a sinner saved by grace and faith... yet I am still here.
9 years ago
some say I am crazy, and I'd say that they're at least half right.
they say that "saved is sealed."
(NIV)
Ephesians 1:13,
And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,
Galatians 3:14
He redeemed us so that the blessing promised to Abraham would come to the Gentiles in Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit.
James 1:21
Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and every expression of evil, and humbly receive the word planted in you, which can save your souls.
as like Peter, I find that I still.
Romans 7:19,
For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing.
how much of myself has to be lost, to be that which I am meant to be in Christ?
how can I be a light unto those whom are like I was, if I leave where I know that they are?
is it only my flesh that still likes the darkest depths of these places, or do I really lose myself from my sight of Christ when I look into these depths and share in their labors?
what good can I be to the kingdom of God, from in the gutters?
again maybe like Peter, I am left asking... is this my thorn in the flesh?
I feel driven to write, and yet I weep over what comes out. when I write.
I feel driven to look, and yet I drool and then mourn over what I am drawn to look at.
I feel driven to stay in touch with everyone that I fear is lost in these darkened places, and yet I fear that doing so will hold me in the dark too, and I like it, though I know that I shouldn't.
can salt and light function as they are meant to, even in mud?
(NIV) Matthew 5:13-16
Salt and Light
13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.
15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
I fear that it can not, and yet where would I go from here... my family in Christ would be sickened to know and here of the things that I still do and write about...
does this mean anything to anyone, aside from God, even if I am to be the salt trampled into the road, and/or a lamp under a bowl, at least I may show the path to some others from here, no?
or as King Solomon said; it is all for not!
and if my troubled mind is for nothing, then why should I think about it, even if I am wrong, someday it will still glorify God to judge me and my works, thoughts, and actions... so I'll stay, I'll be has He made and then remade me for as long as He lets me to do so.
(NIV)
Ephesians 1:13,
And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,
Galatians 3:14
He redeemed us so that the blessing promised to Abraham would come to the Gentiles in Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit.
James 1:21
Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and every expression of evil, and humbly receive the word planted in you, which can save your souls.
as like Peter, I find that I still.
Romans 7:19,
For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do--this I keep on doing.
how much of myself has to be lost, to be that which I am meant to be in Christ?
how can I be a light unto those whom are like I was, if I leave where I know that they are?
is it only my flesh that still likes the darkest depths of these places, or do I really lose myself from my sight of Christ when I look into these depths and share in their labors?
what good can I be to the kingdom of God, from in the gutters?
again maybe like Peter, I am left asking... is this my thorn in the flesh?
I feel driven to write, and yet I weep over what comes out. when I write.
I feel driven to look, and yet I drool and then mourn over what I am drawn to look at.
I feel driven to stay in touch with everyone that I fear is lost in these darkened places, and yet I fear that doing so will hold me in the dark too, and I like it, though I know that I shouldn't.
can salt and light function as they are meant to, even in mud?
(NIV) Matthew 5:13-16
Salt and Light
13 “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.
14 “You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.
15 Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
I fear that it can not, and yet where would I go from here... my family in Christ would be sickened to know and here of the things that I still do and write about...
does this mean anything to anyone, aside from God, even if I am to be the salt trampled into the road, and/or a lamp under a bowl, at least I may show the path to some others from here, no?
or as King Solomon said; it is all for not!
and if my troubled mind is for nothing, then why should I think about it, even if I am wrong, someday it will still glorify God to judge me and my works, thoughts, and actions... so I'll stay, I'll be has He made and then remade me for as long as He lets me to do so.
FA+
