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Musings on Sexuality and Gender Identity...
9 years ago
General
Greetings to my followers out there,
just getting under the wire of my "once a month" commitment it seems.
SO, over the last week or two, I have been having some absolutely wonderful conversations with some new friends and followers that have been quite engaging in expanding my views of sexual identity and gender identity. For privacy, I will of course not name names. But one is a Transmale whom I have met and come to regard quite fondly, and the other is a self identified "Gay" male, who seems to strongly find himself attracted to large, masculine women.
I wanted this Journal to be a summary of some of our conversations, condensed and presented in a way I hope others may find enlightening.
"On the fluidity of Sexuality."
Humans like to have things organized, it is one of our primary coping skills in a highly chaotic world. As such we tend to like putting things in nice, neat categories. One of the biggest of these is the simple "Gay-Lesbian-Stright-Bi". Four rather simplistic categories that people use. But, such categories breed their own problems.
Many people are born "Knowing" certain things that they feel in their very soul. More and more these days, thanks in part to certain societal progressiveness, more and more kids have the ability to "Know" if they are not a standard heterosexual. They may identify as "Gay" from a very early age. But what exactly does it mean to be "Gay" or "Straight"? The most simplistic answer is who we pick to have sex with. But as many out there may know, this is a poor measurement.
"Sex" is a very primal and basic human urge. We all develop cravings for Sex in a variety of forms. And, for some they may desire sex in ways that may not fit with how they identify.
For my "Gay" friend, he has identified a number of sexual cravings that center around Females. Specifically large powerful females with, not to point to fine a point on it... Very "Large musky vaginal openings" and, to his credit, a fixation on orally worshiping such womanly parts. (good boy)
Of course, such 'urges' causes one to doubt their sexuality. Does this mean they are not gay? Are they Bi? The answer to that I feel is one that many should take to heart...
For me, sexuality is not about sex, it is about Love.
Who do you feel you can truly Love?
For my new friend, after several conversations, I came to the conclusion that, for the most part, the type of "Females" he yearns for are basically "men" in female form. Strong, Aggressive, Masculine, Musky, Muscled, and Dominant.
Now, let me be the first to say these traits are by NO means restricted purely to men. Indeed they are qualities that I hope may be found more and more in new generations of women. (If only we could be that strong)
But, they are traits typically associated with males and masculinity. To desire such traits in a woman, and to feel you could "Love" a woman of such traits, I feel reaffirms ones inert feeling that they are still "Gay" at their core. I should like to say, I feel this also because of one other similar friend, one who I know does not mind me using his name.
ruco first met me to me almost 14 years ago and found me out asking about almost the identical urges. Someone who identified as "Gay" but came to chat with a woman because of growing sexual urges with large powerful woman.
And these are traits I have seen in many others in my time.
"Straight" men who play with other men, often seek out very Efem, submissive, 'girly' men to play wih. IE Men with "Female" qualities.
"Straight" females I have known, have sought out other females with very 'male' qualities.
And so it is that certain "Gay" men, also seek out very "manly" females to engage in new sexual pleasures.
*Musings of Gender Identity and Transgenders*
This brings me to my second half of these musings. That of Transgenders.
Despite however 'Progressive' some may feel they are. Transgender people are still a highly maligned and often ostracized subset of the "Gay" community.
As a species that likes to categories everything around it, Transgender people often defy any standard category we may wish to assign.
Part of this is unfortunately the "Fetishization" of Transgender people in general.
Thanks to the proliferation of "Futa" or "DickGirl" porn, the original idea of a Transgender woman, became something seen almost exclusively in Pornos. A person who was born "Physically" male, but with the mind and soul of a Woman, and went through an intense and painful process to transform themselves into the woman they know they are... At the end of this process, they are often seen as just a sexual fantasy. Their identify reduced to the single word "DickGirl"
Transmen face the same problems. The spread of the word "CuntBoy" is both demeaning and belittling to almost any true transgender male. Again a person born physically as a woman, but with the mind of a Man.
I have been fortunate in my life to have a number of transgender friends. And glad to have recently made yet another online. It is very refreshing to speak to a man, who I can relate to about certain things, that no other man could possibly understand. And that perhaps touches on the final aspect these ramblings. To those out there curious, or perhaps shy on how to interact around these individuals... Please remember.
They are not "Dickgirls" or "Cuntboys" they are often not even "Transmale" or "transfemale"
They are "Men and woman"
And just because their "Hardware" is not quite what one would expect, in no way diminishes who they truly are inside.
just getting under the wire of my "once a month" commitment it seems.
SO, over the last week or two, I have been having some absolutely wonderful conversations with some new friends and followers that have been quite engaging in expanding my views of sexual identity and gender identity. For privacy, I will of course not name names. But one is a Transmale whom I have met and come to regard quite fondly, and the other is a self identified "Gay" male, who seems to strongly find himself attracted to large, masculine women.
I wanted this Journal to be a summary of some of our conversations, condensed and presented in a way I hope others may find enlightening.
"On the fluidity of Sexuality."
Humans like to have things organized, it is one of our primary coping skills in a highly chaotic world. As such we tend to like putting things in nice, neat categories. One of the biggest of these is the simple "Gay-Lesbian-Stright-Bi". Four rather simplistic categories that people use. But, such categories breed their own problems.
Many people are born "Knowing" certain things that they feel in their very soul. More and more these days, thanks in part to certain societal progressiveness, more and more kids have the ability to "Know" if they are not a standard heterosexual. They may identify as "Gay" from a very early age. But what exactly does it mean to be "Gay" or "Straight"? The most simplistic answer is who we pick to have sex with. But as many out there may know, this is a poor measurement.
"Sex" is a very primal and basic human urge. We all develop cravings for Sex in a variety of forms. And, for some they may desire sex in ways that may not fit with how they identify.
For my "Gay" friend, he has identified a number of sexual cravings that center around Females. Specifically large powerful females with, not to point to fine a point on it... Very "Large musky vaginal openings" and, to his credit, a fixation on orally worshiping such womanly parts. (good boy)
Of course, such 'urges' causes one to doubt their sexuality. Does this mean they are not gay? Are they Bi? The answer to that I feel is one that many should take to heart...
For me, sexuality is not about sex, it is about Love.
Who do you feel you can truly Love?
For my new friend, after several conversations, I came to the conclusion that, for the most part, the type of "Females" he yearns for are basically "men" in female form. Strong, Aggressive, Masculine, Musky, Muscled, and Dominant.
Now, let me be the first to say these traits are by NO means restricted purely to men. Indeed they are qualities that I hope may be found more and more in new generations of women. (If only we could be that strong)
But, they are traits typically associated with males and masculinity. To desire such traits in a woman, and to feel you could "Love" a woman of such traits, I feel reaffirms ones inert feeling that they are still "Gay" at their core. I should like to say, I feel this also because of one other similar friend, one who I know does not mind me using his name.
ruco first met me to me almost 14 years ago and found me out asking about almost the identical urges. Someone who identified as "Gay" but came to chat with a woman because of growing sexual urges with large powerful woman. And these are traits I have seen in many others in my time.
"Straight" men who play with other men, often seek out very Efem, submissive, 'girly' men to play wih. IE Men with "Female" qualities.
"Straight" females I have known, have sought out other females with very 'male' qualities.
And so it is that certain "Gay" men, also seek out very "manly" females to engage in new sexual pleasures.
*Musings of Gender Identity and Transgenders*
This brings me to my second half of these musings. That of Transgenders.
Despite however 'Progressive' some may feel they are. Transgender people are still a highly maligned and often ostracized subset of the "Gay" community.
As a species that likes to categories everything around it, Transgender people often defy any standard category we may wish to assign.
Part of this is unfortunately the "Fetishization" of Transgender people in general.
Thanks to the proliferation of "Futa" or "DickGirl" porn, the original idea of a Transgender woman, became something seen almost exclusively in Pornos. A person who was born "Physically" male, but with the mind and soul of a Woman, and went through an intense and painful process to transform themselves into the woman they know they are... At the end of this process, they are often seen as just a sexual fantasy. Their identify reduced to the single word "DickGirl"
Transmen face the same problems. The spread of the word "CuntBoy" is both demeaning and belittling to almost any true transgender male. Again a person born physically as a woman, but with the mind of a Man.
I have been fortunate in my life to have a number of transgender friends. And glad to have recently made yet another online. It is very refreshing to speak to a man, who I can relate to about certain things, that no other man could possibly understand. And that perhaps touches on the final aspect these ramblings. To those out there curious, or perhaps shy on how to interact around these individuals... Please remember.
They are not "Dickgirls" or "Cuntboys" they are often not even "Transmale" or "transfemale"
They are "Men and woman"
And just because their "Hardware" is not quite what one would expect, in no way diminishes who they truly are inside.
I am curious is it something you were unable to come to terms with in terms of sexual identity?
o just people in general who are Transgender?
It is a good quote mind you, but perhaps a bit presumptuous ;)
Of course of equal importance is not just to "get along" but hopefully, to work to prevent those that do NOT wish to "get along" to cease being a nuisance to many out in the world.
Give it time, I guess.