Everyday is the same. I wake up to an empty house that is always too hot or cold and always damp. It's a good house and I'm not complaining but it's just not MY house. My house is everywhere but nowhere. I get ready for my day that I just want to sleep but in our world sleep isn't an option. I leave my home and I make sure to say goodbye and to stay safe because I know life always likes to slap you in the face. When I get to where I need to my mind dazed and all I can think about is going home. Everyday I'm met with faces that seem distant and unknown to me. I feel like an orange amongst apples. I was never popular in school and even now I'm not to popular with people. But I don't want to be. However what would be nice is friends to travel with me on this road of mine. It's long and hard with twists and turns. The longest I've held a friendship is less than a year. Many reasons I have yet to build a full relationship with someone. My heart has been through so much breaking it feels numb now. I have friends, I know that. But I feel as if those will be my only friends.
My life as an artist is short. Only a year. Before then I had never been interested in art. I wanted to be a scientist. I went to school thinking I'm going to be a scientist. Then art came along. It came with this fandom that I fell in love with. I started with drive and carefreeness so that every piece I drew was amazing to me. Then entered that feeling. You know that feeling. The one where you start thinking on things that you shouldnt but you do. Now I'm sad about my art. Art is like poison. What's bad for your heart is good for your art. (Not my quote).
I know only two or maybe three people will read this and I will thank them. But yeah. Writing out my thoughts and shit so I can get on with my life.