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since nobody really looks at this anymore.
8 years ago
*wobbles about and smiles at* It's a header. What did you expect some grand thing to know?
I may as well just use this place as something for me to just talk about. Yeah I at least got a break thanks to two generous people in my area that happened. First thing was my gas cap broke and left half of it on the inside when I went to get the car filled. Couldn't do anything until I somehow could get it off. Friend used a flat head to at least get the gas cap out of the car but now it left a problem to getting a new one. When I went back the next day and got a different gas pumper and was told about it. When I explained it was a previous employee who did it, he found a spare gas cap and gave it to, saying it even fit properly. So that was one less stress.
The other thing is when at work serving customers, I get a random card from an off duty cop saying that if I show it to a police officer if I should ever get pulled over, that it could help me in a certain way, so that helped brighten my day when those things happened.
Unfortunatly it still doesn't help the fact I'm no longer getting paid enough now to just live. Rent, car insuraunce and cell phone bills all strip me of my money, leaving barely enough to make it through two weeks if I buy mostly just ramen, spaghetti and a couple bags of voila while relying on change and tips as well to pay for gas. All in all I'm starting to break down in tears more often in the safety of the car than I like to admit since one of these days I probably will break and maybe do something I will really regret to myself.
The other thing is when at work serving customers, I get a random card from an off duty cop saying that if I show it to a police officer if I should ever get pulled over, that it could help me in a certain way, so that helped brighten my day when those things happened.
Unfortunatly it still doesn't help the fact I'm no longer getting paid enough now to just live. Rent, car insuraunce and cell phone bills all strip me of my money, leaving barely enough to make it through two weeks if I buy mostly just ramen, spaghetti and a couple bags of voila while relying on change and tips as well to pay for gas. All in all I'm starting to break down in tears more often in the safety of the car than I like to admit since one of these days I probably will break and maybe do something I will really regret to myself.
that all being said, I'm in a much better place mentally than I've been in over 10 years despite everything else pretty much burning down around me.
We all need to vent though, some more than others, thats just natural. Maybe you just need a new outlet or two for doing so. If you don't mind my asking, do you see a therapist? I only ask because I avoided doing so for many years, despite others telling me it was totally necessary.... and it's really helped (so does the right medication as well).