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And Now: A Somber Note.
16 years ago
General
There comes a few times in everyone's lives when they don't know how to react to something. Some people, quite a few who I know, drink. Some people cry, some people try to calm the others who are crying.
For me, death is one of those things. For pets, I've cried. For my great-grandmother I was angry, this was because I was kept in the dark about it for a long while after it happened. Last year my grandmother died, the one I live near, anyway. I was completely jaded.
Today, a friend of sorts died, judging by age difference he was about 25. No one deserves to die that young. We had our spats with each other, he hated things I did, as I did him. Really, it was like a normal friend relationship. I can't find myself feeling sad though. It's not that I'm heartless, but I really just don't feel anything. My friends are, or at least one of them is, planning to get all of us together to talk about it. Maybe it's just a feeling of melancholy I have, not real sadness, but not quite apathy, but I don't think I should get together. Given my horribly morbid sense of humor, I'm more afraid of treading roots there than anything.
To be fair he was prone to seizures and forgot/didn't take his medication on occasion. That may have caused his untimely end. I wish I knew more details, but I'm the last on the grapevine of my friends, so it'll slowly trickle down to me, not that it'll matter.
Like I said earlier (I ended up having a break in the middle of writing this). I really don't know how to handle death tenderly. I'm always sorry for someone's loss, but I am highly jaded towards it. Again, though, I have a morbid sense of humor, which made me actually smile and get out of the slight melancholy that had overtaken me. Unfortunately what made me smile was a statement about my deceased friend, which is why I fear I'll tread roots I shouldn't.
Rest in peace, those who have fallen. We will remember you fondly.
~TJ
For me, death is one of those things. For pets, I've cried. For my great-grandmother I was angry, this was because I was kept in the dark about it for a long while after it happened. Last year my grandmother died, the one I live near, anyway. I was completely jaded.
Today, a friend of sorts died, judging by age difference he was about 25. No one deserves to die that young. We had our spats with each other, he hated things I did, as I did him. Really, it was like a normal friend relationship. I can't find myself feeling sad though. It's not that I'm heartless, but I really just don't feel anything. My friends are, or at least one of them is, planning to get all of us together to talk about it. Maybe it's just a feeling of melancholy I have, not real sadness, but not quite apathy, but I don't think I should get together. Given my horribly morbid sense of humor, I'm more afraid of treading roots there than anything.
To be fair he was prone to seizures and forgot/didn't take his medication on occasion. That may have caused his untimely end. I wish I knew more details, but I'm the last on the grapevine of my friends, so it'll slowly trickle down to me, not that it'll matter.
Like I said earlier (I ended up having a break in the middle of writing this). I really don't know how to handle death tenderly. I'm always sorry for someone's loss, but I am highly jaded towards it. Again, though, I have a morbid sense of humor, which made me actually smile and get out of the slight melancholy that had overtaken me. Unfortunately what made me smile was a statement about my deceased friend, which is why I fear I'll tread roots I shouldn't.
Rest in peace, those who have fallen. We will remember you fondly.
~TJ
