Hugs

Hey, don't beat yourself up over it, man. Everyone in some way has something about them that they all face. While being OCD is no joke, I do have to say I'm sorry you've dealt with idiots (both in mind and attitude).

Stick to your guns and keep with it, man. We're here for you anytime you need help, or just someone to talk to.

If you're having problems like this, you should consider talking to a doctor. As supportive as friends can be, they're not experts.

I've been diagnosed with OCD and am on medication for anxiety and depression. Something recent sort of triggered this and I needed to vent and seek support, but also let some people, know why I act weird, because I get a lot of complaints and it only makes it worse on me with the anxiety.

Complaints from friends or from strangers? If the latter, I'd recommend being less public. There's no problem that can't be made worse by randoms online.

I may delete it, I may not. If people use mental illness against me or whatever, they're huge pieces of garbage. Not like SOME people wouldn't do that, but generally speaking, most wouldn't, and I needed to vent. so it's here, a blog, or on a one on one talk support site, which, is no actual guarantee they aren't going to massive dicks, either. so I'm taking my chances anywhere but a private journal, really, and I feel I shouldn't have to keep it a secret :/

You cannot help but be bothered by something if something bothers you. I'm not sure what would help but in some circumstances it might be productive to have a conversation with people who say things that bother you. Other times it might just be constructive to just let it go and be proud that you are not as ignorant as some others. However just because some people might have a crude sense of humor doesn't mean they are idiots, they might just be used to a different group of people who find that sort of humor funny.

Racial humor can be a touchy subject as well but really depends on context. I'm half mexican (and half white, for honesty's sake) so i understand how people feel when jokes take note of a particular culture or ethnicity. I dont appreciate it when racist inbreeds call Mexican immigrants "parasites", but me and other Hispanics can find racial jokes about Hispanic culture quite funny. It depends on the context, like who is saying it and if any malice is intended. Its complicated but racial humor doesnt have to be degrading or insulting, sometimes it's fun to poke fun at others or make fun of yourself. It's one thing to call a mexican immigrant a "parisite" in a joke, its another thing for a Mexican or even a caucasian to laugh at the trope of "Mexicans always do the work no one else wants to do" or make light of cultural differences and tension.

Race is a tricky subject but i think alot of racial humor depends on context. If someone knows you hold no malice towards their ethnicity or culture, its more okay to joke with them. I have a friend who is Korean and i joke with her sometimes about her driving. It all depends really but you being uncomfortable with what someone says isnt really a bad thing, it might just be important to voice your concerns and also hear what they have to say.

The idiot thing doesn't always apply solely to their sense of humor, AKA, my conservative, uneducated relatives automatically "knowing best" when I am clearly much more intelligent , or at least willing to learn. . and people teasing me because I have trouble controlling my temper/reactions in part of because they have triggered my anxiety. as an example. I know not all racial humor is bad, but I see a lot of people Hitler trigger happy lately, and frankly, some of that stuff just isn't in my line of humor but some of it is just gross.

As for dialogue . . what dialogue will you have with people who just want a reaction out of you ? The kind that makes them laugh longer? .-.

If they are making fun of you then you cant really talk to them, but if someone doesn't understand how something bothers you, but is willing to talk about it, it might be an interesting conversation for both of you. Generally if someone wants to get a reaction out of you at your expense, they're just an asshole. If they cannot respect you enought no not tease you or respect your boundaries, they dont deserve to be given consideration or patience. I understand how annoying people who dont understand you can be though, especially with family. I am not sure what i would recommend for your situation, but for me, when someone says something that bothers me, i just think to myself that i know better, ive dedicated more time to understanding what they are talking about than they have and that their words dont have to bother me. It's not quite easy to just "not let it bother you" because thing are bothersome, but there are different ways to come to terms with it, i find. For example, for me, if some uneducated punk wants to try and educate me about their racist, bigoted perception of what Muslims are and What they do, i first lay down the facts, and then when they start being jerky, smug and unpleasant to me, i start to poke fun at them and their faults and make them insecure. It doesnt really help heal the divide but it shows them i have teeth and not gona let some conservative jackass try to degrade me.