Reposting this here

So like, real talk
Lately every day is a struggle to function. I guess it's a good thing that I am incredibly afraid of death and actually have several things that I want to live for now , otherwise I would have been gone before I ever found those things. I am constantly tired, my joints and muscles hurt, and I am so godawful bored. Not just bored with one thing or the other, I am bored with everything. .except hubby. My relationship and my cat are the only good things here. There is nothing to do here and even if there was I lack the energy to do anything. I am so frustrated and bored and I am starting to become apathetic towards my favorite things. Mom is pressing me to try and find a work from home job but I can't find much of anything and what's worse is that idk if I could even keep up the drive to do it. It's not that I don't want to, because I would love to be able to do something and not be a total failure but I'm literally having to cancel DJ sets due to what is basically fatigue (and a scratchy throat, our central heating system died and we are using space heaters that dry the air out too much for me). I am just so frustrated with my body and my brain like why can't you just work like normal T-T ...what even is normal?
Idk ramble over

(Tldr; FML)

Also the pain and fatigue are not exactly new to me, I remember working at McDonald's and I would need a full day after a shift to have fully functional hips and legs again. I am so useless T-T


I hate that any time I talk about this sort of thing I feel guilty and like someone is going to pop out of the wood work and accuse me of just wanting attention.