, so you cannot call me out on any of this. I have my rights, just as HE has HIS.
I am boiling up inside. I am in a relationship right now, and I am SUPER happy! I think he is going to be around for quite a long long time...but there were times that you may remember, I didn't have such a steady and loving relationship such as this...oh wait, did I?
Heads up: this is about an ex, not my current boyfriend.
I've never had a problem with an ex, I hold EVERY RELATIONSHIP I have had VERY dearly, and the fact that we are no longer doesn't mean that my whole 'love' wasn't real or anything, I observe it and reflect and learn from it like everyone should. However, I have an ex that has given me no explanation for the break up at the time, and then proceeded to talk badly about me (both publicly and behind my back). I have not said anything to anyone other than THEM, yet they refuse to speak to me about anything. Sometimes I come across things that I know are about me, and I try to not look at them, but it's not fair--just because I am not looking doesn't mean others aren't... and it's just driven me to the point of hatred. I have never purely hated someone before, but the thought of this particular ex has now left me with a sour taste in my mouth ...not for our relationship, not for the break up, but for the way I was practically thrown away and then had to listen to their sob stories on social media.
I am shaking as I write this. It has taken me over 2 years to come clean with this. I moved away from home. I lost all my friends TWICE. I struggle emotionally and I'm sorry emotions are my main weakness, but they're my main strength as well.
Basically, the break up wasn't that bad. The aftermath was. I still have nightmares and wake up crying. I still regret things. I still wish that I knew why.
And then you see an ex flat out call me a bitch, call me an idiot, and among other things...basically make me wonder what I did to this boy to make him HATE me so much???!
Let me tell you! Since he is so keen on telling everyone about me.
I was this boy's first everything, other than a petty relationship he had with a girl for 1 week. I can still recall all his secrets, all his fears, and everything in between. I taught him how to do most of the things he does with romantic relationships, unless he has turned gay, which wouldn't be surprising with his emo attitude (oops, was that mean?) <-- let me point out these are the FIRST THINGS I have ever said about him and he has said DOZENS about me publicly!!!! I bought him food and gifts, took him on dates, drove him everywhere, paid for almost everything since he was in high school with no job, and wrote him love letters every day before I graduated. I promised to be sweet to him and open and trust but it wasn't what he planned.
I remember opening my TEXT MESSAGES one day to reveal (on my way back home from a long family trip my I add) that he had broken up with me in a 3 sentence long message. Charming how 13 months can go down the toilet so easily...or, to my doorstep, so to say.
So here I am, a bag full of stuff that I refuse to burn, because I know it'll make him more mad if I still have it. That's how upset I am.
I know that now how powerful LOVE can really be. It can push you to PUSH THOSE that you could have blossomed with AWAY.
And, to you, if you ever see this...You have officially done it, congratulations. You have ruined a chunk of my life. You have made me feel so much regret for meeting you that, even me, the one who has meaning and experience behind everything I have done, want to forget it. The relationship was fine, don't get me wrong, but the fact that you have expressed things publicly about me has stirred me. You made 1 video/post too many. You made no effort what-so-ever to fix anything. You dragged me along in a relationship you knew was going to end, expressed through your obvious lust and obsessed for heart break. So, congratulations, you!!! I can finally say I hate someone, and wish to erase their memory from my mind. You have done nothing for me in the past 3 years but bring me tears, blood, and vomit. So excuse my language, but a big
FUCK YOU
goes out just for you, that one special ex of mine that has chosen to never believe in me like I once believe in them. RIP any respect I ever had for you. I hope you're happy where you are now. I am.
If you want to know who, message me, and ladies I will tell you who to steer clear from, curtesy of the once happy and composed me.
I'll be happy to tell you anything.
thanks
-mochi
Thanks! I hope so, too. It has helped a bit.
I have exs i am friends with, then i have exs that exile me.
Sometimes you just need that scream and you feel better
Thanks so much.
like i can understand you have reason for not talking but yeah ♥